what do I do?
As someone with a bipolar mother, please find a way to get her help for the kids' sake (preferably in tactful-as-possible way so that you can continue being a stable influence on the kids). My mom has, in my opinion, too much contact with her boyfriend's son, and the way I hear they treat him is pretty crazy and sort of heartbreaking.
The chaplain idea is a good one -- if he/she (or even a fellow parishoner or member of her DH's unit) can make a home visit, then they can let her DH know that she's hit the skids if it would be too sensitive for you/your DH to let her DH know. Or even her PCM or kids' pediatrician can broach the issue. Do they have family willing to take the kids to give her a break? There is military foster care available.
Have her contact the Family Readiness Center, they have counselors available to help and can recommend other ways to help.
I would definitely say get In touch with his command or OMB. She will then go to the proper channels, most likely lives close, and will get that spouse the support she is entitled to. It does sometimes happen that a member is called back for family issues but that is a LAST resort and there are other things they will go trough first such as the free counseling and very cheap childcare we are entitled to. Once you get the word to someone in the military circle this would fall under "mandatory reportables" and they are obligated to take action.
Ps his ombudsman likely has Facebook page. Be mindful of the family's privacy though
Is your friend currently taking her medication and going to counseling? If not, you need to tell her to contact her psychiatrist and get back on a treatment plan. Quite often a person with bipolar disorder will stop the required treatment because he/she feels its no longer needed. Then, he/she is unable to acknowledge that things are going to crap again. She may get ticked off at you, but her safety and her children's safety is the most important issue at this point. Does she have a family member close to her location to get her moving on this issue? Also, is her husband's command near her location? If so, I would contact the chaplain that is attached to her husband's unit. He will know who to contact to get her the support she needs.
Mel. "Life...it is what it is. Suck it up, deal with it and move on."
Military life counselors are available on many bases and are completely confidential. A chaplain is another great option, as is Militay One Source. She needs to get help. Most likely, his command will want to see that she is trying to get help before they think of bringing her husband back. Like a pp said. That is usually a last resort.
Chaplain is another option for you to contact. He/she might be able to help especially contacting the command. What about the command itself? Maybe a the CO's spouse/Ombudsman/Key Volunteer, etc... Does she have family who could come in for help?
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