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Maturity Does NOT Always Come With Age

Shawna Robles
tagged: military life, opinion
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Photo Credits: Photo Pin

The cyber bully. They are everywhere now. At first I thought maybe it was only happening to teenagers, but I am very surprised to see it happening in the military community as well. And even worse… we are doing it to each other!

I am not sure if social media is good or bad for the military community. I suppose every change has its ups and downs. However, I do wonder if spouses always had this hatred for each other and only recently began voicing it through social media. I guess the idea of being able to say what you want behind a computer screen is helpful for some. But do any of them really say some of the same things when in a face to face situation? For example, if you were attending an FRG (Family Readiness Group) meeting and a new spouse was asking questions that to you seem a little ridiculous and should be common knowledge, would you honestly stand up and call that woman stupid or petty? Honestly. So why is it okay to do it on the internet? When I was in Hawaii we didn’t have a facebook page for spouses, or at least I didn’t know of one. And life was pretty normal. Base was a fun and safe place to be. Making friends was difficult but doable. And the FRG was there to help with any questions or concerns. If someone had an issue with you they would talk to you in person, otherwise you would never know about it.

Here in the D.C. area I have been introduced to a facebook page for spouses and at first I thought it was an amazing idea. It was created to be a place for new arrivals to gather information and meet new people… something I wasn’t offered in Hawaii. So I eagerly joined up and have gotten some very good information from most of the spouses who are also members. Every once in a while I would see some controversial post that would start an argument. It was few and far between though. Then after a few months it got really bad. There were women who actually would go on to the page and name a certain spouse and began dragging her name through the mud and saying what a horrible person she was and for all of us to stay away from her. How someone could do something like that and then have the nerve to say they are better than whatever the spouse did to them is beyond me. It didn’t stop there. It got worse and worse… like a flood gate was opened for women to freely put each other down. The admins of the page would try to step in, but would often end up in the middle of the stone throwing. Soon a page was created for women to join that had no rules and you were allowed to say what you want about whoever you wanted. I didn’t join that page but from what I gather they don’t often speak kindly of others. People who are not members will hear that they are the topic of discussion on the page and would have to find out that a large number of spouses who live on the same base were stealing her pictures and making fun of her publicly. When asked to stop by the bullied they would defend their actions and insist they are being a “baby” who just needs to sit back and enjoy the ride.


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