Relationships

Dear Mr. Murphy, It’s Time to Say Goodbye

Dear Mr. Murphy,

I regret to inform you that this partnership can no longer continue. Over the past three years you have thrown everything at me with little thought for anyone but yourself. In case you’ve been too busy with your other relationships to remember what I might be talking about please allow me to refresh your memory.

First off, you were kind enough to make sure that my first set of orders out of boot camp were to the one place on Earth I didn’t want to go to. For months leading up to boot camp people asked me where I wanted to be stationed and my answer was always the same, Italy or Not Norfolk. You teased me with orders to Georgia. Orders that would have put me just a short drive away from my brand new husband. Before the ink was even dry on them you laughed and decided I would be better off back in Norfolk.

In case that wasn’t enough for my first six months as a Sailor and three months as a wife you thought it would be a good time for me to see the world. Now I understand that I always wanted to travel and that is exactly why I enlisted, I just somehow thought I’d be seeing more of the land side of the world than the water side. And I really did anticipate you at least allowing me to have the cute homecoming moment with my husband when I got back to the states. But my mistake, you weren’t done with me yet. Oh no. You thought it would be funny to send my husband on his own government sponsored vacation to a foreign country. Thanks again for that.

And you didn’t stop there. Year two you decided it was time for medical problems. Two foot surgeries in 11 months was super fun. Especially when doctor’s orders were to stay off my feet for FOUR MONTHS and yet thanks to your desire to place me 502 miles away from my husband, I didn’t exactly have someone around to help with the day to day tasks that require things like walking. Oh and wonderful timing on foot surgery #2. Cause I mean, who doesn’t want to be on crutches two weeks after a funeral for their grandmother and one week after lasik eye surgery. I think my husband might actually thank you for that, he got to be 502 miles away from me when I turned into a blind lady who cried all the time and couldn’t walk.

Now we’re in year three and the hits just don’t stop. What should be a wonderful countdown to the end of the long distance marriage has already seen more car problems, emergency fund withdrawals, and emotional upheaval to last a normal person a lifetime.

It’s time for you to move on. Go bother someone else. Because despite your best efforts to break me down it hasn’t quite worked.

You see, coming back to Norfolk turned out to be not so bad. When I got stationed back at home, I had friends who were there to help me through all the rough spots. From offering me a place to live to handing over a car to use until I got settled I had amazing support. I was able to go back to the same church, to see my family often, and to pick up with friends where I left off when I went to boot camp.

And that dual deployment? Well, it let us save money. A lot of money that was needed later when you popped up unexpectedly. Plus I got to cross some items off my bucket list. Where else would I have been able to jump off an aircraft carrier and swim in the Gulf of Oman? Or help launch a plane when I have an admin job? Or ride a camel? And even though the husband wasn’t there at homecoming some of my family was. Oh, and I did get to make it to his homecoming so I still got that great first kiss all over again anyhow.

As for the medical stuff, ok that part sorta sucks still. I’ll always walk a little funny now and I had to miss a very special moment with my family since I couldn’t travel. But this was another moment where my husband stepped up and showed me how much he loves me. He was able to be here for the first week after surgery and it was a great time for us to reconnect. Even if I was a little doped up… We got to stay up talking when I couldn’t sleep and got to spend hours cuddling on the couch together. Time we normally don’t have together we finally got!

And don’t think I don’t know what you’re up to now. We have just over a month and a half until my husband is the only man in my life again, Mr. Murphy, so you’re trying to get in one last parting shot. It won’t work. Because from here all I can see is the silver lining on whatever you throw my way.

So thanks for the past three years, but I think I’ll say goodbye now.

Your friend,

The Military Spouse

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