Military life is not for the faint of heart. Being a military spouse requires unending patience, the ability to adapt and endure as well as the initiative to jump in with both feet. Seasoned spouses have learned well what is needed to make it all work. Here’s some wisdom we want to share:
Independence is Key
“Believe in your strength and ability to handle whatever the military puts on your plate.” Melissa, Marine Spouse
“Learn independence, you CAN pay the bills, fix a flat or move across the country by yourself, with kids and even animals in tow. Why? Because you are an amazing, resilient, strong capable… wife!” ~Jennifer M. , Navy Spouse
Flexiblity is a Must
“Write everything that involves your husband’s schedule into your planner in pencil. It isn’t a matter of if it will change; it is when it will change. Learn to expect the unexpected.” ~Tina P., Navy Spouse
“Flexibility is a must! Plans, schedules, deployments, leave dates, etc…they all can change from one day to the next. Be ready for change at a moments notice, stay positive.” ~Kristi L. , Navy Spouse
Empower Yourself
“Make your own life…don’t drive yourself crazy trying to accommodate their (the service member’s) ever-changing schedules.”
~Heather D., Navy Spouse
“Learn about what your service member does in the military because that understanding will help you not take their military demands personally.”
~Melissa, Marine Spouse
“When you know you are going to PCS… find out as much as possible about the place you are moving before you get there! This will make life much easier.” ~Ateacherof6, MilSpouse forums
Put Yourself Out There
“Make new friends by getting involved with various organizations at the new duty station…stay in contact with the ACS, PWOC, FRG, MWR, etc..and know what’s going on.” ~ Ateacherof6, MilSpouse Forums
“Your family may be thousands of miles away. The military is part of your family now. Look to other wives for advice, friendship, support and love…don’t think twice about helping anyone else, because they need you as well.”
~Samantha, Army Spouse
“You’re only the “new” kid for a day. Surround yourself with supportive, positive people” ~ Jennifer M., Navy Spouse
Ask for Help
“The military community has an amazing group of spouses that will always be there when you need help.” ~Katrina P., Navy Spouse
“When PCSing always double and triple check everything. The military isn’t a spectator sport, you have to get involved sometimes…if you have any questions, be sure to ask until you understand completely.” Melanie, Army Spouse
“You’re not alone; do not try to do it alone.” Melissa G. , Navy Spouse
Stay Positive!
Enjoy each duty station…I was always thinking about where we would move to and… forgot to enjoy where we were…now that we are retired… I can’t believe how much I miss moving.” ~KathyY, Milspouse forums
“Everyday will have new challenges and adventures. Go with the flow and don’t sweat over things.” ~Ksindel, Navy Spouse
And a few random bits of advice:
“Tattoos are forever! Don’t do it, no matter how proud you are!” ~ Soldier and Spouse, MilSpouse Forums
“Make sure ALL the ink pens are out of his uniform before washing!” ~Tiffany J., Army Wife