35 Negative Military Spouse Stereotypes

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A stereotype is a thought that may be adopted about specific types of individuals or certain ways of doing things, but that belief may or may not accurately reflect reality.  In addition, they tend to be used as a way to make a person feel better about themselves…in short, people believe or perpetuate stereotypes in order to view themselves in a more positive light.

Well, that stops here.  Right now.  This very minute.  Because.  WE.  ARE.  DONE. 

This week is going to be a tough week for all of us.  Prompted this weekend, our initial launch piece yesterday about how being overweight does not negatively impact a service member’s career, this week begins content that will literally RIP THE BAND AID of stereotypes THE HELL off.  We’re going to let the wound breathe…breathe for a full week…so it can heal.  We are dropping this “We-are-our-own-worst-enemy” bag of rocks filled with “self-loathing”, “beating ourselves up”, “treating each other like crap” and “perpetuating negative stereotypes”. 

We are leaving it behind and moving on.  PSCing, if you will, to a better duty station. 

We are going to be self-evaluating, self-reflecting and self-improving.  But we are not going to do?  Give any more space in any part of our lives to perpetuate the nonsense of what absolutely is NOT TRUE about our community.

So, the first step in fixing a problem, is recognizing that there IS one.   That was done yesterday. 

The next step is to identify it.   And, so we do in “35 Negative Military Spouse Stereotypes.” 

We want you to join this conversation. What stereotypes did we miss? Which are the ones that bother you the most? Because by getting all this negativity out of our system…only then can we move forward and past all of this nonsense!

Contributing Writers: Babette Maxwell, Erin Whitehead, Kate Dolack, Kristi Luchi,  Cyndia Rios-Myers, Kristine Bedwell, Wayne Perry, Kate Reimann, Tia Johnson, Stacy Allsbrook Huisman, Jen Chaloux, Rebekah Sanderlin, Lucha Reyna, Rebecca Alwine, Jennifer McDonald, Alisha Lowe Youch, and Morgan Wood Slade



35) We are fat.

34) We are lazy.

33) We pop out a ton of kids.

32) We don’t have our own identity.

31) We don’t care about our appearance.

30) We care too much about our appearance.

29) Officer spouses are snobs.

28) Enlisted spouses are uneducated.


27) We wear our service members rank.

26) We are whiners.

25) We have a sense of entitlement.

24) We are incompetent during deployment.

23) We are free-loaders.

22) We don’t want to work.


21) Our marriages are doomed.


20) We are unfaithful.

19) We thrive on drama.

18) We knew what we were getting into and should stop complaining.

17) We are coattail riders.

16) Our behavior or appearance negatively affects our spouse’s career.

15) Nothing we do can affect our spouse’s career.

14) We are all right-wing conservatives.


13) We are swingers.

12) We are all submissive.

11) We all sell Scentsy, Thirty One or Mary Kay.

10) We think we can demand anything from our spouse’s command.


9) We are all threatened by female military service members.

8) We are all women.

7) We buy Coach purses instead of diapers for our children.

6) We are welfare Queens/Kings.


5) We eat Bon-Bons.

4) We wear tons of military gear because we think we are also in the military.

3) We are gossips.

2) We con Tricare into giving us breast implants.

1) We married them for the money.


Disclaimer: Regarding our cover photo…when we searched for “Bon Bons” this is the image we came up with. No one here at Military Spouse can verify its authenticity…since none of us have actually ever, seen, bought or eaten one.




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