The Story of Two to *Hopefully* Three

We are High School sweethearts who have tried for a family but to no avail. Now we are going to try IVF (In Vitro Fertilization) in hopes that we can have the boisterous family that we always wanted.

After two miscarriages and friends having their second, or even third child, we are hoping God will help us in completing our family. We both have always dreamed of having a family. While sometimes that doesn’t always happen right away, we have faith that it will happen eventually, with some aid. 

Our journey first started when we had been trying to conceive for a year with no luck. I then found out that I had what’s known as Polycystic Kidney Disease a genetic disorder that affects the kidney function. We learned then that whatever children we would have would have a 50/50 shot of having it as well. Three years later it was determined that I have what is known as Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome. It affects one’s ability to conceive and comes with a whole slew of other wonderful symptoms. Since then we have gone a different route and I chose school, since our dream was a family was not becoming a reality.

I graduated in May 2014 with my Bachelors in Psychology and a Minor in Criminal Justice. While this path has been rewarding, it was not what I truly wanted. I am still going to school and hope to graduate in the Summer of 2016 with my Masters in Organizational Leadership and Human Resources. My dream is to one day have my PhD in Psychology and work for Veteran Affairs. Now, nearly 8 years of marriage later, we feel is the right time to push for having our dream family. We’re working with a Reproductive Doctor in Seattle, WA but even with military discounts (yes, there is a discount, thank God,) we still need help financially.  

We know the military doesn’t cover anything for IVF, but you can get a referral for most of the testing. It’s quite intriguing how some things are covered and others are not. What was even more interesting was that even if you have a medical issue, which hinders your ability to conceive, they still wouldn’t cover it. Typically Tri-care will cover anything that is associated with a medical issue because it’s a medical necessity, but having a child, I suppose, is not deemed a medical necessity. I really just wanted to let other couples out there know they are not alone.

It’s so disheartening to live this military life without the family you desire. I’ve even been discriminated against and ostracized for not having children. It’s what has pushed me to better myself and play an active role in our commands Family Readiness Group to support those spouses who also are like me. I’ve made friends I never thought I might make before because our inability to have a child pushed me outside my comfort zone. I know that we one day will have our family, maybe via IVF or maybe through adoption. In the mean time, I am just happy to know that we are not the only ones going through something like this. It gives us hope, hope for our future family. Learn more about the Riley family here

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