You never get a second chance to make a first impression.” -Harlan Hogan

I use this quote almost everyday because it’s true, you don’t get a second chance to make that first impression.

As an EMT in a very busy emergency department and trauma center, I come face to face with people everyday- sometimes even in their darkest hour. Giving them a first impression of calmness, professionalism and communication when they need it most will hopefully ease their pain and anxiety.

I do my best to explain everything that is going on and I look them in the eye when speaking to them. I am confident in what I do and it shows through my work and the way I care for my patients. I don’t show emotion, because they need someone to either hold their hand during a painful procedure or to sit and listen to them talk about what is going on in their life at that very moment.

I want their first impression of me and the place that I work to be a good one and one that they will always remember.

There are a lot of people and military groups that are striving to include the male military spouse and we, all male military spouses, encourage that!

We want to be included and heard. Do we expect to be “flocked to” because we have “graced you with our presence”, when we are the only male spouse attending the event? No, but some recognition would be nice. Maybe asking our advice on how to get more male military spouses involved would be helpful for everyone.

Another event I went to many years ago to see a guest speaker, was put on by a well known group and they had their tables set up with things to buy. It was all pretty much geared towards the female military spouse, which was nothing new to me.

I ended up buying a cookbook, because I like to cook (much like female spouses) and then waited for the event to start.

One of the ladies at the event approached me and we had a great conversation!

She gave a great first impression!

So, I asked the men of Macho-Spouse about their first impressions when they went to their first command function or event. The answers were all over the board.

One male spouse said that he only went to the command events so that he could get information as to what is going on within his wife’s command.

Another male spouse became president of his spouse’s group and he was the third male spouse to hold that position!

They both admitted that there were many awkward meetings, but until the women realized they were there for the same reason they were, they fit in perfectly.

Those were a few examples of some of the positive outcomes of attending a spouse event, but there have been some not so great ones as well.

Michael Piatt wrote “I got to stay home because they never invited me.”

Ray Swindle, another male military spouse, wrote “Oh good, finally a guy shows up. I know who I will call now when the yard needs mowed.” Seriously?!

Another male spouse, Mike Bozeman, said “When I walked in, a Colonel’s wife asked me if I was the evening’s entertainment.

Doug Nordman, founder of said, “Good, someone’s finally putting the word out about the schedule.”

After having some of those types of first impressions, would you return?