Military Marriage Relationships

4 Reasons Planning a Military Wedding Is One of the Hardest Things You Ever Do

3. You’ll (probably) miss several of your best friends

planning a military wedding

In the past year, my husband and I know at least four couples who got married — and we weren’t able to attend a single wedding. Why? Because none of the weddings fit with his training schedule, and because flying is darn expensive at short notice! It was a huge blow to have to miss the weddings of couples we dearly love, but that’s the nature of the military lifestyle. Insert eye-roll here.

Assuming you and your husband are functioning adults who interact with other human beings, I’m willing to bet you’ve both already made a ton of military friends — individually and as a couple. Be aware, that if you’ve invited them to your wedding, there’s a strong chance they might not be able to make it, so please don’t get all Jerry Springer on their asses if they have to send back a negative RSVP.

At the same time, it’s no secret that the military is going to fling you and your fiance far away from home; from the beginning of the planning process, it’s important to decide if it’s worth getting married closer to your military home, or if you both want to travel back to your home town, or do something totally different. Think about the people who are most important to you, if they’ll have the time or money to travel to your wedding, how important it is that they attend, if you can afford to help them out financially, and use this as a basis for your planning.

4. Your planning efforts will hit hurdles

planning a military wedding

By now, of course, you’re probably aware that there are a phalanx of old military adages that gently poke fun at the fact that, in the military, you should never plan anything, ever. And, I hate to say it, but it’s true — or, at least, semi true. Certainly, there are a few extra factors to take into consideration that go a little beyond the struggle for the perfect shade of off-white, or getting that DIY chair back you saw on Pinterest down pat.

Your soon-to-be-spouse will have to take leave for the wedding, of course, and this is entirely at the discretion of his command. If they’re getting ready to deploy, for example, the schedule becomes far less flexible and even something as big as a wedding might have to be sidelined. Make sure your partner is in communication with his command from the get-go, and that any plans you make are based around the training schedule. This might mean you have less time to plan than you’d like, but there aren’t really any alternatives.

Also, as suggested over at The Knot, it’s a good idea to invest in wedding insurance, which can cover thousands of dollars worth of damages, or receiving full compensation for your wedding if it needs to be postponed at short notice.

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