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Civilian Friend Doesn't Get It


I'm so frustrated with my friend back home.  I've known her for about 4 years, we meet when my husband was deployed for the second time and I went back home to stay while I was finishing up my BA and my family could help out with our daughter.  

Lately she's become this "nothing phases me" person and I can't stand it!  Everything I say, post, or do I am either over reacting, over planning, or the civilian life is the same.  I am going back to school for my BSN and of course my husband leaves to go on deployment around the time I am ready to apply to the program.  So last night I did a timeline of where my classes will fall and when he leaves and returns home (of course I know anything can happen and probably will).  She posted that she wishes she was as good of a planner as I was and I commented back that we have to be in the military life especially when deployments are concerned.  She said that it was with any life and that she doesn't plan and just lives her life and knows everything will work out!  IT DRIVES ME CRAZY!!!  Nothing phases her at all, she can handle everything and I am overreacting.  

It's like she has no clue and doesn't care to know how my life is as a military spouse.  It also doesn't seem to have any respect for it either!  I don't know how to handle this.  I know if I call her out on it she will just piss me off even more, b/c that's the type of person she is.  My military friends read all her comments and pretty much can't stant her, even though they've never met her, just becuase she seems to have to respect for what I go through.


















Did you miss the part where she gave you a COMPLIMENT?  That she ADMIRES you for being so organized? And that she's not chalking your being organized up to military life, she thinks being organized in any life style is a good trait to have?  At least that's what I got from the description of the facebook post / comments.

I'm sure there's more going on in your friendship with this person that is annoying you, and this particular facebook exchange just felt like one more thing...

I do think that you should talk to your friend about how you are feeling.  And I do mean talk, a phone conversation, not an online or text message chat.  You never know, maybe this attitude of just go with it and it will all work out is in response to some things going on in her life that you are not aware of.  Maybe she needs some support.  Or maybe she thinks she is being supportive and doesn't realize how you're taking her comments.  At any rate, don't let a friendship fall away without a heart to heart.

What I would recommend is this, instead of getting your military spouse friends to her. Honestly, I've been through deployments and everything with my husband and with my civilian friends I don't bring up the military. When my husband was deployed I lived my day normally, yes there was crying but life has to go on. What's probably going on is she may be jealous of your other friends or of your life. Best thing, is due to I have found a lot of military spouses can act like life is so much harder than civilians, well life is hard for everyone. Don't let your other friends get into it and talk to her. Sorry if I'm coming off harsh, but remember on Facebook you can't see the other persons emotions.


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