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Feeling very hostile, don't remember feeling this way before...

I have been married 16 years, this is the first deployment in like 6 years.  I have two children, one aged 9, the other aged 7.  My husband will be missing our 16th anniversary, and his siblings' weddings.  I am feeling quite hostile about other family responses to his deployment.  My 9 year old has moderate-to-severe autism, and does not handle deployments or TDYs very well.  His family has only mentioned the fact that he will be missing the weddings, and has not the acknowledged the fact that we are expecting a huge emotional regression from my son due to the deployment.  We have mentioned that we will not be going to the weddings, because of this regression, and I have had gotten nothing but grief regarding it.  I feel very hostile and very angry towards my husband's siblings, mother, and father.  

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