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Stress winning out on me

Being a SAHM with young kids is hard, add in the fact that I have a physical disability that limits me and doing odd jobs to get ahead financially.    I barely have time to go to the bathroom and when I do, I have a mess to clean up when I leave my 3 year old unattended for that time.  I can't help but feel like a failure as a mom and wife because my house is usually a disaster within minutes of being clean.  I stay up to email my husband and clean up what I can around the house (getting 2 hours of sleep if lucky).  I do everything for 2 kids plus jobs and being a wife.  I just want to scream. 


Well, our family all lives 700 miles or so away.  The sitter thing would work, but I find it hard to trust people with my kids.  As for the budget, we are ok.  As for my health, it will never improve but continue to get worse over time since I have to use that part for everything I do.  Doing dishes takes me an hour for a sink load, just to wash, since I only have function of 1 hand.


Are you near a military base?  They may have hourly care available at their child development center. I was much more comfortable leaving my kids with them since the care providers have background checks and there were cameras in every room. 


Mel. "Life...it is what it is. Suck it up, deal with it and move on."

Sounds like you need some "you" time.  Find an hourly daycare and bring your kids there for a few hours.  I did this twice a week and utilized that time to run errands or to do something that I enjoyed.  If money is too tight, do you have family nearby who can take care of the kids for a few hours?  Also, redo your budget to determine how much extra income you really need or can you cut some expenses.  The reason I suggest this is that it seems you are trying to do too much and eventually this will catch up to you and make your physical problems worse.  You need to take care of yourself.  I also have a disability and it was hard to not try to be superwoman and it took time to realize that I can only do my best within my physical constraints.  Every time I pushed myself over the edge, I would get sick and be pretty much useless for a few days.  Motherhood doesn't make that a viable option so it's important to pay attention to your well-being.   


Mel. "Life...it is what it is. Suck it up, deal with it and move on."

You can trust sitters if you go through some of the sources out there that are available.  What about teenagers of people your spouse works with? Neighborhood teenagers? Other wives? They can all help out.  You can also look into pre-school as an option a few days a week, sometimes offered through churches or centers that are reasonable.   Maybe also ask your spouse for help on the cleaning and the kids.  Yes he works but so is raising kids when you are disabled so he can do some things, even dishes, sorting laundry.  Ask for a you day in which you can go get a pedi/mani or you can get your hair done, meet up with some friends, etc...

 

Actually have your 3 year old help you with some things by making it into a game.  Have a quick pickup basket in places as well that the toys can go into.  Putting laundry into the right baskets, things along those lines.


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