Homecoming. Often the most anticipated day in the military community.
But once the pictures are taken, the signs are shown off and the service members are home, the excitement wears down a little and reality kicks in.
You have been living on your own for somewhere between 3 and 24 months.
You have a routine.
Your kids have a routine.
Now, there is this person throwing their personality and their needs into your tightly run ship and it’s not always an easy transition. For you OR your service member.
So what can you do? Here’s our advice-
I know, I know. This seems to be the answer for every problem people have with their spouse.
But it’s a good one!
You and your spouse NEED to sit down and talk about what is going on.
Talk about what their needs are and what your needs are. Discuss how much responsibility they feel comfortable taking on again and help your spouse transition back into being a fully functioning part of the family.
They are going to feel like an outsider for a while when they first get home. Watching you do everything isn’t their way of being lazy, it may just be how they learn your routine and how you like things done.
It’s very hard to be gone from your family for months at a time and be the person in charge while deployed, then come home and realize someone else is running things so smoothly that it seems you don’t fit into the mix.
Both parties need to talk about what it is going to take to return to the balance of responsibilities that were there prior to deployment.