1) While hard, homecomings can also be a chance to fall in love with your spouse…all over again.


There are plenty of things to complain and be upset about when you are married to the military. Certainly “multiple deployments” is high on that list. Everyone needs to vent, scream, and cry on occasion. But at some point you have to look for a positive.

For me, that positive has been falling in love with my husband over and over again, thanks to the many separations we have experienced. With each deployment, we improve our communication skills through letters and emails. Every time he’s at a lengthy training exercise, I am reminded of all the things I love the most about him, which is sometimes hard when we are in our daily grind.

And even when he is just gone for the night because of duty… my heart really does grow fonder due to absence.

Those are the things I wish I knew as I waited for my husband to get off that bus almost 10 years ago. Homecomings have honestly been more of a challenge than I ever imagined… but they can be a positive part of military life, even if they don’t live up to a Hollywood version meant for the big screen.

Be flexible, keep your expectations in check, communicate with your spouse, and ask for help if you don’t feel like you and your spouse are adjusting well.

What are the things that you wish you knew before you welcomed your spouse home for the first time?

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