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5 Reasons I HATE Valentine's Day!

Kate Dolack
tagged: humor, holidays
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(Photo Credits: Photo Pin)

Ahhhh, Valentine’s Day: the second most celebrated holiday in the entire world.  A day in which people from Kansas to Kazakhstan, Brazil to Bahrain put aside their grievances and embrace life’s most treasured emotion: LOVE!

No? It doesn’t work that way? But this is absolutely not what a myriad of overwhelmingly saccharine television commercials would lead you to believe. Valentine’s Day can indeed be a day of joyous adoration but that does not mean it is immune to a few absolutely dreadful nuisances.

5. Homemade Valentine’s Crafts

The problem with the holidays is that it brings out the inner Martha Stewart in seemingly everyone, and now that we have social media sharing devices we are bombarded with countless images of delightful homemade decorations and treats.  That, in and of itself, is not the problem; these days, homemade holiday items are no longer something to be shared with your loved ones. No, homemade holiday decor is a straight-up craft war to the death.  We all know that person who posts an endless feed of knick-knacks made from household items, dripping with false humility, ‘Oh? These Valentine’s Day themed hubcaps? It was so easy, really. I was able to do it in a few hours with junk laying around the house.  Nothing a blow torch and some glitter can’t handle!’

When I was young kid, we all brought in paper cut outs for Valentine’s Day: you know, the ones with the perforated edges that featured whatever cartoon characters were popular. But these days, there are simply too many moms and dads on a mission.  Instead of sending their kids to school with simple and sweet Valentine’s cards that they and their child created and/or signed, they’re sending their kids off to school with a backpack full of homemade crafting torpedoes of lace and glitter and the most expensive papers.  It would seem that the intent of these missives is not for the appreciation of your average first grader, but for that first grader to bring it home and let it subtly deliver the message, ‘Remember when you thought you were a good parent? Not so fast! I made little Susie’s Valentine’s out of organic, cruelty-free silk, fair-trade paper and 14K gold-flecked glitter.  Of course your obviously rain-forest destroying, made in China, exploitative children’s character (little Susie didn’t understand the message because we don’t let her watch television) Valentine’s cards were…. interesting.  Was that a nod to the irony of the day, or are you just a hobo?’

So, perfectionist crafting brigade, please, please just take it down a notch on Valentine’s Day.  Don’t do it for me, do it for the children. The children!


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