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Dear Overly Sensitive Wife

Sally Spouse
tagged: sally spouse, military life
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Dear Sally,

A friend of mine recently showed me several websites and Facebook pages that really disturb me! They all focus on either making fun of military wives, posting pictures of them on base, or blatantly attacking each other!!!  Have you seen any of these sites?  I know I shouldn’t get so upset over this stuff, but it really bothers me!  Am I the only one who gets this upset about it?  Should we just ignore it, or should we try to make them stop this nonsense?


Overly Sensitive Wife!

Dear Overly Sensitive Wife,

Ahhhh, the era of social media… giving voice to every jerk who has a computer and wasn’t cool enough to be a bully when they were a teenager. It’s a beautiful thing, don’t you think?  To answer your first question, yes… I have had the pleasure of seeing many of those sites.  Some people say (mostly those trying to defend why they are spending SO much time pestering people they don’t even know) that it is just in good fun and that it is “humor”.  Well, my version of humor and theirs must be very different. Ha ha ha, we all get it… “Military wives are fat, lazy, dependa (insert some ridiculous animal here) morons who just mooch off their husbands paycheck every month and give birth to herds of children.”  Excuse me while I die of laughter. I personally love humor… when it is GOOD.  I don’t find that same old stereotype to be funny, even on the days when I am bloated, wearing yoga pants, and eating bon-bons. Come up with something new already.

Maybe it is just because I am old.  Maybe it is just because with every year that passes I care less and less about what people think of me… especially those people who have never met me.  If someone wants to laugh and poke fun at me because I went to the Exchange in jeans, an inside out tee, and my hair up in a Barbie scrunchie I found between the couch cushions… I DON’T give a flying flip.  They were not at my house when 3 kids got the stomach flu WHILE their Dad is deployed.  They were not there when the washing machine ate my last pair of “real” pants on a weekend when I would have to turn tricks to afford a repairman.  And they were not there when I realized that we were out of toilet paper (AND our stockpile of emergency McDonalds napkins, thank you) so I had to run to the closest store before kid # 2 exploded again.  I am sooooo sorry that I didn’t stop to wash and dry my hair, match my shoes to my belt, and put on my fake eyelashes.

In response to your other question, unless they are engaged in illegal activity directly affecting you, don’t feed the monster by messing with them… just click that magical X in the right hand corner.  The more you argue with them, the more attention they get… and let’s face it that is exactly what they want.  Now, from what I have seen, some of those sites very well might be engaging in illegal activity, and yep, if MY picture was taken on government property and posted on some smut site, I would probably research what my legal options were.  Same goes for defamation of character and true cyber bullying.  But if it is just a bunch of mean girls who want to resolve childhood issues by talking trash… well, then I might send them a therapy bill, but I wouldn’t waste my time calling the cops or reporting them to facebook.

But I do understand why you are upset.  Military spouses have fought for years to get rid of those nasty stereotypes, and it’s a hard pill to swallow when we see fellow spouses perpetuating them.  I much prefer the “stereotype” of the military spouse who is busting her tail taking care of her kids, a household, a career, her community, and fellow spouses… all while supporting the person she married because she loves him and would do anything for him.  THAT is an accurate portrayal and I promise you there are far more who fit into that category than any “Dependawhatsastupidsaurus” they want to doodle on their sketch pad.

The reality is that we all have the freedom to say whatever stupid thing we can think of.  That is, after all, the beauty of this amazing country that our spouses serve, right?  But that means that YOU also have the freedom to rise above the nonsense, ignore it, and choose to contribute to the betterment of society instead of just browsing the internet for people to poke fun at. So, the next time someone tries to send you to one of those sites, just say “No thanks. I have filled my quota of bad humor for the month!” and go find that magical right hand corner X.


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