Sometimes, I’m not okay. I’m not ashamed or afraid to admit it.
Too often, when we struggle – and I mean heart-wrenching struggles, our souls splitting with the pain of the pressure, the stress, the undeniable aches – we feel the blood pumping in our heads, in our hearts: “Too much. Too much. Too much. Too much.”
Sometimes, the overwhelmingness, the responsibility, the necessities and the constant “to-do’s” begin to be too much to handle, too much to feel, too much to admit.
It’s too much when we start to feel distant from ourselves. When we are only a shell of who we know we can be. When we take inventory of our lives and circumstances and think, Hey, who am I? Why am I feeling this way?
Sometimes, we’re just NOT okay.
It seems that we have come to accept hiding our imperfections, stuffing our bad days and weeks, our slumps and ruts out of sight from the world. I don’t mean that hideously impersonal world out there. I mean our world. Our family, our friends, our support.
Sometimes, we hide behind a façade of golden “I’m-fine-ism,” where everything is, you got it: just fine.
Our smiles don’t quite reach our eyes, and in a rather convincing tone, we repeat that we are “fine, just fine,” as if we say it often (or fervently) enough, we just might believe it.
Are we afraid of others’ retribution? Are we concerned about others barging into our unresolved issues? Or can you catch the pleading note in my “just-fine-ism”: I’m not fine, actually. Ask me. Ask me what’s wrong! Help me!
And here’s the truth: Sometimes we are NOT OKAY.