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i think he is using deployment as a excuse...so confused

Saw this post yesterday but waited to respond until I double-checked some things with my dh.  Please do not be worried about your hubby when you don't hear from him or be upset when he doesn't reply back but you somehow know he's seen an email or FB post/message.  Several factors could be keeping him from replying.  First, the military often shuts down all communication for a variety of reasons, not just because something bad has happened.  Sometimes they shut down because some famous person is showing up or it's just part of some exercise they're doing.  As for him not replying when he does have internet access, it could be that his time on the computer ran out before he got a chance to reply.  Computer access is limited over there since they all have to share a few computers at a computer center.  When my dh was over there, the computer center had a 30-minute time limit; and as you know, 30 minutes on the computer will disappear faster than you realize!  And if the line is long to get a computer, they sometimes just give up on trying to get in or just can't wait any longer because they've got to return to work, etc.  Just remember how long our mothers and grandmothers had to wait before they heard from their servicemembers...and then be forever grateful that you even have the chance to hear his voice or get a quick reply back.  Show that gratitude by keeping every phone call or email/FB message as positive as you can.  I'm here to help.

I would say don't worry, my husband had this happen and it didn't show up in the news for awhile. They have protocol that they have to use, and really he shouldn't be telling you anything before it's released. One time I didn't hear from mine for over a month and found out it's because they cut off all communication. Nothing going in and nothing going out. Just calm down!
 

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i havent heard from my dh in almost a week and a half, and he finally sends me a message saying that he was deployed to iraq becuase two jets were taken down in Al Udeid and thats why he hasnt been returning my calls or messages, and to watch the CNN news to keep up with everything.  I have checked websites and etc to find information and the only information i found stated that this event took place in maybe 2008 or so. the news isnt saying anything. i'm very confused and nothing he saying is making sense to me.I hope it just me..if not plz tell if anybody has heard this too..

 

thanks

Is your husband on a ship or in another country? I doubt he is doing anything wrong, my husband worried about me most of the time. They are dealing with more than you will ever know. I cried everyday when he didn't email or call, but I'm sure if your husband called you after a week he was thinking about you.
 

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Thanks so much. I'm  new to deployments and I don't always understand it. It makes my nerves bad and I worry to much, but again thanks so much.

The first deployment is always the hardest, I recommend to find a hobby and e-mail him pictures even if he doesn't email back for awhile just so when he finally gets them he knows you were thinking of him. I e-mailed my husband daily even if it was just an "I love you" or a recap of my day I always kept it positive though. Even when I was under extreme stress from work and daily hastles I never let him know but I told him it wasn't the same without him. When he got home I told him how stressful it was he said he knew.
 

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Is your husband on a ship or in another country? I doubt he is doing anything wrong, my husband worried about me most of the time. They are dealing with more than you will ever know. I cried everyday when he didn't email or call, but I'm sure if your husband called you after a week he was thinking about you.
 

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Thanks so much. I'm  new to deployments and I don't always understand it. It makes my nerves bad and I worry to much, but again thanks so much.

The news doesn't report as much as they used to report so I wouldn't rely on it not being on the news.  

How can you be sure that he has read the messages sent on Facebook if he doesn't reply?  Also he might not have the time to reply when he reads them but forgets or gets busy with other things and that is why he doesn't reply.

Keep emailing and sending positive messages.  You don't have to paint your life as a bed of roses but if you are faced with a challenge then solve it and once it is solved let him know what you did.  Also don't nag him about responding to you because access to computers can be very limited in certain areas and also if they have shut down communication for any reason you won't hear from him.  

It is normal to have some feelings of separation on both sides.  Please google "Cycles of Deployment" or "Spirals of Deployment" to help you understand how much of this is actually quite normal.

Kathy

i havent heard from my dh in almost a week and a half, and he finally sends me a message saying that he was deployed to iraq becuase two jets were taken down in Al Udeid and thats why he hasnt been returning my calls or messages, and to watch the CNN news to keep up with everything.  I have checked websites and etc to find information and the only information i found stated that this event took place in maybe 2008 or so. the news isnt saying anything. i'm very confused and nothing he saying is making sense to me.I hope it just me..if not plz tell if anybody has heard this too..

 

thanks

Thanks so much. I'm  new to deployments and I don't always understand it. It makes my nerves bad and I worry to much, but again thanks so much.


He told me he was in Iraq..and yes it is hard because I'll send him messages on Facebook and he'll read them and not response. It just feels like he is avoiding me on purpose as if he is distancing himself from me.i also know he and all the others are dealing with a lot, ok more than I'll ever know but I still worry and think about him daily .and my family is always asking about him and all I can tell them is the last time I heard from him he was fine. Which was maybe may 7th  so I should continue sending messages even though he doesn't always reply?  

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Is your husband on a ship or in another country? I doubt he is doing anything wrong, my husband worried about me most of the time. They are dealing with more than you will ever know. I cried everyday when he didn't email or call, but I'm sure if your husband called you after a week he was thinking about you.
 

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Thanks so much. I'm  new to deployments and I don't always understand it. It makes my nerves bad and I worry to much, but again thanks so much.


Ok I will google what you told me. Also I know he read them because it send a confirmation that the message has been seen or read. I guess my nerves are just extremely bad right now because he has enough time to play games on Facebook but not enough time to just let me know he is ok. But I will continue to send messages and email..thanks Kathy this really helps 

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The news doesn't report as much as they used to report so I wouldn't rely on it not being on the news.  

How can you be sure that he has read the messages sent on Facebook if he doesn't reply?  Also he might not have the time to reply when he reads them but forgets or gets busy with other things and that is why he doesn't reply.

Keep emailing and sending positive messages.  You don't have to paint your life as a bed of roses but if you are faced with a challenge then solve it and once it is solved let him know what you did.  Also don't nag him about responding to you because access to computers can be very limited in certain areas and also if they have shut down communication for any reason you won't hear from him.  

It is normal to have some feelings of separation on both sides.  Please google "Cycles of Deployment" or "Spirals of Deployment" to help you understand how much of this is actually quite normal.

Kathy

 
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