Am I being crazy?
No you are NOT being crazy. It is normal and necessary to have healthy boundries in your relationship. You have expressed those boundries and he is not respecting them...thus not respecting you. I agree that you two need counseling so he can learn to respect them and understand why. Good luck.
No way are you being crazy!! When my now husband and I first began dating, a girl that he'd been friends with in college was incredibly clingy to him and it made me very uncomfortable. She even went as far as to post on his facebook that she couldnt believe that he was in Texas for Thanksgiving rather than back home in Orlando with her. Did I mention that we'd just gotten engaged one month prior? SHe continued with this behavior until my husband laid it out for her and said she wouldnt be invited to the wedding and that he wanted nothing to do with her. We havent heard one peep from her since then, and that was over 2 years ago.
I definitely feel that married men and women can be friends with people of the opposite gender. But, when you're in a marriage, youve committed to share your life with your spouse, and that means every aspect - so the dishonesty is just unacceptable. Also, the fact that these women make rude comments about you is ridiculous. He should stand up for you and tell them to be respectful or step off..
Stay strong and stick up for yourself. You sound like a strong woman since you were able to stick to your guns about his prior friendships. As soon as he realizes that you are confident that, as a human being, you deserve better treatment and demand nothing less, will he stop taking you for granted.
My husband and I have been together for almost 7 years, have been through deployments, have 2 young children, and recently moved across the country to a new command. Recently he started communicating again with a girl he knew in boot camp, we met at graduation, and I knew she was attracted to him even then. I never liked her or most all the girls he chooses to have long term friendships with because he always seems to find the girls that flirt, dont care about married men's boundries, and enjoy trashing me to him. He has never stood up for me with these girls, if anything has protected them saying they are just joking around. It always seems to get to the point of I have to threath that it is either his family or these girls. In the past 2 situation, he choose us but I still had to step in and say something to the girl because he wont . I am tired of threatening him with this and am truly afraid that one of these times, he is going to choose them. I understand everyone needs a friend and he is such an antisocial person that has zero friends. So when he connects with these girls, he hides it from me, lies to me at times, and allows the conversations that they have to occur. There have been the girl that told him I am the worst person ever and he should leave me, this is right after we found out we were pregnant the first time and she was living with us (dont even get me started on that shitty situation). The other girl would drunk text and call and they would exchange unapproiate comments and she would send him pictures, both on her own and with him "jokingly requesting". Are you f***ing serious?! This one is telling him on facebook that he should change his profile pic to a pic of just him and not of him with our son.
Last night was a final straw for me. He promised me the night before that he wont talk to her on the phone because he knows how it bothers me. Less than 24 hours later, I am on the couch while he spends over an hour talking to her on the phone, just because SHE calling. Last night was also the first time EVER that he slept on the couch because I was tired and upset of this crap. We have always had the agreement of not fighting before bed and not sleeping on the couch because there is no turning back at that point. But he did and I got no sleep because of it.
I dont want to be that girl that goes crazy over the littlest things but he is my husband, this isnt something new. I am protective of him and our marriage because I refuse to have a failed marriage for stupid reasons, like stupid girls. He thinks I am just crazy and insecure and overanalysis the little things. But its those little things that mean alot. I can deal with his zero romance, his selfishness, and his dull nature, but it seems like ever couple years, we have another girl walk back into his life and cause issues. I cant keep doing this. I honestly feel trapped when he does this because I feel like if I want to leave, I cant. I am tired to him through the kids, financically, and in every way possible. I shouldnt feel like that but I do when he does this.
If you want this marriage to continue then you need to get counseling. You both have things that you need to understand about each other whether it is positives or negatives. Military One Source is the place to start with it as they do offer up to 12 free sessions for you. And before he says the command will find out they will NOT, it is confidential unless there is a threat to a person.
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