If I’ve learned anything these last ten years of being a Military Spouse, it’s to desperately look for the positive. Look even if your kids are chopping their own fingers off, both car engines blow up two days before deployment, and even if you’re knee deep in sewage.
Looking for the positives when you belong to the military can, at times, be difficult. This lifestyle is one that presents challenges that are unique to the outside world. Being married to a National Guard Soldier has been no different.
We’ve lived the active duty lifestyle before and this has given me some unique insight. The National Guard is a mysterious entity that not many understand, including its active duty counterparts. With this in mind I wanted to highlight the top 7 reasons I love being a National Guard spouse and a National Guard family.
1. Education and Career Aspirations
As a National Guard spouse, I have the ability to navigate career and education paths for myself and children without having to constantly (or maybe I should have said, “as frequently,”) relocate to a new area when compared to active duty families. My spouse is ADOS and while we do PCS sometimes, we have more control over where and if we go to a new area. This makes choosing a school for my children and pursuing my own career aspirations more predictable. I am able to observe trends in the local job market and study which schools are the best schools in my area for my children.
2. Healthcare/ Consistency
Because we do not relocate as frequently, we have the privilege to establish long lasting connections with professionals we seek service from. I’ve had the same primary care doctor for four years, and my kids have had the same pediatrician for the better portion of their lives. My hairdresser (who so happens to be my own mother) lives a car ride away and I don’t have to pray before getting my hair done that it won’t come out looking like one of my children colored it with a permanent marker. We are able to establish long lasting connections with people we trust and likewise are able to expect consistent quality care.
3. Connection to The Civilian World
When my husband left for his last deployment, my neighbors were my literal saving grace. I might be making a brazen statement here but I have to say it – sometimes civilians are just more empathetic to our situations. There is definitely a counter argument for this generalization, which I can completely agree with, but in my experience I’ve found that because civilians do not have ample knowledge of the challengers of our lifestyle, they often seem more inclined to practice empathy.
I’ve had neighbors show up with wrenches and shovels when they saw me in my backyard trying to fix a broken sprinkler head. I’ve had meals left on my porch the morning after my husband deployed. I’ve had so many incredibly heartwarming experiences with my civilian neighbors. When comparing living in military housing to living a civilian community, in my experience I would choose the civilian community, not necessarily because the level of support is better, but rather it is different, in a good way.
4. The Ability to Choose
To change gears a little bit, one of the things I love most about being a National Guard spouse is that we have the ability, for the most part, to choose where we call home, what job my spouse wants to do, and how we pursue a path of upward mobility. The National Guard allows its servicemembers to know which job they will be doing, and which unit they will belong to before they even get close to an actual drill sergeant. While predictability is not something I would attribute as a trait to any branch of service, a little bit certainly goes a long way when you’re living this lifestyle.
5. Camaraderie
We’ve had the opportunity to live both the active duty and National Guard lifestyle. Both definitely have their pros and cons but one of the most prized “pros,” of the National Guard is camaraderie that exists within it. We’ve known and been associated with the same families for the better part of my husband’s career. We’ve been able to establish connections with these families and have relied on one another for support. There is also an added comfort that I know when my husband is deployed, the men and women he serves with are people I know are good people because I’ve had the opportunity to get to know them. The National Guard family is just a beautifully knit together group of people, of which I am so grateful to be a part.
6. Two Worlds, More Experience
Traditional National Guard families often have a career in the civilian world while simultaneously pursuing a military career. This enables not only the soldier but the soldier’s family to gain knowledge and experience in two different spheres. This experience can help establish traits and talents that could benefit them after their military service is complete. Walking in two worlds also gives spouses access and knowledge for different resources, information, and opportunities.
7. Roots
There’s a popular saying we hear often in the military community, “bloom where you are planted.” It’s true that as we make the most out of every situation, duty station, and the slew of ever-changing life experiences we live a more joy-filled life. As a National Guard family we have the ability to bloom where we are planted as well as establish roots. As a guard family we have the privilege of investing in homes that we actually get to live in for an extended amount of time. We have the blessings of fostering long lasting relationships with our communities, and neighbors. When we establish roots we enable ourselves to establish a sense of stability and consistency.
In the end I’m grateful that I get to share experiences and connections with those who come from every branch of the military.
I am always humbled when I think of the sacrifices that each servicemember makes to serve our country to ensure that I and my National Guard family are permitted to live a life that so many others around the globe do not have the luxury of living.
I take pride in standing next to every family that supports each servicemember as I know, National Guard or Active Duty, each of you possess strength, courage, and charity.
In the end we’re all in this together.