Did you know that Google thinks you’re “indestructible,” “heroic,” “unstoppable” and capable of weathering a snowstorm in Alaska?
It’s true. Google images of “strong military spouse,” and you’ll find memes and quotes that will make you feel like a superhero, a totally strong bad-ass.
Still, you might cast your eyes downward and ponder those days when you feel lost, confused, stressed, fed up and exhausted – anything but indestructible.
But, one simple tool can pull you through periods of struggle, and it might even help prevent a lot of them. Read on to see how journaling can help you lace up your boots, tie on your cape and feel more like that strong superhero.
1. Tease Out Your Thought-Tangles
Some people feel stressed just by standing at a fork in the road. Military spouses would probably love to stand at a fork in the road; more often, we stand in front of an entire circuit board, an interconnected network of countless possibilities. It’s easy to feel confused by all the different roads we could take.
But that’s where a journal can help.
When you’re caught in these “thought-tangles,” take out your journal and list each question, possibility or feeling. It doesn’t have to be in order or look pretty.
Then, beginning with the major questions or feelings, write in more detail about each one. What factors are involved? What is causing you stress? Is there something you can do to reduce your stress? What’s at the root of the issue? Do you have solutions or creative tricks to help?
Writing without constraints gives you the ability to de-tangle, or process, a lot of complex thoughts and emotions. As a result, you’ll be more relaxed, feel stronger and have a clearer outlook. And, that circuit board might not look so daunting after all.
2. Appreciate Your Blessings
While military life presents us with a hefty amount of challenges, it also gives us plenty of gifts, too. We get to experience life in many parts of the world. We get to grow in ways we never thought possible.
Reflecting on these benefits in a journal can help you maintain feelings of gratefulness and combat feelings of self-pity. In fact, studies show that gratitude helps improve overall mental health by reducing negative emotions like resentment, jealousy and anger. Research also shows that gratefulness can increase resilience – a bonus for us military folks.
Keeping a gratitude journal is also a good option for people who aren’t interested in traditional diaries. To make this strategy work for you, end each day by writing about two or three things that you’re grateful for. This will close each day on a positive note and build mental strength, laying a strong foundation to help you persevere.
3. Cope With Stress
Each TDY, deployment and PCS tests our patience, commitment and fortitude. We struggle with increased responsibilities, uncertain futures and the whirlwind of life. Saying “I’m stressed” doesn’t quite cover how we’re doing sometimes.
Many might journal to vent emotion and organize thoughts, but research suggests that journaling can be more effective when the journaler takes a more intentional and strategic approach.
A UCLA study suggests that identifying stress and emotions with specific words and phrases adds a mindful approach to journaling, which can increase its benefits. The study says that using specific language can help reduce the negative effects of the identified feelings. Another study indicates that journaling can help minimize stress when writers reflect on how they are growing or learning lessons amidst stress or turmoil.
While this tactic might take more effort to apply, it could be well worth the rewards of relief and self-discovery.
4. Train Your Brain
There’s an awful lot of noise out there, right? People complain, contradict, crab. They demean, deflate, discredit. When we’re immersed in noise, we might find ourselves thinking things we don’t want to think, or feeling ways we don’t want to feel.
But leading psychologists suggest a solution. They say that we have the power to train our brains by focusing on positive imagery, surrounding ourselves with likeminded people or reading material that aligns with our values.
Writing in a journal is another way to train our brain to think in a desired way.
Use your journal to write about the things that are important to you: your values, your friends and loved ones, your job, your joys, your passions. If writing from scratch is hard for you, then use journal prompts from a book or an online list.
Research shows that when you spend regular time focusing your brain in a desired way, you are actually creating new neural pathways, improving productivity and cognition and increasing overall happiness. Bottom line? You’ll feel a heck of a lot stronger!
5. See How Far You’ve Come
One reason I cherish my own journals is that I can see how far I’ve come. When I read journal entries from my early days as a military spouse 13 years ago, I appreciate the lessons I’ve learned since then. Even now, I experience uncertainty, but I can trust that I’ll learn and grow – I have, after all, grown so much already.
Take the time to journal about your journey in this unique, wild, scary, adventurous, beautiful life. No journal needs to be pretty, decorative, evenly spaced or even written in complete sentences. Just getting your thoughts onto paper will help you clear up confusion, see the path ahead more clearly and value what you have and who you’ve become.
And, you’ll give yourself the power to stand more firmly in the place you are, with the courage to keep walking forward.