As a military spouse, it is easy to feel lost in the hustle of PCSing. Many moving parts must be discovered, prepared, and assembled before your family feels comfortable at your new duty station. And let’s face it, as the leader of Household Six, you are responsible for everything coming together smoothly; the home found and signed for, the children’s school registration completed, groceries bought, pets boarded, household goods inspected, and everything in between will likely depend on you. After everything is said and done, the only thing left is you—alone, exhausted, and unfulfilled. Here are 3 Ways to Cope with the feeling of loneliness at your new duty station (even if just temporarily).
Join a Group or Club
It can be tough to put yourself out there when you are feeling empty and lost, but it’s important to combat loneliness. There are plenty of ways to get involved at your new duty station; whether joining a club or group, getting involved in activities that interest you is a great way to meet new people and feel connected to your community. There are many ways to get involved in the community at your new duty station. The first thing to do is ask yourself what would make you happy? What type of groups or clubs interest you? What type of activities do you enjoy?
Whether joining a gym, taking up a new hobby, or simply exploring your new surroundings, doing something new can help you feel more connected to your new home. Talk to someone who’s been there. If you’re struggling to adjust to your new duty station, reach out to someone who’s been through it. Military spouses are often faced with many challenges when PCSing – but this doesn’t mean that they have to go through them alone. Make friends with other military spouses and let them know how you feel so they can offer support and advice on what to do next.
It’s also important to talk to your spouse about what you’re going through – they might be able to contribute some insight as well. You may also want to see if any other military spouses in your unit would like to form a small group. It can make things easier knowing that you have people who understand exactly what you’re going through.
Volunteer
One way to help cope with feeling lonely is to volunteer. When you volunteer, you meet new people who share your same interests. You also have the opportunity to learn new skills and make a difference in your community. Volunteering is a great way to feel connected to something larger than yourself and can help you feel less alone.
The sense of purpose that comes from volunteering is a huge benefit. While it’s one thing to be on duty for someone else’s cause, it’s quite another to work toward an end goal where you know how your efforts are making a tangible difference. If you’re looking for ways to build better relationships within your community or network professionally, volunteering may be a good option for you. Organizations like the USO and Blue Star Families offer nationwide volunteer opportunities for military spouses.
Practice Self Care
Remember: taking care of yourself should always come first. Put yourself first by exercising, eating healthy foods, drinking plenty of water, and getting enough sleep. Doing these things will help maintain good mental health so that you’re prepared for whatever may come next.
Although reminiscing on times past via social media may bring back delightful memories and experiences, viewing social media activity from friends at your old duty station can sometimes cause feelings of FOMO (fear of missing out). If you start to feel this way, it’s okay to give yourself some mental space by muting those posts or people. Maintaining good mental health is essential for coping with the stress of PCSing.
When you PCS, it’s important to remember that you’re not relying on anyone else for your happiness. You need to be proactive and take steps to make sure you’re staying connected with your loved ones and staying positive. One way to do this is by keeping a gratitude journal. Every day, write down three things that you’re grateful for. This will help you focus on the positive and keep your mind off of any negative thoughts. Focus on what you have rather than what you lack.
Feeling empty and lonely can take its toll on us emotionally and physically. So while military life has its challenges, we must find comfort where we can. Find something to fill the void and combat loneliness at your new duty station. Connecting with others is an important part of living a fulfilling life and building relationships within our communities.
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