Gigya Leaderboard

Boyfriend Transitioning out of Military...

Hello, all! I am new to the forum and looking for some advice from those that are familiar with transitioning out of the military.

My boyfriend has been in the military for the last 12 years. We have dated for 2 1/2 years and have planned to move in together this spring (around the 3 year mark). We have been talking about this move for a long time and I am SO excited about it. Unfortunately, it's getting closer to the date of my boyfriend's transition (this fall). As we get closer, he continues to panic. He says he is worried about making the wrong choice "with everything in life" (he says this includes me) and says he doesn't know what he wants to do. One day it seems like he has his mind made up on a career; the next day, he tells me the option from the day before is now his "backup plan." I know he is confused, but sometimes I feel like I'm dealing with multiple personalities.

Now we're to the point that he might not even want to live together. It breaks my heart because I know it's all related to the transition, but he's shut me out so much that I can't get through to him. He keeps saying he "isn't sure" and is afraid to make the wrong choice. We've been talking about this for 2 years and he's already asked my parents to marry me. I know it's not the wrong choice - he's just scared.

Has anyone experienced a boyfriend or husband transitioning out of the military? Did you experience a similar situation? How did you comfort him? I just want things to get better. :(

 
Q: Dear Sally: I was dumped over a promotion!

A: Dear Sally, My friend dumped me because my husband was promoted and hers was not, how do I deal with this? -- Rank Ruined Friendship Dear Rank... Read more.

Q: Nervous about Nookie after Deployment?

A: My husband comes home from his first deployment soon. We have only been married a little over a year and he has been deployed most of that time.... Read more.

Q: Worried about OPSEC?

A: My husband is deployed and they are scheduled to be coming home soon. I keep seeing other spouses in the unit posting stuff like dates and locatio... Read more.

Q: Are You Slowly Going Insane in Base Housing?

A: I know lots of people who hate base housing, but I really like living on base. Well, I did until my new neighbors moved in... they are driving me... Read more.

Q: Should we consider geo-baching?

A: At what point should we let our kids have a say in whether or not we accompany their dad on his next PCS? Our children, ages 15 and 17, have really... Read more.

 
  • Follow us
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • Google +