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First Time PCS (Very Scared)

My fiance and I are getting married in a few months and we just found out we are moving just shortly after that. And I have never done this before. I'm so nervous and scared. He is used to it because he grew up in the military and this is like his 4th move in his military career but I've never been around militarty before and my family (especially my mom) is not used to me being away from home. We are supposed to tell my family this weekend about the move and it is very very far away from them. My mom is going to cry and be so devistated because I have never been away from home. My fiance doesnt understand because he is so used to this and he acts like he doesnt act to supportive of my feelings right now. I thinkk he is nervous too and he doesnt know how to show it. We will be newlyweds and moving thousands of miles away all at the same time. I'm so scared and frustrated that I just want to cry. I would not have a problem moving except for the fact of hurting my mother. Its going to crush her. I feel so bad and if I try talking to him about it he just says "well my parents wont care and she'll just have to deal with it". I know that but I just wish he was more understanding of how scared I am. Any words of wisdom would be very appreciated right now. I'm feeling like I cant even enjoy my engagement and wedding because I know what is coming immediately afterwards. This move. I dont know how to cope with this.


I went through something very similar.  Dh and I moved to Guam two months after we got married.  It was a little nerve racking, and over whelming.  My family was not happy either about me moving, and so far away at that.  They did get used to the idea, but I had to let them know I was sure of my decision.  It does take some time to adjust, and it can be hard.  Dh has deployed twice since we've been here and I stayed put.  Just remember that you are your finace' are starting a new life together, and this is part of it.  It does get easier, you just have to go with the flow, and enjoy the new adventure you are getting ready to go on!


Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! Moving shortly after has to be stressful. In regards to your family, I would suggest giving the information to them gently, but with an attitude of the "opportunity" you two are getting. Reassure your mom, and other family members, that this is just a move in location, not heartfelt feelings. It's the first, but it won't be the last. I'd suggest Skype for all of you. It's wonderful to be able to chat with family members and see them at the same time. It takes a lot of the sting out of being so far away. What I think is important is how you present the information. If you present it with tears, and as if it's the end of the world, they're going to follow your lead. If you present it as if you're starting off on your own life journey with your new husband, and that you are excited about it (even if you aren't) then that's going to help them deal with it. Your mom will probably still cry, but it's important for you to be strong. It's not a death in the family, it's a change in location. Again: SKYPE.

Now, my advice for the move itself: baggies. Put everything (anything that could possibly leak) in your carryons and checked luggage in baggies. Also, take a set of sheets. If you don't need them, great, but it you do you'll be glad you have them. When the movers are at your house they will pack everything, and I mean everything. If you have a junk drawer full of things you plan on throwing away... they're simply going to pack it. So, do a "spring" cleaning to make it easier on yourself when it comes time to unpack in your new location.


Good luck with everything, and try to have some fun with it all. It sounds as if you haven't done a lot of traveling, so try to look at it as a fantastic opportunity to explore. Grab a book or two about the area you're moving to, and make some plans to do things that seem new and interesting in that area.

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