Military Marriage

3 Really Great Reasons You Should Use This Tool to Help Your Marriage

Have you ever noticed that the things that drive us crazy about our spouse/significant other are also the very same things we love them for?

Personally, this becomes painfully obvious to me every time my dear husband and I embark on a home improvement task.

I immediately get excited about the finished product I can see so vividly in my head and am raring to get started as soon as possible. My husband prefers to step back, think about the task (and everything that could go wrong) and then verrrrryyyy cautiously proceed.

As you can imagine, these differing work styles can lead to frustration, hurt feelings and arguments if we don’t actively work to manage them. Thankfully, we both know and understand our respective strengths so we can usually work together to develop a plan that utilizes our different, but complementary, strengths.

Through many years and tears, I now realize that I need his strategic strength (when faced with a scenario he can quickly spot the relevant patterns and issues) to balance my activator strength (the ability to make things happen by quickly turning thoughts into action).

This need is true in many different situations, not just home improvement. I rely on his cautious ability to think through all of the possibilities when we are considering our next duty station, buying our next car or selecting a school for our children. In turn, he loves the fact that I can quickly jump into action unpacking boxes when we PCS and don’t have a problem getting all of household chores done solo when he is TDY.

Assessments, such as the Gallup StrengthsFinder or VIA Character Strengths, are powerful tools I highly recommend for use in all areas of your life. More specifically, here are the top three reasons why you should be using them to strengthen your marriage.

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