(read als0: 16 Marriage Stories about keeping romance in military marriage!)
If you’ve been on any Social Media sites in the last few days, chances are you’ve come across this article: 5 reasons marriage doesn’t work anymore by Anthony D’Ambrosio. Chances are you’ve also come across a lot of heated opinions on this article too. On one side you have people heralding this article as if D’Ambrosio’s words are holy words spoken from the Church of Why Your Marriage is Doomed. On the other side you have people vehemently arguing that D’Ambrosio’s article is blasphemous and that sticks and stone’s won’t break their marriage’s bones, thank you.
Seeing as how I’m clearly writing about the article too, you may be wondering if I’ve got a take on it myself. Well, as an opinionated gal, of course I do. My stance is that I completely agree with the article….and I completely disagree with the article. While the article does bring up some valid points, I disagree with the writer’s attitude of, “Sure, I like the idea of marriage, but ultimately marriages these days are all doomed.” As a matter of fact, the New York Times posted an article in December of last year noting that divorce rates are actually on the decline and expected to continue to decline further.
So, while I do think D’Ambrosio brings up some valid points, I see them more as potential roadblocks you can hit in your marriage. Here are my thoughts on each of his points, and what you can do to prevent these problems from happening in your own marriage:
Point 1: Sex becomes almost non-existent.
Why I agree: It’s true that sex often declines after marriage. After all, it’s hard to keep that ripping each-other’s clothes off 3 times a day vigor you may have had in the beginning up for the rest of your lives. I agree as well with D’Ambrosio’s point that sex is everywhere these days, after all with just the tap of a button you can now pull up porn on your phone or computer and porn addiction is a real issue that many couples face, making it difficult for men to be active in their sex lives at home.
Why I disagree: While the porn and modeling industries may make insecurities abound everywhere, I disagree that you “have to be perfect to keep someone attracted to you.” I’d like to give the majority of the population a little more credit here on this one. After all, we can’t all really be that shallow can we? Most people know that those “pictures of men and women we know half naked” everywhere are typically photo-shopped or taken in a certain way to make that person look better than real life. Heck, the right Instagram filter these days can entirely change someone’s appearance. If people were expecting the opposite sex to look like online photos or advertisements, no one would get married in the first place. Also, if not having sex frequently doomed every marriage, then what about all those military couples out there that have been married for years despite many deployments? Deployments during which they’re clearly not able to have sex?
How to prevent: Make sure to take the time to still notice each other so your partner knows that you still find them sexy. Call them the same silly pet names you did in the beginning and make sure to always kiss them when you see them. If you think your sex life could use a boost, try out some new lingerie or new moves. Even a date to somewhere new can make you feel excited about each other again. Bottom line is, don’t take your spouse for granted and keep working at it. After all, you clearly thought they were a catch when you married them so make sure that they know you still, and always will, feel that way.