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Low Morale


First I want to say your post really touched home. And I hope that in my suggestion you don't find me too blunt or direct or out of line...

Allow me first to introduce myself. My name is Tiffanie DiDonato, I'm a Marine wife, a new mom and also an author. I was also born with a rare form of dwarfism called Diastrophic Dysplasia. In essence it is a long winded term to mean I would never be taller than 3'8".  At age 15 I underwent the controversial bone lengthening procedure.Originally I was told I could only receive 3-4". I'm happy to say through this surgery I grew a staggering 14" (something never done before). I am now 4'10!

This brings me to your situation--when I was struggling with recovery from the surgery (we're talking 2 years of constant physical therapy) I wrote in a journal. I detailed everything I felt and endured and eventually it lead to my memoir, "DWARF: How one woman fought for a body--and a life--she was never supposed to have."

I can't help but wonder if writing will help you both cope, too? I'm not talking about writing simple letters. What if you created a story similar to, say, 50 Shades of Grey? And this is where I hope you forgive my forwardness. Since you are newlyweds and the anxst and heated passion that comes from this time in your marriage (or that your supposed to have if Uncle Sam wouldn't butt in) this story could star you and him as main characters. And each month or few weeks is a new chapter that you send. It may give him something to look forward to receiving as time goes by. And lord knows it will give you both a hot topic to discuss. Perhaps, to mix things up a bit, he could always write a chapter to follow yours and send it back to you. Then, you pick up where he left off and so on and so forth.

It's somethign different, a bit scandalous and a lot of fun. And, of course, only my humble suggestion.

Here if you need me,


We are about 2 months into our 12 month deployment. We were married in January and he went to basic in March. His training was to be complete in September and we were to move to our first duty station somewhere in the states.  Unfortunately, he was sent overseas instead.  We've been together for over 8 years, and have gone through a couple LDRs. We talked about and prepared for this as much as possible but it has been pretty hard for both of us. We've been apart for going on 9 months as newlyweds. When he first got over there, he was miserable. Which is to be expected. I figured it was a phase or something that he would get used to. I've texted him and sent him pictures, we skype as much as we can but the time difference is killer.  I've sent a care package and another one is on it's way. I know he hates it, but I don't know what else I can do.   His facebook posts are always so negative and he complains that he's not doing anything "important" over there. His job is not a high combat mos, so they have them doing things to use their time like paperwork, shredding, etc. I understand he is bored but I try to tell him as much as possible, even the most stupid things help. I would love some suggestions to help him, and me, this is hard for me too, but I feel like I'm always trying to cheer him up. It's hard to stay positive all the time, and we don't have a whole lot of support. I appreciate any advice! 

I'm sorry this is happening to y'all. :(

My boyfriend also gets frustrated with some jobs he does in the Army and when that happens I just let him vent (he feels better afterwards) and then I try to stay positive still. I know it sucks and its hard to keep up the Pollyanna act but you absolutely have to. One of you has got to stay positive through this otherwise you'll just drown in negativity. And deployment is hard enough as it is! Keep writing him emails, keep sending fun care packages (find funny themed ones on Pinterest and other milspouse blogs!), and keep staying positive for him. He will realize soon that you're a wonderful, supportive, and positive wife and that he is glad that you're there for him even though his job sucks sometimes. :) 

Keep your chin up. Pray a lot. :)

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