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Anxiety Problems during deployment

 My husband has been deployed for almost a month now and I was fine the first 3 weeks. Then my mom came to visit and I totally broke down. I finally let all of my emotions out and cried like crazy. However, I have been having anxiety attacks when I leave the house. Even going to the bx or the gas station I get dizzy, upset stomach, shaky, sweaty. I feel terrible. I told my husband about it but I don't want to worry him. I finally managed to go to the doctor and she put me on some medicine to help me adjust. I just wish I could feel normal. I realize I will be sad with him gone but I didn't think I would have so much anxiety about going places alone. Has anyone else experienced this?

 This is our first deployment and I will be 20 in March. We have been married 8 months and our relationship is great. I spent a year in college but was never alone due to living in dorms. Now we moved 900 miles away from home and I have no family here. We have a few friends but none that I am comfortable enough to confide in. My family has offered to stay with me for a while but I feel I want to be strong but clearly it isn't working. I am going to school, and was volunteering at a local medical clinic then the last morning I woke up to go I freaked out. Im better now that I talked to the doctor and realized my feelings are quite normal. I still wake up in the morning and get shaky and crying and short of breath and nauseated. I think most of my problem is that I am scared to get an anxiety attack when I go out which keeps me from doing anything or puts me into an anxiety attack just from worrying about it. I need to get into that point of few that I just need to do it and once I realize I am fine I will keep getting better and better. Thanks for replying. It's nice to know I'm not alone.

 Thanks for the advice! I have gotten a little better and we are almost to the half way mark. I've notived I just had to keep my mind busy, I workout, study, or do sudoku. I tried to read by I can't concentrate and my mind just wonders. It helps to be on here too.

Cymbalta and lorazapam worked for me...My husband left in May, and by September I couldn't hold the 'front' up anymore (partially because of the Chinook incident in August as he is a flight engineer and when I read about the incident, I had to wait for a couple of hours before he was online).  He'll be home in the next few weeks and we can't wait!

guess i was fortunant growing up without many friends. i had been living alone for a few years before me and my husband got together. so, by the time we were married and he left for the first time i had gotten over all this. i do remember when i moved out of my parents and into my apartment for the first time. i remember lying in my bed that first night, listening to all the new sounds and people on the other side of the wall. i didn't grow up in apartments and it was all new to me. i didn't go out much in my early 20s. renting a movie and picking up a bottle of wine was my idea of a treat. over the years i wanted to get out more, especially since going out with my husband was enjoyable, i wanted to do the same thing when he was gone. something that helped me whenever i wanted to go out but had a hard time getting my legs to move, i just told myself that if i didn't go i would feel bad later and feel like a coward. not saying your a coward, thats just how i felt if i chickened out and stayed in. if you want to go somewhere by yourself, take a breath, remind yourself of how much you want to do this, and put on your shoes. it gets easier the more you do it. i just celebrated my birthday by going out shopping and dining by myself, and there is nothing wrong with that. it feels normal to me at this point. i feel bad for my husband when he gets back, he won't know what to do with me.

Well now I know it's not just me and other wives are going through this also. I haven't been to the doctor yet but I can't seem to hold any food down. My husband left at the end of september and I kinda feel lost. This is our first deployment together. I was fine when he first left but now, I'm just scared. Can't eat barely drink. I have a 7 year old and I am usually running around doing everything. But I can't seem to do anything.

ksue wrote:

 This is our first deployment and I will be 20 in March. We have been married 8 months and our relationship is great. I spent a year in college but was never alone due to living in dorms. Now we moved 900 miles away from home and I have no family here. We have a few friends but none that I am comfortable enough to confide in. My family has offered to stay with me for a while but I feel I want to be strong but clearly it isn't working. I am going to school, and was volunteering at a local medical clinic then the last morning I woke up to go I freaked out. Im better now that I talked to the doctor and realized my feelings are quite normal. I still wake up in the morning and get shaky and crying and short of breath and nauseated. I think most of my problem is that I am scared to get an anxiety attack when I go out which keeps me from doing anything or puts me into an anxiety attack just from worrying about it. I need to get into that point of few that I just need to do it and once I realize I am fine I will keep getting better and better. Thanks for replying. It's nice to know I'm not alone.

 

I think its normal to be anxious when your husband is deployed and if you need to take something for it then you should its only going to help you. Don't think because your anxious that makes you week, Anxiety has nothing to do with a person being either strong or week. IT just means that at this moment in time you are going through alot of different change in your life that has caused you to become anxious. The first thing I would suggest is to go to your regular Doctor and tell him your symptoms and see if the doctor will put you on something Then  I would find a therapist that specializes in anxiety and see if you can go for a couple sessions. It may make a world of difference to you.  Good Luck and  I hope you feel better. 


Yes ma'am!  I have certainly experienced exactly what you've described.   The first time was when my husband (now ex-husband) was deployed.  I was young (I turned 21 during his deployment) and I'd never had an extended period of time alone until that point.  It helps to talk about how you're feeling.  You also need to find a support group, even if it's just a few close friends or acquaintances you can go out with.  I remember the only time I really "went out", I had a girl's night out that my co-workers and friends organized for me.  You might want to consider reaching out to female friends to see if anyone wants to do something, even something as simple as going to the mall together once in a while, or going bowling, or seeing a movie, or just working out together.  For me, it was the sheer loneliness that I wasn't used to, and that's what triggered anxiety attacks.  Distract yourself!  Take a class, if you can, or pick up a brand new hobby to stimulate your mind.  My recommendation is to stay away from too much alcohol, keep to a healthy diet, and work out consistently.  Read a few good relaxing books and write or talk out your fears and worries.  If you need anything at all, let me know and I'll try to help.  Good luck!  

Lorazepam works for me too but getting out does help. Even if you aren't close to these women try going to lunch with them or asking them to your home, you may make a really good friend out of it. Read about breathing techniques and if you feel comfortable talking to a therapist or chaplin do that. Lavendar calms me so I keep a small bottle of lavendar oil in my purse. I dont know if these things really work or if they are more of a security blanket but I wear these anti motion sickness bands and they somehow help my nausea and anxiety. It's really hard I know but it gets better. Just being outside in the sun can help but try recognizing your anxiety. I notice little things like my heart rate increases or I start to sweat and when that happens I'll sit down and start breathing or if I'm home I'll go lay down. I have relaxing music programmed into my phone so I can turn that on when I need to. The best thing for you is to keep pushing yourself a little bit and talk to people about it, I let people know I do have anxiety attacks and sometimes if I feel uncomfortable I will step outside to get some fresh air or go to the bathroom to put some water on my face. It's ok to lean on your family too, it might be nice to have breaks in between the deployment to have someone close around. Last deployment my mom's wedding was the halfway mark so the first half I was focused on getting everything ready for that and by the time I got home from it, I focused on I'm now halfway to hubby being home, set little goals for yourself and you can do it!

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Quoted

Well now I know it's not just me and other wives are going through this also. I haven't been to the doctor yet but I can't seem to hold any food down. My husband left at the end of september and I kinda feel lost. This is our first deployment together. I was fine when he first left but now, I'm just scared. Can't eat barely drink. I have a 7 year old and I am usually running around doing everything. But I can't seem to do anything.

Keri, I hope you've seen the doctor by now - or at least made an appointment to be seen.  What you are describing are classic symptoms of depression, and while feeling depressed right now is completely normal, the changes in your appetite and lack of motivation to do anything indicate a significant level of depression.  Is there anyone there you are close to - a friend, fellow spouse, Ombudsman, anyone?  Someone where you are located needs to know what's going on with you and then help you get to an appointment.  If you are having trouble sleeping, are losing weight without trying, are not able to do your usual tasks like bathing, shopping, cooking, etc. or cry all the time, you need to be seen very quickly.  If you are having any suicidal thoughts you need to be seen immediately!

Hoping you are feeling better!

 
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