Advice for All
When asked about advice for spouses both new and seasoned, this is what Mrs. Dunford had to say:
- Surround yourself with nice, helpful, positive people.
- Follow Mr. Rogers’ advice — look for the helpers.
- Be a tone setter for the better — create an environment for others that you would like to live in. It’s servant leadership.
- Try not to judge and learn to apologize.
- Believe you can survive and thrive. Talk yourself into the adventure of a lifetime.
- Be engaged where you can while taking care of family and career. Investment in command, community and culture helps you grow and thrive.
Changes in the Military
As any of us can imagine, the military has changed during Mrs. Dunford’s tenure as a military spouse. One of the greatest changes is to technology and communication. It’s these changes that have positively impacted how military families stay connected with their loved ones across the globe. For example, Gen. Dunford could watch his daughter graduate from college despite being deployed to Afghanistan.
The changes to the military is more than communication and technology, however; it’s us the people who have also changed.
We have more married service members now. When Mrs. Dunford first became a Marine Corps spouse, troops below the rank of sergeant had to ask permission to marry. Spouses are far more educated and career oriented, and the services are mindful of spouse employment. Military families have better housing, more childcare facilities and growing access to quality mental health care.
Having grown up as an Army brat, I, too, have seen these positive changes in the military. Although we have a way to go in some areas, the military is always looking at ways to improve quality of life for the service members and their families.
The opportunity to interview Mrs. Dunford gave me a glimpse into a truly remarkable woman whom I greatly admire. She reminded me of everything I love about the U.S. military: the friends and neighbors who are there when we need them through moves or helping us with our children. She reminded me of how we rally around each other to provide support during the difficult times.
However, the greatest takeaway we have from Mrs. Dunford is this:
“You should embrace all that makes you a better person as it will also make you a better spouse, parent, friend, boss, employee and community member. This can be a hard life at times, but it can be a wonderful life. Balance supporting the service member, family, career and friendships while feeding your own needs. Care for your body, brain and soul, too.”
Subscribe to Millspouse: This Week
