“You are not alone.” “Everything is going to be alright.” What comforting words for many military spouses during these uncertain days. Everything around us is constantly moving and shaking. It can be difficult to find your bearing when the compass just keeps on changing direction. It is true, you are not alone and everything is going to be alright.
It may bring comfort knowing that just because you feel like everything is out of control doesn’t mean you are less than or too weak to handle your circumstances. You must look at from another perspective. As a military spouse you are constantly being exposed to some of the harder times most people experience only once or twice in their life. Over and over again you say goodbye to your spouse for an uncertain amount of time, half of your belongings are probably stored in boxes in the corner of the garage, your friends keeps changing and as soon as you get comfortable in one community, you are on to the next.
Understanding that you are living a very unique life under special circumstances may bring you great comfort. If you are feeling anxious, you certainly have earned that. If you are feeling stressed, you certainly deserve the right to feel that way. Once you are able to give yourself some grace and see that it isn’t you, it is what you’ve been through, you can then turn what feels like weakness into strength.
Here are 5 ways to combat the anxious milspouse heart:
- Release the weight you are carrying on your shoulders. You do not need to have it all together. You do not always have to have everything in line. Think of each year or month as a new painting. It may look messy right now, but you know in time it will all come together.
- Breathe. Simply taking a deep breath and releasing the tension that has been built up can be quite beneficial. Get a well deserved massage, quiet-time or walk. Take the time to let go.
- Build up. Negative thoughts are flooding through the air all around us. Cling to the positive. Remind yourself how strong and amazing you are. Put positive thoughts on sticky notes throughout your home that lift you up.
- Be okay with the unknown. The more and more things change, the more and more we may try to control. Whether it be the big things, or the little things, the practice of being okay with the unknown may bring great relief.
- Find your circle. Though it is difficult to plug into your community since it just keeps on changing, it is worth it in the end. You are not alone.