6 Things That Probably Won’t Happen During Deployment

Let me be real honest here.

Me + deployments = embracing a special brand of mediocrity.  

And, surprisingly, I’m not being self-deprecating. I’m, well, totally bragging.

I’m so proud of my choice to be mediocre that I could shout it from the tops of the mountains (the mountains of my unfolded piles of laundry, that is).

Here’s the thing. I used to have these real aspirations during deployments, you know, these goals of absolute grandeur.


It’s a lot easier to lower your standards to achievable sights. I’m talking about dropping those suckers several rungs on the ladders of achievements. Like, “basic needs for survival” kind of achievable.

Those are my sights, and even then, they can look awful far away.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that I’ve just sat on a couch and wasted away for deployment-years at a time (wasting away would involve never eating, which just sounds stupid).

I’ve accomplished lots of great, hard things during my spouse’s deployments: I had some new babies, I ran some fun races (fun as in, I got a doughnut at the finish line), I moved across this rather large country, made some seriously quality friends (that could now help me with stuff), and I kept the kids kept alive and all that (which, you know, requires effort).

But I’ll tell you what. This last deployment, I was capped. I had THIS MUCH on my to-do list and this much time, energy and motivation.

Add Murphy’s Law into the mix and I found myself expecting things that “probably wouldn’t happen” to normal people under normal duress. Which, you know, was not me. I was under an eat-all-the-things, sad-that’s-an-empty-Cheeto-bag amount of duress.

So, if you’re a first-timer to the deployment world, here are a few things that I learned that probably WON’T happen for you during your spouse’s deployment. As in… you probably won’t get them done (like, you won’t) AND you probably should expect the literal worst (yeah, you definitely should).

Hey, I’m just the messenger. But pretty much saving the day over here.

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