He wants to deploy again...and yet he's still overseas on active duty!!
Hi everyone! I need some advice! If this gets long, I apologize in advance. My fiancee is currently deployed on active duty overseas in Afghanistan. We "talk" as much as we can via e-mail, skype, but, if any of you know, the internet connection sucks! Right now I am currently a stay-at-ahome mom with our 3 month old son and my 13 yr old daughter (previous relationship) My H2B wants me to stay home with our son so that I do not have to put him in daycare (he doesnt trust strangers with his first born son) and so that I can go back to school and further my education and get my Associates Degree in Respiratory Therapy. On one hand, I am very greatful for him to allow me to do this for our future, to stay home with my son knowing he is safe and in good hands.
Here's the deal...this is my 1st deployment, especially with a newborn, and while I am not working, he is able to pay the majority of the bills. Rent, utilities, etc; (he is an E6) all I have to provide is food and the nessesities we need here at home. He also sends me some money each month to help out with whatever we may need here. We were talking the other night via e-mail and he asked me if I would be angry if he decided to deploy again. I asked him how soon after he comes home (He is due home at the end of the year) he said most likely that following summer/fall (2013). Our courtship was a whirlwind and while we did move quickly, fall in love, and got pregnant, I haven't had a chance to spend a full year with him. I love him tremendously and we both agree that we "saved eachother from a path of destruction" his arguement is if I plan on gooing back to school, being active helps us out more finacially until i graduate and can start working again making decent money. I mean, logically it sounds like the right thing to do, but also he is already missing out on the firsts in our sons life. Yes I send him pictures and videos of our son's firsts (he is already eating 1st stage baby food and loves sweet peas!!) I dont want him to continue missing out on the rest of his firsts! Though at the same time, it works out well for us to survive.
I guess what I am trying to say is, am I being selfish in wanting him to stay home with us, where he would have to either find a better paying civialin job or work 2 jobs to pick up the slack I am not taking in working because i am going to school and continue to miss out on our sons firsts? Or would it also be neglectful to our son and my daughter (she had grown very attached to him, even calls him her "dad") to have him deploy so soon after he comes back home in order to be able to help us survive in this economy while I am not working, staying home with our son and going to school?
I want to support his decisions but I also want to spend more time with him but we also dont want to get thrown out on the streets or have some whacko person take care of our son (believe me I say whacko with all seriousness because the city we live in isn't all that great and is occupied by a lot of nontrustworthy people)
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