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The Top 10 Perks of Being A Marine Spouse

Erin Whitehead
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tagged: marines, military life
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Photo Credits: Erin Whitehead and Heather Bird Photography

Some days I have a love/hate relationship with the Marine Corps. And then there are the days when I have a HATE/HATE relationship with the Marine Corps. It’s on those days when I have to dig deep to remind myself that this life we have chosen is not always bad… and that even when it stinks, there is some humor to be found along the way.

So if you are having an “Oohrah, I love the Marine Corps” kinda day, tuck this away for one of those “I never wanna hear that stinkin Marine Corps Hymn as long as I live” kinda days. ‘Cause I promise, one might be right around the corner. And if you can’t find something to laugh about, you might be that woman on the news in your curlers and slippers who was found in Wal-Mart ranting about civilians that just don’t understand. I care about you… I don’t want you to embarrass your children on TV.

So without further ado, my Top 10 Perks of Being a Marine Spouse

10) Beautiful Glassware!

If you are about to marry a Marine, please read this before you register for your china. Don’t waste time looking at fancy glassware to serve up mixed drinks with your friends. First of all, most Marines prefer a can or a Dixie cup. But more importantly, after the first few Marine Corps Balls you will have an entire set of cool glassware commemorating the various years of the USMC’s birthday. After 10 years of Marine Corps Balls, you will be drinking out of them at dinner. After 20 years of Marine Corps Balls you will be giving them as Christmas gifts. So register for something useful, like your favorite curtains in a variety of shapes and sizes… guaranteed to fit whatever base housing you move into next.
 

9) Cheap Chicken!

When all your civilian friends are paying $4.00 a pound for chicken breasts at the grocery store, you are getting a package of chicken breasts that have just been reduced to 20 cents a pound at the commissary! My heart beats a little faster when I think of the 20 cases of kids’ Suave shampoo I bought at a case-lot sale two years ago. Each bottle ended up being like 40 cents. So everyone in the house, including the dog smells, like Strikin Strawberry! (Note: TMO will not move 20 cases of shampoo for you, so only do this at the beginning of a tour at your new duty station.)

8) ORDERS!

Do you hate your neighbor’s dog that barks at all hours of the night?  Do you despise the fact that your town has more tattoo parlors than good restaurants? Are you sick and tired of that one really annoying PTO Mom who seems to be perfect and always sends in $500 professionally wrapped gift baskets for Teacher Appreciation Day? Never fear, my dear! The Marine Corps doesn’t want you to have to suffer through all these things for more than… oh let’s say three or four years. Before you know it, your Marine will come home and say those famous three words: “We have orders.” And you can say goodbye to that duty station and start on a new adventure. Don’t worry. By the time the Marine Corps decides to move you BACK to that base in three years, there will probably be at least one new restaurant and that PTO mom will be in rehab.

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