From chelsealynndavis.com
For some, turning 30 is an overwhelming event. We don’t want to reach it yet. We so desperately want to hold onto the youth and joyfulness of our twenties.
Maybe we don’t feel ready because we’re not where we want to be yet, personally or professionally.
For military spouses, our twenties looked differently than the average person. Perhaps you married young and your twenties were filled with having babies, buying homes, and PCSing more times than you could count.
For others maybe it was meeting your significant other, then navigating your own career while moving halfway across the world to be with him or her. No matter our situation, we are uniquely bonded by our sacrifice and this lifestyle that we live.
My 30th birthday is only one month away, but I’m choosing to celebrate it and welcome a new decade. Or, as Jennifer Gardner so famously puts it – thirty, flirty, and thriving.
I wanted to share 20 lessons I’ve learned in my twenties. If I could go back in time and give myself any advice, this would be it:
Self Care
1: Go to therapy.
This is a big one. I think therapy has been misunderstood as being for people who are broken or have gone through a crisis. You don’t need any of that to warrant therapy. For me, my early 20’s were some of the hardest years of my life. Thanks to the advice from friends and family, I finally went to therapy. There is so something so therapeutic about speaking to a third party, a stranger, about whatever you’re going through. Try it at least once.
2: Exercise every day.
Energy is not given to you, it must be created. Move your body every day. Drink water. Many of us are chained to desks in front of screens every. single. day. Exercise doesn’t have to be grueling Crossfit class, it could be a quick walk with your dog, a spin class on base, or a free yoga class on YouTube while the baby sleeps. By exercising, you’ll be releasing stress and tension from your body and clearing your head. Try to find pockets of time to do this for yourself.
3: Stop eating crap.
Only eat food with ingredients you can pronounce. This was a major game changer for me in my wellness journey. We’re adults now. Read labels of everything you buy. Know what you’re putting in your body. Be aware of how certain foods make you feel. Food can be medicine – it should fuel you and heal you.
4: Prioritize sleep.
You’re not in college anymore. You have a full-time job, whether that’s at an office or at home with your family. But you must show up for the people who count on you. You don’t get winter or spring break. You’re lucky to get Columbus or Martin Luther King Jr. Day off. Prioritize your sleep and go to bed at a reasonable hour. Aim for at least seven hours of sleep. Lay out your clothes the night before and don’t hit snooze. Wake up and conquer the day.
5: Get yourself a massage. Better yet, a facial.
Self care, self care. I know what you’re thinking – I can’t afford it. But how much money do you spend on Starbucks runs, Ubers, or going out to eat? If you can, save up money once a month (or quarter) to treat yourself to a massage or facial. You are worth it.
6: Go to the doctor.
You’re an adult, after all. Make sure you stay on top of your dental cleanings and annual check-ups. See a specialist for conditions you’ve been putting off for years like acne or allergies. Use your insurance benefits, girl!
Relationships
7: Call your grandparents.
When we’re young, our grandparents are like heroes to us. They’re superhuman of some sorts, who provide us with so much love and attention and devotion and comfort. We can forget as we age ourselves, our grandparents age too. And they won’t be around forever. My husband calls his grandparents regularly, and almost always sends them postcards from our trips. I started doing this recently (and I’m still working on it, honestly), but when I do it makes me so happy.
8: Surround yourself with positive people.
Make sure you surround yourself with positive people who encourage, inspire and lift you up. People come in and out of our lives for different reasons, and sometimes friendships aren’t made to last a lifetime. And that’s okay. Consider this – you are the combination of the five people you spend the most time with.
9: Stop comparing yourself.
Stop comparing yourself to others. High school was a million years ago. Snap out of whatever funk you’re in and own who you are. Your twenties can be so difficult because everyone is doing their own thing at their own time – job promotions, big moves, getting engaged or married or having kids. But that’s the thing – everyone is doing their own thing. Don’t worry if you’re not where someone else is. Don’t compare your beginning to their middle.
10: Make time for others.
Prioritize your time and stay in touch with your friends and family. As a military spouse, life can move so quickly, and we certainly go through seasons that are busier than others. Don’t let your closest relationships fall by the wayside. You need those friendships. Schedule a monthly happy hour, phone call or Skype date. Set reminders on your phone. Send them a birthday card.
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