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Spouses Wearing Rank

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rsttst01 wrote:
I think that this situation was meant to be in fun and humor. Not to be taken seriously that she out ranks him or anyone for that matter. My husband jokes all of the time that my daughter and I are the 4 star and 3 star Generals that he and my son answer to. Obviously, my three year old has no rank and neither do I, but he thinks it is funny to joke about answering to us.

I TOTALLYYYYYY AGREE!!!


~Heather B.~

I wonder what rules they give the guys at the gates. I'm at Great Lakes, and every time I drive through, they look at my little pink ID, and still salute. I wonder if they are instructed to salute every officer's car or something.

 I think this is the first time I have ever posted on here but, this subject infuriates me!  I have to agree that this was in good fun, and I think it added a cute touch to the wedding.  All of us know that this life is not for everyone.  But when you are new to it, it does get a little intimidating.  I think it was endearing for the other spouses to pin her.  My husband and I always, joked about me being the MCPON when he was a Chief.  Now he is a CWO and we say that I am the Captain.  Big Deal!  And I agree, about those dumb purses!  We live in Pearl Harbor and it seems every Air Force and Army wife has one.  I haven't seen very many Navy wives with them.  I do think its ok to be proud, but remember who earned it.  Have a great weekend!/WorkArea/threadeddisc/emoticons/cool.png


:-))

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I would take that as a joke...now had the new colonels wife said to say a spc wife, "im going to cut in line at the commissary because I'm the wife of a Col" that would be wearing your husbands rank figuratively.


but the thing at the wedding is actually kind fo cute.


I do agree that it was a joke cute one, But i do have to say there are ladys out there that do try to wear their husbands rank!! I dont tell people my husbands rank because I dont want them to think that I have to act different because of his rank i am a very helppful wife to other soliders wives and I dont want any one to be worried about coming to me when they do need help. Yes i am a proud army wife but i dont wear any rank in or out side of my house I beleive me an my husband is a united and we give and take its a 50/50 marriage !!!

 

Thank you,

Trisha  

I'm sure this was a joke...but probably a bigger shock b/c they were doing something to the dress! I, for one, wear two warfare pins my hubby has earned on my lab coat. So when he's deployed, I'm still representing him on the home front. They are pinned in such a way it is obvious that they are not any sign of official standing - but that they clearly have meaning to me. He likes it because it keeps a part of him close to me. Many people have commented and have asked for their thanks for his service to be passed onto him.
Do not confuse your rank with my authority.

I'm sure this was a joke...but probably a bigger shock b/c they were doing something to the dress! I, for one, wear two warfare pins my hubby has earned on my lab coat. So when he's deployed, I'm still representing him on the home front. They are pinned in such a way it is obvious that they are not any sign of official standing - but that they clearly have meaning to me. He likes it because it keeps a part of him close to me. Many people have commented and have asked for their thanks for his service to be passed onto him.
Do not confuse your rank with my authority.

I have a sign on our front door that says "Leave your rank at the door". I bought it at cracker barrel and think it is the funniest thing ever. No matter what rank you are everyone deserves to be treated with respect.

I am curious about how military spouses feel about spouses who wear their active duty member's rank and those who encourage them to do so.  I recently attended the wedding of a colonel.  His wife is quite a few years younger than him and is new to military life.  During the wedding reception, 2 leadership spouses (a colonel's spouse and a general's spouse) got everyone's attention and proceeded to pin generals stars on each shoulder of her wedding dress and told her it was to remind her that she outranks her husband.  The bride looked shocked and confused.  I didn't think much of it until I heard what the other people in attendance were saying.


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Well, what the OP was mentioning was clearly a joke, but if those ladies start using their hubby's ranks as their own in a real life setting (i.e. while shopping, or at a party) is when everyone has a problem.
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I agree with the others that this was probably just a joke. Perhaps tasteless to do at the wedding. I have seen quite a few spouses wearing their husbands rank though. How about a Colonel's wife wearing her hubby's rank on her ACU purse? Complete with the jump wings her husband earned before they were even married (he earned those during his previous marriage). Although she constantly "says"she doesn't wear her husbands rank,she "literally"is. Also, she has no issue reminding other spouses that her husband is the Brigade Commander. This in my opinion is a poor representation of a military spouse.

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I don't even think this was about "wearing rank."  They pinned General's stars on her, and her new husband was a Colonel.  It was all just a joke, I'm sure.  We have been in for about 6 years and I have seen VERY little of the real kind of "wearing rank."  I am not sure that it is actually as big a problem as it is made out to be.  I think that there are spouses who may act superior, but not necessarily as a "wearing rank" sort of thing.  If my husband were a senior officer, and I had been through all those years with him, I would think I had a pretty good amount of experience to offer and maybe in some cases that comes off as "wearing rank." 

OK, I normally don't respond to these post, But... I think it was done as a joke in the instance but there are wives who believes they are deserving of the rank that their spouse has earned. I have had the honor of being a service member for 15 years and a wife of a service member for 11 and it makes me so angry when I see military wives throw their husband rank around especially those married to Senior Enlisted and Officers. However, I am sure those who wore the uniform did see the humor in their pinning the rank on the dress

I think that this situation was meant to be in fun and humor. Not to be taken seriously that she out ranks him or anyone for that matter. My husband jokes all of the time that my daughter and I are the 4 star and 3 star Generals that he and my son answer to. Obviously, my three year old has no rank and neither do I, but he thinks it is funny to joke about answering to us.

i know this post is old but i want to add something my husband said a couple of weeks ago. he recently got his E6 and for some reason we were discussing ranks. i mentioned i don't know what i would be since my jobs don't really carry ranks. he replies "you have a rank, you are officially household-6". hmmmm.

sounds like what people just want is appreciation for what they are doing. i will admit i have gotten jealous of all the attention my husband has gotten from various people over the years when i'm the one who has given up my career, changed jobs, lost my friends, and any time my husband does something that makes me want to breath fire all i hear from my mom is "he's military, he's stressed out, give him a break". i don't even talk to anyone anymore. he can do no wrong and i'm not doing enough. i guess having an actual rank from the military might make some things all better. but they don't. but it doesn't mean that they don't show any appreciation. i have a certificate from an award ceremony i attended with my husband. i attended a postdeployment meeting with him. not many wives showed up. but for the few of us that did, our husbands were given pins to pin on us that we were to wear for the day. so despite all the disappointments this life may bring (yet again someone had to bring up walmart on this thread, ever heard of the military spouse relocation program they offer their employees?) i have a couple of things i have been given by the military that i can physically hold onto when i need it. i'm sure there are plenty of people on here who have that too.

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I've never seen it in the 20 years I have been around this, I HEAR about but I think the saying is overused and in used as a way to belittle someone else. I've seen it said when someone is happy that the other spouse made rank..funny thing is.. I never hear it said when a lower rank is made ( meaning that spouse is gushing about it, I hear congrats) but anyone over XYZ then they are automatically rank wearing. I always known someone who knows someone who knew someone 

My step mom says Ms Col, but thats because thats how she is addressed by the retired army and shes in her 70's back in those days it was the case to call a O's spouse by his rank... no longer the case and shouldn't matter 


Don't say it if you don't live by it or mean it yourself.

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rsttst01 wrote:
I think that this situation was meant to be in fun and humor. Not to be taken seriously that she out ranks him or anyone for that matter. My husband jokes all of the time that my daughter and I are the 4 star and 3 star Generals that he and my son answer to. Obviously, my three year old has no rank and neither do I, but he thinks it is funny to joke about answering to us.

Yup, that's pretty common and its all in fun,

Don't say it if you don't live by it or mean it yourself.

They are saluting the sticker not you...


Kim, no one is saying that wives shouldnt be respected--just that they dont deserve to wear their husbands rank--they havent earned it.  Would you expect to be called doctor if your husband was a doctor just because your husband is a doctor? No, that is more like what people are saying.   They are just saying that spouses shouldnt get extra special treatment just because they are married to higher ranking military men (and woman).  In my opinion, respect is something that everyone deserves until they do something that makes me disrespect them.  For example, the commissary wife I wouldnt let in because she didnt have and ID.  She tried to embarrass me, make me look bad, and generally treated me with disrespect because she forgot her ID. I was never disrespectful to her.


I dont see a lot of spouses wearing rank, but working at the commissary, I probably see it a little bit more than some people.  I am sure this was joke, but their are some spouses who do try to wear their husband's rank.  Honestly, it makes not one wit of difference to me what rank your spouse is because I am going to treat you with the same amount of respect one way or the other.  I will say this, though, at our commissary it is a "closed" commissary--meaning you have to have a military ID to get in.   This is where I see most people trying to throw their rank around.  The commander is pretty steadfast about this.   One wife in particular did not have an ID, and I wouldnt let her in. She called the commander personally on her cell phone, and I guess he told her to hand the phone to me--which she did very smuggly.  The joke was on her, though, because all he said was, "Thank you, for doing your job," and told me to hand her the phone back.  She left in a huff, but I thought it was hilarious.


I think it was a joke too, maybe in bad taste at ones wedding though.  When my husband put his crows on for Chief, I became Senior.  HA HA..  

Should a spouse try to do this to anyone, turn to them and ask them to show you their ID card.  What a joke..  But there are those out there that do it..    Just laugh in their face and go about your day..    I know I would..  /WorkArea/threadeddisc/emoticons/wink.png

 couldn't have said it any better Nanu!

 

I think the gesture was all in fun.  At the base my husband is at, the officer spouses have their own club and they are active in the base community. It seems like all the ones with higher ranking husbands know each other and they become a close knit group so the gesture could also be viewed as a welcome into the officer spouses club.


Mel. "Life...it is what it is. Suck it up, deal with it and move on."

chinrse1234, I wish I could have seen that. 


Mel. "Life...it is what it is. Suck it up, deal with it and move on."

fatlacie, I hear ya on remembering who earned the rank.  At the commissary and exchange there are reserved spots for certain ranks.  I saw a woman park in one of those spots and I knew she wasn't the servicemember.  I said something to my husband about it and he told me I could use those spots too.  I told him that I am not a  Marine, I didn't earn that rank and why would I take that spot away from a Marine who earned his rank.   He just looked at me and smiled. 


Mel. "Life...it is what it is. Suck it up, deal with it and move on."

Tracey, I find it interesting that you state, "I feel that I have earned a rank with my husband being in the military for 27 years!!"  I've been doing this for over 22 years and the only thing I have earned is experience and satisfaction in my ability to handle military life.  My husband does tell me that my ability to handle everything at home has made it easier for him to do the best he can for the Marine Corps. He has also stated that I contributed to his success.  I accept his compliment but I know that he is the one who has worked his a$$ off to get where he is today and I would be doing the same thing even if he worked a civilian job.  The major difference is that in the military I am frequently solely responsible for the running of the household and find those times similar to what a single parent would have to deal with, so I consider the times alone par for the course. You've earned the right to be part of his life, regardless of occupation, because you have stuck by his side in good times and bad for 27 years.


Mel. "Life...it is what it is. Suck it up, deal with it and move on."

kimberly8705, I have never felt that my contribution to my husband's career was unappreciated and I don't feel degraded or demeaned.  Believe me, I do get respect when I am present at squadron events because of who I am married to.  I also get treated with respect anywhere on base because I am a human being and that's how we treat eachother.  You know the common niceties that we show to people we interact with but do not know.  I am coming from the place where I see too many people acting like they deserve more than anyone else because of what their husband does.  I don't believe I deserve more and I don't think that I should take advantage of his position.  Why shouldn't I walk an extra hundred feet to the door, just like any other spouse would have to do.  I don't understand why you are getting upset about people who do not feel they should be treated differently because of who their husband is.  What matters most to me is that I am important to my husband and that he appreciates my commitment to what he has chosen to do with his life.   When he retires and the military is no longer calling the shots, we will just be an older married couple who are doing what we need to do to take care of our family. 


Mel. "Life...it is what it is. Suck it up, deal with it and move on."

My husband told me that the reason they salute the vehicle with an officer sticker is because women are also officers and they do not want to offend them by assuming that every female driver is a spouse and therefore does not rate a salute.  Now, if they have seen the driver's dependent status on the ID and they still salute I would wonder why they would feel that is appropriate.  I have been mistakenly referred to with my husband's rank, even after they have seen my dependent ID, and it makes me uncomfortable every time.  I asked my husband several times why the gate guards don't know the difference between a dependent ID and an active duty ID.


Mel. "Life...it is what it is. Suck it up, deal with it and move on."

Navywife, I believe that we, as spouses, make it possible for our husbands to have a wife, kids, and a loving home while they are achieving success in their military careers.  There are single servicemembers who achieve great success in their careers because they work their butts off, as do the successful married servicemembers.  My husband would have a more difficult time having a career and family if I was not here to lean on.  My husband's military successes are his own and what he appreciates is that he can have the family he wants because I am able to successfully handle the responsibilities of caring for our family and our home and he can devote his full attention to his career.  I do not take credit for his rank.  He earned it and I don't expect to be treated with any more respect than what is given to any military spouse.  What I do take credit for is providing him with a happy and supportive family and home. 


Mel. "Life...it is what it is. Suck it up, deal with it and move on."

NavyWife, you will never be able to convince me that it's ok to wear my husband's rank.  You and I apparently approach our roles as military spouses differently.  What I have been doing the past 23 years as a military spouse has been working for me and I don't see any reason to change it.


Mel. "Life...it is what it is. Suck it up, deal with it and move on."

I am sure this was all done in fun.  Maybe the bride was more shocked that they were pinning something to her dress?

I think in this case, the "pinning" at the wedding was just a joke...but I have definitely come across incidents of spouses wearing their service member's rank.

The first incident I came across this was when I worked for the AF. I was a Dept of the AF civilian and I worked with mostly AF officers in the Civil Engineer Squadron. Every quarter we would have a social at the Officer's Club for all of the AF officers and civilian employees GS-9 and up. At the time I was a GS-11, and I also happen to be married to an enlisted Army soldier.

Anyway, at one of these socials, I overhead the wife of a 2nd LT talking to her husband and some friends, and she snottily asked why I was allowed in the O' Club b/c my husband was enlisted. I remember being flabbergasted she would say that because I had earned the right to be at the event because of my professional career (her husband was my peer, if anything had LESS responsibility than I did) and she was recently married and as far as I was concerned hadn't done anything that would have given her the right to say I wasn't good enough to be there.

I also once met a spouse with whom I had a lot in common who lived near me. We were both finishing our Master's degrees, had professional careers and were married to Army soldiers. We were both interested in reading and she suggested we start a book club. We planned the first date of the book club, and then the morning of the event, she left me a message on the phone that she had to cancel the group, b/c her husband had told her she wasn't allowed to socialize with the spouse of an enlisted service member. I guess she/her husband had looked up my last name on the telephone roster for the installation and found out his rank. I found out later she still had the book club, I just wasn't invited, and she NEVER talked to me again! Again, I was flabbergasted that although she and I were both professional women, that she would judge me based on my husband's rank.

At the same time, I have many friends from different times in my life who are the spouses of both officers and enlisted servicemen who are great people and none of us give the ranks of our husbands a second thought. I just have to avoid the toxic people that do judge themselves based on their husbands' accomplishments vs. their own!

I am always joking that I'm Mrs. Master Sergeant.... I love my husband and he knows that I joke about it a lot. I think if it's done in fun that's great. I feel that I have earned a rank with my husband being in the military for 27 years!! I've earned the right to be part of his military life.
A long time military wife..

I'm with the masses who believe it was a military spouse related joke... having higher rank in the marriage! It sounds like maybe the people at the wedding hadn't heard of the jokes, and didn't find the humor in it! A bit like the Marine Corps sword arch ending with a slap on the bride's butt and saying "Welcome to the Marine Corps, Ma'am!" -- We did that at our wedding and our guests really got a kick out of it! There are lots of silly little traditions people like to carry out on occasions like this. Sounds like this is one of them!
www.KimberlyTurnerOnline.com

 I agree with rstts01;  I think it was ment in jest.  I joke with my husband that he needs to remember he has a rank but I have the authority; or that I am the CINCHouse i.e. Commander in Chief of the House. 

On the other hand when women ask me what my husbands rank is (to determine what my value is), to these kind of women I don't answer I just say, "Well, why do you ask?"  And that usually throws them for a loop and allows for a change of topic.

I agree that it was a joke. The bride may have been taken back by it because she was not in on the joke. I have been to advancement ceremonies where Commanders themselves will say that the wife earned this advancement as much as they have....so they refer to them as the same rank (or even higher). It is all in good fun....it does NOT mean that she should run with it & start calling herself "Mrs General" OR in my case, take the SHIP out for a spin!!!!!!


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ProudNavy&AggieWife, what do you mean by: "However, I also know those women that try to "wear" their husband's rank as a sort of entitlement or in a snobbish manner. ***I am fortunate to be the wife of a higher ranking officer***, but in no way does my husband's rank define me." ?
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"Fortunate enough"? I'm confused. Fill me in.
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LOL Jen. You might be right!
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1 for it being a fun joke. *shrug*
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LOL! Soo glad that my hubby is in the National Guard and an enlisted, so that I dont  have to deal with this crap. Hilarious...

<Br>  ps. I have and love the acu purses, "I am not wearing his rank"..I am displaying how proud I am of him and what he does. 





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 I think that they were just being funny. Sounds like a bit of an inside joke.

I personally do not think that you should not "wear" your spouses rank visibily like that. Its one thing to have it on a homecoming shirt or your purse, but another to wear the acutal military items.

Kinds funny that I read this because I was just thinking about it the other night and was alittle upset. At my last FRG meeting, the president of the group showed up in a shirt that was insulting in alot of ways. It was a plain white tshirt with sharpie writing in the front saying "I (heart) my second class petty officer". On the right sleeve was a man's dress blues 2nd class patch. If you know Navy, this belongs on the left side to begin with. On the left arm was a blue camo esws pin tape. Written on the back was "Ooyrah". If I remember correctly, Navy is "Hooyrah". I was bothered by this shirt for many reasons. One, she is the president and should not do this in general, the items on the arms were incorrectly placed and wrong in general, and her husband is Navy, not Marines. This shirt was all wrong from the start. I knida wished I had seen it in Walmart because I would have totally taken a pic and posted it to the crazy Walmart pics website.

I have been a proud Navy wife for a number of years now, and I share the common consensus that this was done all in good fun. However, I also know those women that try to "wear" their husband's rank as a sort of entitlement or in a snobbish manner. I am fortunate to be the wife of a higher ranking officer, but in no way does my husband's rank define me. He earned that rank, not me; and for a woman to "wear" her husband's rank shows a sign of very little self-esteem and/or very poor character. It's one thing to be proud of your spouse and his or her accomplishments; it's just ignorant to think that you're entitled to any special treatment because of it.


"When God leads you to the edge of the cliff, trust Him fully and let go, only 1 of 2 things will happen, either He'll catch you when you fall, or He'll teach you how to fly!" - Unknown

I def agree. Some people just take wearing his rank to a whole new level. lol 


http://lifeadventuresajr.blogspot.com/

Sounds like a joke to me. My parents have a sign in their kitchen that says "A Colonel and his Commander in Chief live here."

 

No doubt this was meant in fun! Whether in the Military or the civilian sector, it is a universal joke about who "wears the pant" in the family--which also translates to "rank".  This was purely meant as a statement to that couple's relationship.  It was NOT meant to say that this Colonol's wife outranks other spouses, or other Military members--which is what "wearing your husband's rank" is referring to.  This is a wonderful lifestyle (give or take) and we must all learn to laugh at ourselves, and with our Military friends and family members!  Lighten up girls!

 



Quoted

Hang on a minute there NavyWife1994...  Did you actually say "I DESERVE TO BE SALUTED at the gate just as much as my husband does."  All caps added by me to illustrate the entitlement mentality.

You are (and please tell me if I'm mistaken here) a SPOUSE of someone in the military.  As the SPOUSE of someone if the military YOU ARE NOT DESERVING OF A SALUTE FROM ANYONE!!!  And that coy remark about "not abusing your power"...  Hang on, I think I threw up a little in my mouth...  That's just disgusting.

Here's a link for you about salutes in the military...  http://usmilitary.about.com/cs/generalinfo/a/salute.htm  Please feel free to read it and educate yourself before EVER saying you DESERVE any type of military honor.  And in case you don't feel like clicking and learning, here's the snippet that concerns:

Persons Entitled to a Salute

  • The President of the United States (Commander-in-Chief)
  • Commissioned Officers and Warrant Officers
  • Any Medal of Honor Recipient
  • Officers of Friendly Foreign Countries

A salute is also rendered

  • When the United States National Anthem, "To the Color," "Hail to the Chief," or foreign national anthems are played.
  • To uncased National Color outdoors.
  • On ceremonial occasions (such as Change of Command, and Military Parades).
  • At reveille and retreat ceremonies, during the raising or lowering of the flag.
  • During the sounding of honors.
  • When the Pledge of Allegiance to the U.S. flag is being recited outdoors.
  • When turning over control of formations.
  • When rendering reports.

 

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Perfect post, Jason! I love it and totally agree!!!!! 

I HATED dealing with "those" wives while on active duty! Now, as a spouse, I limit my time on base to emergencies only just so I won't have to deal with it.

And I knew guys that would salute the wife at the gate and their reasoning for it was: "so we won't have to put up with the bull$#!^ and b!^@#ing if we don't."

 

 

A few years back I attended a ceremony honoring my husband and others who were advancing in rank and towards the end, the master of ceremony ask all the spouses to come to the front. He gave a speech about how as spouses we help shoulder the burdens of our service members and how much we are appreciated. At the end of it we were given a pin that out rank our service members. Of course we all had a laugh but I don't think any one of us thought to lord it over our love ones.

I actually think that was a rather cute and funny idea to add some military humor to the day.  I'm going to guess that since it was the wedding of a colonel, not a general, and you said they were generals stars that were pinned on her dress, and one of the women that did this was a generals wife, she probably used her husbands pins... So it wasn't this colonel's new wife "wearing her husband's rank" it was the generals wife that grabbed her own husbands pin, with his permission too I'm sure, to use as a joke...

 

It would be something different if I stripped all the stripes/medals/pins off my hubby's blues and put them all on my purse or something and toted it around everywhere... I could easily see someone having a problem with that... but I think especially with the witty one liner wife out ranking the hubby joke going along with it, putting the pins/stars on the spouse at the wedding was purely just in fun and should not have been offensive...

 

 


@chinrse1234-- I absolutely loved your story about the commissary and definitely got a laugh out of it... And I also absolutely agreed with it!!!  That is not what I'm talking about though.  That IS doing the whole pulling rank thing to get special treatment, that I don't agree with at all and I would have done the exact same thing if I was in your position.  And no, nobody verbatim said wives should not be respected, but to me it was insinuated by people repeatedly saying things along the lines of wives didn't earn the rank and therefore just the military member should get any kind of different or special treatment/respect/perks such as the assigned parking spots or acknowledgement/greeting at the gates, and not the spouse because well... they didn't earn it, they don't deserve it... and to me, that's alittle degrading and demeaning to the military spouses and disrespectful... so no, nobody directly verbatim said military spouses should not be respected, but in an indirect way, from things that were said and the ways that they were said, that is how it comes off to me... that military wives dont deserve the same respect as our military members because we didnt earn it... maybe i took it completely the wrong way, but i see things like that said in many of the forum posts alot and it always irritates me!


Wow, when did we jump back through the decades to when the women slaved behind closed doors barefoot and pregnant then sat in the shadows to be not seen and not heard while the spouses took all the credit for the wonderful life they had, great family, and peaceful home???  Yikes!!!

 

All of this bullsh*t stomping wives down in the ground and saying that they don't even deserve to be greeted at the gates because they aren't the actual military members is alittle degrading quite honestly.  More than a few people have clearly stated that wives do not deserve ANY special acknowledgement, treatment, thank you, nothing... whether they have a high ranking spouse or not... Because THEY aren't the ones actually in the military, THEY aren't the ones actually serving our country, and therefore THEY do not deserve any special considerations... And I'm calling total and complete bullsh*t on that one...

 

There is a difference between spouses feeling "entitled" to some sort of pedestal treatment due to the fact of being either A.) a military wife in general, or B.) a wife of a high ranking military member...  That I don't agree with.  Flaunting spouses rank, feeling entitled to "special treatment" is one thing.  But I'm not going to sell myself short or make little of the hard work and sacrafice it takes on my part as a wife to be part of the military life.  For every bit of time, work, and effort my husband makes to serve his part in the military life, I put just as much of my own time, work, and effort in different ways to serve my part in the military life, only difference is that I don't get a paycheck for it!!!  Do I feel like because of that I am entitled to some super special treatment???  No, of course not...  But I do expect to be spoken to and treated with the same kind of respect as my husband, which really is how all people should be towards eachother, its nothing more than just basic common courtesy and human decency and the types of politeness your parents taught you when you were in elementary school.

 

I really get sick of wives not having enough balls to stand up for themselves and realize that they do deserve to be respected for what they do!!!  You are not just a housewife baby making machine with a "government owned" stamp on your forehead along for the ride with your military hubby.  If you want to be a martyr and make it all about your endless, thankless, sacrafice while you hide in the 1950's, then you will be miserable!  Truth is that military wives have a hard job... It is a never ending rollercoaster ride of a lifestyle, its all about constantly trying to adapt to a new location, to a new situation, a new deployment, you can never settle and get comfortable, your always on your toes, and most of the time you hold all of the responsibilities of your family, your finances, your marriage, everything, all in your hands... If things are good, its because of you... But if you are having financial problems, marital problems, etc, it also ends up falling back on you... It's stress... It takes a special person to be a military wife, and most of the time it is a thankless job.  So I don't think it is so much to ask or expect that a military wife be respected just the same as any military member.  I don't think it should be some huge deal if a wife uses her hubby's parking spot just because "omg, she doesn't deserve to park in his parking spot, she didn't earn that rank, her husband did!!!"  to me, that's just petty and stupid!  She may not have technically earned that rank, but my guess is that he would not have earned that rank if it wasn't for her help and support, so pretty much, yeah... I think she helped earn that rank just the same as he did!!! 

 




Quoted


 

@ RuthO.....I represent the Military???  But....you said I'm not in the Military and don't deserve to be saluted or have my beautiful butt kissed (yes, it is quite nice....I work out and don't eat twinkies! so, haha)  Have fun being sad all day....or maybe you could write another 3 or 4 paragraphs about this.  You make me wanna LOL the way you are going on and on about this....as if anybody really cares.  

 

Mrs.Bubblehead

Yes your not in the military, but as Wives, Husbands, Gf, Bf and Fiances when we are with our significant others or here on this bored we do represent them and since they are in the military that is part of it. Acting in a way to make them look like we are wearing their rank, I feel is an insult to them.

Coming onto a debate site and picking fights with other military significant others just because you want to throw your rank around is not only childish, but again it is an insult. It's just clearly disrespectful.  I did absolutely nothing to you and you have been going on for days about it. Let it go already. You know how I feel. I clearly know how your feel and I really don't care.

 I realize you are a person that like to antagonize and sometimes when a person gets on a computer all of the sudden they get the courage to say things they wouldn't normally say to someone in person, so I just see no reason to deal with you. The fact is we are getting go so off of Topic just because you want to play games, Enough already! I will not answer anymore.


 

 

Quoted


@Ruth O......you would so totally kiss my butt!  Not just because it is a great looking butt, but for the main reason that you are a complete follower and can't even bother to read what else I wrote.  So, pucker up (female dog)!  

 

 

Navy Wife

 

You have no idea who I am or what I would do. I am hardly a follower that would be you taking your husbands rank and thinking it is your own.

Not to mention actually thinking that you deserve any type  of accolades from your husbands hard work is ridiculous. You don't deserve a salute and no matter what your husbands rank, I see no reason why anyone should kiss your butt,the rank is not yours it is his  (yes of cours in your mind it is a great looking butt.) Athough in your mind you also deserve to  be saluted, and to have your a** kissed at all times. 

I would have to say the follower here is you for taking the credit  of your husbands hard work and then embarrassing yourself and him by saying on this site so blatantly that you deserve all of the same  accolades that your husband receives by being his wife. Your husband is the military member, you are still a civilian unless you signed on the line and are fighting with the troops.

As for calling me a B*** that to me just shows your maturity level, which to me is very sad, especially when you are representing the military.

 



Quoted

Obviously, they were joking.  However, I do outrank my husband at home and I wear it proudly!  Around here I'm the CHO, similar to the CNO....only I'm the Chief of Household Operations, and not the Navy!  /WorkArea/threadeddisc/emoticons/wink.png

 
Anyways, I do believe that it's fine for wives to wear their husband's rank.  I feel they have also earned it.  We are Force behind the Force after all.  I don't think my husband would have made it this far in his career if it weren't for my help at home.  Added stress at home always spills over into the work environment.  I deserve to be saluted at the gate just as much as my husband does.  The only difference between me and other wives who were their husband's rank is that I don't abuse my power.  I don't demand that you salute me, or bow down to me, or whatever.  If you don't salute me at the gate, I'm not going to stop my car and yell at you.  
 
Now, on the flip side, I can't stand the wives who kiss my butt thinking that because they are treating me like royalty, they will get special favors or their husbands will get glowing evals.  Just not gonna happen!  LOL  The only thing it will get, if you annoy me enough is me telling my husband how annoying you are!  hehehe
 
 
   You have got to be kidding me. You expect people to salute you? Are you in the military as well? If not why would anyone ever salute you know matter how high in rank your husband is? You are actually the type of person people are talking about when they say that wives abuse there husbands rank. No matter how much I do to make my boyfriends home life easier so he can focus on his career I would never expect anyone to salute me? Most of us wive's,husband's,GF and BF are civilians so we will never have rank nor should we embarrass our signifcant others by acting like we actually did all of there hard work.
  
   I am actually amazed that you really feel that way. I was waiting for you to say that you were joking. I don't know who would try and kiss your butt, but I can tell you this, I know for a fact that I would never be one of those poor isecure people.
 
   I help my boyfriend out as much as possible to make is career as easy as possible and he does the same for me, but neither of us feel so insecure that we need to take recognition for the others success.

 



Quoted

I think it is silly to say a servicemember (SM) wouldn't have gotten as far as they have without a spouse behind them for support. 

I am pretty sure there are loads of single SMs out there who have advanced significantly on their own and would agree with me. 

 

My husband supports me in my job as well, but he would never want to take credit for the things that I work my butt off for. Just as I would not want to wear his rank (even on my purse or whatnot) or be saluted at the gate. That would be me taking credit for something he has worked his butt off for. I am glad we each have our own vehicles and I don't need stickers because we don't live on base. 

 

Yes, we help our spouses emotionally and help them out at home. I guess a military spouse appreciation day is not enough for some people. They must feel like they are being constantly acknowledged for their spouse's success. Some people just want the world to feel like they are the only people who ever sacrifice anything and have other people thank them for it. It is the same type of thing in the civilian world, but sometimes a military spouse can forget we are not even close to the only ones who make sacrifices. We have it so easy compared to some!


"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
-Eleanor Roosevelt

The Sunflower Love

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Nanu

I have always loved that Quote by Eleanor Roosevelt

 

I agree with with all you said.

 Shocking and in very poor taste. Wives of senior officers who behave as these ladies did are deplorable and represent everything that I despise, having swell heads and feeling priviledged. We are all spouses and do not at any time wear our husband's ranks on our sleeves. My husband is a retired Navy Captain. For 24 years, I chose to support him and his career, our family and the families of those under his command, particularly during times of deployment. That gate guard salute is not meant for the spouse (though some think they are entitled to it). It shows respect for the service member. The simple "Have a nice day, Ma'am" is mean't for you.

@ RuthO.....I represent the Military???  But....you said I'm not in the Military and don't deserve to be saluted or have my beautiful butt kissed (yes, it is quite nice....I work out and don't eat twinkies! so, haha)  Have fun being sad all day....or maybe you could write another 3 or 4 paragraphs about this.  You make me wanna LOL the way you are going on and on about this....as if anybody really cares.   



Quoted

LMAO!!!!!!  Maybe you should take your own advice!  RuthO....you have WAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY too much time on your hands.  I bet you sit around all day long blogging and preparing speeches for this site, such as the long rant you just went on.  I think it's hysterical and amusing!  LOL  In my down time I sure get a kick out of hearing you get all in a tizzy over nothing.  How flippin' funny!  Thank you for amusing me this morning while I take a break from running errands.  Oh, and from now on, please address me as "Admiral."  Thank you...

 

Quoted

 

 

Mrs.Bubblehead

...Maybe next time you should read all the posts before attacking me without haveing all the facts .

@RuthO....since you have so much time on your hands....why don't you scroll back through the posts and read what I wrote a while back.  Make sure you read BOTH posts this time, not just the one that set you off on a tangent here, or the ones where I have been attacking you back.  I'm not picking random fights....you attacked me first and I am defending myself.  You just don't like the way in which I am defending myself.  Mostly I am being sarcastic, which clearly you just don't get.  Everything else has been purely for enjoyment, because it is so much fun watching you get all in a tizzy over nothing.   I really don't care either way whether you like me or dislike me.  But, get your facts straight and your posts straight, before you start throwing stones at people.  
 

Quoted




Quoted


 

@ RuthO.....I represent the Military???  But....you said I'm not in the Military and don't deserve to be saluted or have my beautiful butt kissed (yes, it is quite nice....I work out and don't eat twinkies! so, haha)  Have fun being sad all day....or maybe you could write another 3 or 4 paragraphs about this.  You make me wanna LOL the way you are going on and on about this....as if anybody really cares.  

 

Mrs.Bubblehead

Yes your not in the military, but as Wives, Husbands, Gf, Bf and Fiances when we are with our significant others or here on this bored we do represent them and since they are in the military that is part of it. Acting in a way to make them look like we are wearing their rank, I feel is an insult to them.

Coming onto a debate site and picking fights with other military significant others just because you want to throw your rank around is not only childish, but again it is an insult. It's just clearly disrespectful.  I did absolutely nothing to you and you have been going on for days about it. Let it go already. You know how I feel. I clearly know how your feel and I really don't care.

 I realize you are a person that like to antagonize and sometimes when a person gets on a computer all of the sudden they get the courage to say things they wouldn't normally say to someone in person, so I just see no reason to deal with you. The fact is we are getting go so off of Topic just because you want to play games, Enough already! I will not answer anymore.

@Ruth O......you would so totally kiss my butt!  Not just because it is a great looking butt, but for the main reason that you are a complete follower and can't even bother to read what else I wrote.  So, pucker up (female dog)!  

melleecamp wrote:

NavyWife, you will never be able to convince me that it's ok to wear my husband's rank.  You and I apparently approach our roles as military spouses differently.  What I have been doing the past 23 years as a military spouse has been working for me and I don't see any reason to change it.


Mel. "Life...it is what it is. Suck it up, deal with it and move on."

And you (nor anybody else) will never convince me that what I've been doing is wrong.  So, get over it already.  We work as a team....my husband's ok with it....and I will proudly accept my salute at the front gate each time, while you drive by ashamed and uncomfortable.  


Enough said on this....I'm done arguing my point.  Anybody else who wants to bash my opinion and needs further explanation, can read previous posts.

melleecamp wrote:

I have been mistakenly referred to with my husband's rank, even after they have seen my dependent ID, and it makes me uncomfortable every time.  I asked my husband several times why the gate guards don't know the difference between a dependent ID and an active duty ID.


Mel. "Life...it is what it is. Suck it up, deal with it and move on."

Because it's not a mistake....they do it out of respect.  They realize, even when you don't, how much you have helped and contributed to your husband making rank. 

/WorkArea/threadeddisc/emoticons/wink.png  You should accept it and stop feeling uncomfortable about it.  You've earned it!

Maybe it's different in other branches, but in the Navy we wives are always commended for doing such a great job.  We're told by our command (yes, OUR) that our husband's wouldn't be as successful as they are if it weren't for us.  And of course, I'm sure commands vary within the Navy as well.  My husband has always been on Subs, so it is a very close-knit, unique community of people.  Our commands have always been extremely family friendly.  When my husband re-enlists, I also get a certificate.  I went to a re-enlistment ceremony a few days ago and our command even gave the kids certificates and told them how important they were to their dad's success.  So, I am not sure if any of you get to experience this at the same level as we do, but  maybe this is the reason for the HUGE differences in opinion here.  

As for my husband, he agrees with me.  We are a team.  He knows that I have contributed to his successes in his career, just as he has contributed to my successes in my career....even carrying our 3 children!  He helped through all 3 pregnancies and deliveries, and caring for them after....why shouldn't he share in the credit?  
I told him the story of the FRG President wearing the shirt to the meeting (somebody had posted earlier) and he thought that was so cute.  He now wants to get me a similar shirt!  LOL  All of the men I know are perfectly fine with their wives wearing their rank....a lot of them want their wives to flaunt it.  Maybe it's a status thing, I don't know.  But my point here is that if your husbands don't care, why should you?  

North Shore wrote:
I wonder what rules they give the guys at the gates. I'm at Great Lakes, and every time I drive through, they look at my little pink ID, and still salute. I wonder if they are instructed to salute every officer's car or something.

Yes they are looking at your sticker on your car...or your Military ID.  


@ JasonR....yeah, I guess I did!  LOL  Hmm, maybe "deserve" wasn't the best choice of words.  Honestly, I don't expect it when I go through the gate, and I don't demand it (as I said earlier), but it is nice to get and I feel as though I have earned it in my own way (or helped my hubby earn it).  Does that make sense?  If it doesn't, then I'm sorry; I guess I'm just not expressing it right....but that's the way I feel.  I can't think of another way to explain it.  I think Lynn made a good point a few posts back, when she said that perhaps we're looking more for appreciation.  It's nice to get that feeling of appreciation from others who know that you have worked  very hard holding down the fort while your husband's gone on deployment.  Anyways, that's basically what I meant.  


Felicia wrote:
NavyWife1994 wrote:

Obviously, they were joking.  However, I do outrank my husband at home and I wear it proudly!  Around here I'm the CHO, similar to the CNO....only I'm the Chief of Household Operations, and not the Navy!  /WorkArea/threadeddisc/emoticons/wink.png


Anyways, I do believe that it's fine for wives to wear their husband's rank.  I feel they have also earned it.  We are Force behind the Force after all.  I don't think my husband would have made it this far in his career if it weren't for my help at home.  Added stress at home always spills over into the work environment.  I deserve to be saluted at the gate just as much as my husband does.  The only difference between me and other wives who were their husband's rank is that I don't abuse my power.  I don't demand that you salute me, or bow down to me, or whatever.  If you don't salute me at the gate, I'm not going to stop my car and yell at you.  

Now, on the flip side, I can't stand the wives who kiss my butt thinking that because they are treating me like royalty, they will get special favors or their husbands will get glowing evals.  Just not gonna happen!  LOL  The only thing it will get, if you annoy me enough is me telling my husband how annoying you are!  hehehe


I don't think you earn your husbands rank. You hold the house down that's your job. No rank. Husbands do their job where they get rank. I see what you are trying to say but what we do in no way makes us justified in saying we earn the rank as well. I have talked to my husband about stuff he has done over seas and what he has seen since he has been in. I was in tears. I am sorry but he is the one and only gunny in this house. He earned everything he has. I had no part in his awesomeness. That's just how I feel. 

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Eleanor Roosevelt,


Then you've just never met the unsupportive wife whose husband didn't make rank because he was having to deal with the pressures of home life, because she wasn't doing it.  You aren't giving yourself enough credit at all.  Even the Military recognizes us wives for doing our part.  They know how important we are for our husband's successes.  So, if your husband has made rank over the years you've been with him....you should be giving yourself a pat on the back and celebrating....and not feeling ashamed to "wear your husband's rank."  I am not saying to flaunt it....but at least be proud of it and acknowledge that you DID have a lot to do with it.   

KsindelNavywife wrote:
[ektdesignns_placeholder_ID0EI]

That's the most hilarious thing I've heard in a long time!  LOL  Wish you had a picture to go with the story!  
/WorkArea/threadeddisc/emoticons/biggrin.png

Obviously, they were joking.  However, I do outrank my husband at home and I wear it proudly!  Around here I'm the CHO, similar to the CNO....only I'm the Chief of Household Operations, and not the Navy!  /WorkArea/threadeddisc/emoticons/wink.png


Anyways, I do believe that it's fine for wives to wear their husband's rank.  I feel they have also earned it.  We are Force behind the Force after all.  I don't think my husband would have made it this far in his career if it weren't for my help at home.  Added stress at home always spills over into the work environment.  I deserve to be saluted at the gate just as much as my husband does.  The only difference between me and other wives who were their husband's rank is that I don't abuse my power.  I don't demand that you salute me, or bow down to me, or whatever.  If you don't salute me at the gate, I'm not going to stop my car and yell at you.  

Now, on the flip side, I can't stand the wives who kiss my butt thinking that because they are treating me like royalty, they will get special favors or their husbands will get glowing evals.  Just not gonna happen!  LOL  The only thing it will get, if you annoy me enough is me telling my husband how annoying you are!  hehehe

NavyWife1994 wrote:

@ JasonR....yeah, I guess I did!  LOL  Hmm, maybe "deserve" wasn't the best choice of words.  Honestly, I don't expect it when I go through the gate, and I don't demand it (as I said earlier), but it is nice to get and I feel as though I have earned it in my own way (or helped my hubby earn it).  Does that make sense?  If it doesn't, then I'm sorry; I guess I'm just not expressing it right....but that's the way I feel.  I can't think of another way to explain it.  I think Lynn made a good point a few posts back, when she said that perhaps we're looking more for appreciation.  It's nice to get that feeling of appreciation from others who know that you have worked  very hard holding down the fort while your husband's gone on deployment.  Anyways, that's basically what I meant.  


No way am I shamed. I was just saying that I am not going to take credit for something I personally did not not do. I could not do it. Kinda of like my husband taking credit for carrying the kids in his belly, dealing with all the pregnancy issues and giving birth without the epidural. Make sense? He said that he appreciates my part and how hard it was for me but he could never take credit for it. That's the only way I can describe it. My struggles and his struggles differ. But we support each other in our own way. That's all. Plain and simple. As far as appreciation some of the best jobs in the world do not get appreciated. But that's what makes the people who do them so awesome. If you are doing something to get appreciation then that's what you need. As a wife I don't need that or want it. I am grateful for my family and that my husband is alive and doing something I have great respect for. I think the pinning the wives and awarding them pretty cool and special though. Not needed but great that someone thought to do it. Love and devotion are given not to get in return but because we know the person deserves it. 


No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Eleanor Roosevelt,

NavyWife1994 wrote:

Obviously, they were joking.  However, I do outrank my husband at home and I wear it proudly!  Around here I'm the CHO, similar to the CNO....only I'm the Chief of Household Operations, and not the Navy!  /WorkArea/threadeddisc/emoticons/wink.png


Anyways, I do believe that it's fine for wives to wear their husband's rank.  I feel they have also earned it.  We are Force behind the Force after all.  I don't think my husband would have made it this far in his career if it weren't for my help at home.  Added stress at home always spills over into the work environment.  I deserve to be saluted at the gate just as much as my husband does.  The only difference between me and other wives who were their husband's rank is that I don't abuse my power.  I don't demand that you salute me, or bow down to me, or whatever.  If you don't salute me at the gate, I'm not going to stop my car and yell at you.  

Now, on the flip side, I can't stand the wives who kiss my butt thinking that because they are treating me like royalty, they will get special favors or their husbands will get glowing evals.  Just not gonna happen!  LOL  The only thing it will get, if you annoy me enough is me telling my husband how annoying you are!  hehehe


I don't think you earn your husbands rank. You hold the house down that's your job. No rank. Husbands do their job where they get rank. I see what you are trying to say but what we do in no way makes us justified in saying we earn the rank as well. I have talked to my husband about stuff he has done over seas and what he has seen since he has been in. I was in tears. I am sorry but he is the one and only gunny in this house. He earned everything he has. I had no part in his awesomeness. That's just how I feel. 

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Eleanor Roosevelt,

This was a very cute joke. To all those who say this was done in poor taste? Perhaps you do not have a sense of humor or have not been to a good wedding in awhile. I don't think this is any worse than some of the toasts, which are normally funny, witty and embarrassing. Listening to your husbands very drunken best-friend of 15 years give a toast to his best-friend, as an example! My husband and I may be equally important to one another but when it comes to certain things, we do outrank each other. He earns all of the money and therefore has final say in all financial matters. I am perfectly content with that! I do all the chores around the house and cook... so when it comes to what's for dinner and what time dinner is going to be, I have the only say! As for women who wears their husbands rank, is it right? No. But I will tell you now that I would show the utmost respect for a any wife of any of my husbands superiors! (I show respect for everyone, but with these women I am especially careful of my demeanor.) How you behave directly reflects on your spouse, whether it should or not. And if I asdfjkl; off my husbands Commander's wife, chances are my husbands Commander is not going to have my husband on his nice list. As for personal opinion, I do not see women who wear their husbands stripes to be any better or worse than the wives of a famous ball player. Yes, compare, they both flaunt and make it sound as though they personally made the achievement. They may not have done it personally, but at the end of the day they are still who they are and they still have a tough life and still deserve support and respect. Many times, these women may simply feel down about themselves for not achieving what THEY wanted because they instead did what they were asked to do or what they felt was best to support their husbands, therefore compensate it with being overly proud of who their husbands have become.

 

I agree with the others that this was probably just a joke. Perhaps tasteless to do at the wedding. I have seen quite a few spouses wearing their husbands rank though. How about a Colonel's wife wearing her hubby's rank on her ACU purse? Complete with the jump wings her husband earned before they were even married (he earned those during his previous marriage). Although she constantly "says"she doesn't wear her husbands rank,she "literally"is. Also, she has no issue reminding other spouses that her husband is the Brigade Commander. This in my opinion is a poor representation of a military spouse.

/WorkArea/threadeddisc/emoticons/angry.png

 Blessed are we to even joke of these things! I am a military spouse that has seen 23 years of such playful antics! When done in fun, these little jokes are quite entertaining.  I do not find it necessary or entertaining however for anyone not currently serving to role play there spouses rank in public. It can be more harmful than good in most cases! We all have the responsibilities that come with each step of our spouses career, but let us not forget who got us there! 

image

OMG when I first read the title "spouses wearing rank" I was about to burst thinking it was going to be about a spouse actually sporting her hub's rank at the PX or something LOL whew!


Even I have said to my hubby "dont confuse your rank with my authority" ;p We laugh about it but I would bet the pinning on the bride was a joke. and yeah, I would have been a bit concerned about something pinned on my dress too LOL

PS... I am so glad I'm not the only one who thinks those damn bags are ridiculous. I like the "function" of a few of the styles but having acu/bdu cloth, rank and soldier names on them = nope!



wedding website

It was all good fun. My husband, my sister and I joke around all the time like that. If you can't make fun of the military life a little bit then how would anybody ever deal with being married to the military?? If your concerned about women not earning their rank we go through the same things they do maybe on the other side but we still do. They get deployed we deal with not hearing from our soldiers for a while and keeping everything going here. In my opinion we earn our rank the same as they do (even if it ain't official)

 I, too, am a veteran.  My husband and I were commissioned the same time so we were (and still are) equals in every sense.  Now I am a stay at home mom and we joke around that he may be the captain but I am the commodore.  Its strictly a joke because we both respect each other and work as a team.  He has since surpassed my "old" rank.  I would never wear any of his insignia.  I see many wives wearing warfare pins/jewelry.  Its sweet but I am much more proud of having earned my own.  I also have a big problem with senior members' wives inserting themselves into a leadership role because of their spouse's rank.  There are a lot of responsibilities that come with being the spouse of a senior member but that doesn't give you "rank/authority" over other spouses.  Unless you took the Oath and signed the contract, you are not in the military.  Many of the older spouses have more experience and have gained knowledge over the years, therefore, they should be expected to help out the younger spouses.  If you recently married a general then you really should not be offering advice or taking a leadership role. 

When I was a younger spouse I was also active duty.  I had no intention of attending a pre-deployment brief or etiquette classes.  I went through that as a member.  I think some spouses thought I was snobby because of it.  I still get insinuations made when I don't attend certain "educational" functions. 

I have 2 daughters and one on the way.  They know I was in the Navy.  They know they have that option as well.  Wearing the rank that someone else has earned is not the kind of message I want to send them.  Just like he would never take credit for birthing my children!  

Hang on a minute there NavyWife1994...  Did you actually say "I DESERVE TO BE SALUTED at the gate just as much as my husband does."  All caps added by me to illustrate the entitlement mentality.

You are (and please tell me if I'm mistaken here) a SPOUSE of someone in the military.  As the SPOUSE of someone if the military YOU ARE NOT DESERVING OF A SALUTE FROM ANYONE!!!  And that coy remark about "not abusing your power"...  Hang on, I think I threw up a little in my mouth...  That's just disgusting.

Here's a link for you about salutes in the military...  http://usmilitary.about.com/cs/generalinfo/a/salute.htm  Please feel free to read it and educate yourself before EVER saying you DESERVE any type of military honor.  And in case you don't feel like clicking and learning, here's the snippet that concerns:

Persons Entitled to a Salute

  • The President of the United States (Commander-in-Chief)
  • Commissioned Officers and Warrant Officers
  • Any Medal of Honor Recipient
  • Officers of Friendly Foreign Countries

A salute is also rendered

  • When the United States National Anthem, "To the Color," "Hail to the Chief," or foreign national anthems are played.
  • To uncased National Color outdoors.
  • On ceremonial occasions (such as Change of Command, and Military Parades).
  • At reveille and retreat ceremonies, during the raising or lowering of the flag.
  • During the sounding of honors.
  • When the Pledge of Allegiance to the U.S. flag is being recited outdoors.
  • When turning over control of formations.
  • When rendering reports.

Hang on a minute there NavyWife1994...  Did you actually say "I DESERVE TO BE SALUTED at the gate just as much as my husband does."  All caps added by me to illustrate the entitlement mentality.

You are (and please tell me if I'm mistaken here) a SPOUSE of someone in the military.  As the SPOUSE of someone if the military YOU ARE NOT DESERVING OF A SALUTE FROM ANYONE!!!  And that coy remark about "not abusing your power"...  Hang on, I think I threw up a little in my mouth...  That's just disgusting.

Here's a link for you about salutes in the military...  http://usmilitary.about.com/cs/generalinfo/a/salute.htm  Please feel free to read it and educate yourself before EVER saying you DESERVE any type of military honor.  And in case you don't feel like clicking and learning, here's the snippet that concerns:

Persons Entitled to a Salute

  • The President of the United States (Commander-in-Chief)
  • Commissioned Officers and Warrant Officers
  • Any Medal of Honor Recipient
  • Officers of Friendly Foreign Countries

A salute is also rendered

  • When the United States National Anthem, "To the Color," "Hail to the Chief," or foreign national anthems are played.
  • To uncased National Color outdoors.
  • On ceremonial occasions (such as Change of Command, and Military Parades).
  • At reveille and retreat ceremonies, during the raising or lowering of the flag.
  • During the sounding of honors.
  • When the Pledge of Allegiance to the U.S. flag is being recited outdoors.
  • When turning over control of formations.
  • When rendering reports.

I think it is silly to say a servicemember (SM) wouldn't have gotten as far as they have without a spouse behind them for support. 

I am pretty sure there are loads of single SMs out there who have advanced significantly on their own and would agree with me. 


My husband supports me in my job as well, but he would never want to take credit for the things that I work my butt off for. Just as I would not want to wear his rank (even on my purse or whatnot) or be saluted at the gate. That would be me taking credit for something he has worked his butt off for. I am glad we each have our own vehicles and I don't need stickers because we don't live on base. 


Yes, we help our spouses emotionally and help them out at home. I guess a military spouse appreciation day is not enough for some people. They must feel like they are being constantly acknowledged for their spouse's success. Some people just want the world to feel like they are the only people who ever sacrifice anything and have other people thank them for it. It is the same type of thing in the civilian world, but sometimes a military spouse can forget we are not even close to the only ones who make sacrifices. We have it so easy compared to some!


"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
-Eleanor Roosevelt

The Sunflower Love

Daisypath Anniversary tickers

I'm a little shocked to for a few reasons. First of all, a person in the armed forces wears a certain rank because they earned that rank. It's not something that should just be pinned on and given meaning to for basically no reason whatsoever.<br><br>Secondly, a marriage is supposed to be about two people becoming one. In my book, that means they are equals. There should not be any "outranking" in a marriage. It's about give and take on both sides and should never be a one way street.<br><br> I feel bad for this poor bride if she truly was surprised by the pinning of the rank.


"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
-Eleanor Roosevelt

Daisypath Anniversary tickers

Joke!! I know that long ago when my hubby made Chief his Master Chief pulled all of the selectee's wives in for a meeting and told us all that "they" may be the chief but we will always be the Admiral.............Also said in jest. I also agree that there are women that try to wear their husbands rank. I will also say that I imagine that some of the people at the wedding were possibly offended because she was "new". Many of them probably have been married to their spouses for much of their career and feel more "entitled" to their husbands rank! Not right but just a thought.............

Oh and I meant the thing at the wedding was a joke not the post, just in case someone takes that wrong..........

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 After spending 18+ years w/my spouse in the service and dealing with many of the spouses club's  I can tell you that far to many wifes do feel that what ever rank there spouse has Earned, they too have that rank. A joke at a wedding?? Could have been!! But a very sad state of affairs "IF" some or many their felt that way. My husband and I go to local service meetings very often now... and I'm happy to say None of the wifes try to carry the rank their spouse had while on active duty. And after all don't we all know that when it comes to the home, we out rank them all?

 

Kuddos to what Robin said on 10/20. Even that salute at the gate belongs to the service member only. While we support our spouses and their careers, they are the ones risking their lives and doing the job each and every day. I think it takes a special person to do what we do, but it is the service member that deserves the salute and the respect of the collar device. They wear the uniform, not us.

 


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I agree, it definitely sounds like a joke. Now if she was toting around one of those horrible purses that have their husband's rank on them...then I would have something to say about that. 


 
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