3: The sacrifices only get bigger and harder
Recently, my husband was chosen for an unexpected job. One of those you can’t answer with no. His position now has been very taxing. You see, we had plans (ha, our first mistake) to take a different kind of job after this one, one that included more family time and a lot less stress. In fact, it would have been the first time in his career where we got more of a say and options for what we do.
We have been looking forward to this time since before he was a commander. However, the Army had other plans. I’ve slowly come to understand the reoccurring theme here. And only when one of my husband’s bosses spoke this question, did I have a light bulb moment.
“Are you in or are you out?” He was speaking this question, talking about his own career. But it has been revolving around in my head lately as I come to realize this will be our life in the Army from here on out. You don’t get options; you never get to take that easier job. The Army only gets more and more cut-throat the longer you stay in and if you aren’t committed to the Army 100% of the time, you aren’t going anywhere. I am surprised it has taken me this long to get it, but I do.
Sure, we could get out, but we were made for this life and we are going to try our hardest to get to 20. That’s the goal, right? Accepting that this life only gets harder and the sacrifices get bigger is something we all have to come to terms with.
4: Your attitude will make or break you.
There is an old saying: “The only thing you can control is your effort and attitude.” As we all know, we don’t have much control over our lives in the military. But we will always have control over these two things. As I mentioned earlier, it is easy for negativity and resentment to be present in our lives. But they aren’t serving us, our families, or communities.
What happens if we commit to being positive, active, and kind? I wonder what that could look like in our communities. Honestly, in the book titled Excuses, the best chapter is reserved for us. We do have it hard, and we do have very good reasons for justifying our bad attitudes or laziness.
But at the end of the day, they are just defenses. It is easy for this life to wear you down, but a positive attitude can change your life. And a shift in perspective has the power to affect more people than you can imagine.
When you realize that your attitude is a choice, then maybe you will more carefully weigh your choices. You have the freedom to choose how you live your life. You get to choose every day what kind of energy you are bringing to the world. Every morning you have the power to decide who you will be that day. For the sake of the betterment of the whole military community, I implore you to bring in your best efforts and attitudes so we can help spread positivity and appreciation for who we are, where we come from, and celebrate what we all can bring to the table in this small population.
If I could have had a conversation with myself in college, I would have given all the truths I just shared with you. I would have pulled up a chair and talked through all of these realities. Then I would have said, “You were made for this, and this life will give you the richest experiences.”
Learning these truths firsthand through the years has been the hard way. I hope by sharing, I don’t scare you away from military life, but provide you with information you need to fully understand what this life can be like. I also need to mention, in my opinion, it is still worth it. The moves, negative experiences, lost friendships, sacrifices, deployments are all just segments of this life. This life has the potential to provide the adventure of a lifetime. The potential for learning about yourself is really limitless. You have the opportunity to soar. To connect. To inspire change. To offer support. To learn. Take the opportunity and go for it.
