While many people don’t share details about their sex lives, especially in marriages, countless couples face similar situations. My husband, for instance, works 12-hour days 7-days a week, with a day or two off in-between. He’s often exhausted when he gets home, leading us to have to get creative with times we both are interested in (and awake enough for) sex. It’s not always easy to meet each other’s’ needs, but as Jane explains, the key is communication, whether it’s after a deployment, or during a normal work week.

“Your spouse is not a mind reader, and the more you talk, the stronger your relationship [will be] when there are some changes in intimacy,” she said.

The next spouse I spoke with, Brittany, had a similar experience to Jane, but with a big boost in intimacy right before her spouse deployed.

“My wife’s sex drive jumped like crazy. We were having sex literally every single day for about a month and a half, and once her pre-deployment leave kicked in, she wanted to have sex more than once a day a lot of time,” Brittany said.

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