Sounds like the great premise to a dirty joke doesn’t it?
In fact, it is the opening of my first day of the Armed Services Arts Partnership (ASAP) Stand-Up Comedy Boot Camp. Yes, you read that right. I signed up for a stand-up comedy class. I am the least funny person in my family. My students tell me all the time that I am not funny. I am not a performer. I have horrible stage fright. Sounds like the perfect combination for a successful student in a stand-up comedy class, right?
If I am being honest, it wasn’t my idea to sign up. At the start of summer I was still in quite a bit of an emotional funk from the divorce and the VA shrink was kind enough to tell me that since I was so self-aware they didn’t have enough doctors to help be get through the issues so I could take meds and figure things out on my own. I was telling a friend about this over dinner and he told me about ASAP. A friend of his had taken their stand-up course when they were in college together and was now working with the program to mentor other veterans going through it. That night I sat down with a glass of wine and filled out the application. I blame the wine for actually doing it.
Fast forward to the end of summer and I received the “You’ve been accepted!” email. Cue the panic!
What the heck had I done!? I know nothing about how to actually be funny on purpose! Then again, I knew nothing about martial arts when I asked a Marine on deployment if I could take their MCMAP course and I did ok with that. I could do this too.
That first day of class I was still not 100% sure I was doing the same thing. The class had 12 military affiliated weirdos (myself included) who had to talk about what type of shoe they would be and why. We had to tell our first joke in front of strangers in the first ten minuets of class! Our instructors were a Navy JAG lawyer that told us to “Trust the process” and a Canadian Airman-turned-Navy Wife that pulled no punches at telling us what wasn’t working. What on earth had I gotten myself into!?
By week two I was feeling a little less like an idiot. I had to present two minuets of original material…but only to a small group of classmates and not the whole class. And know what? It turns out that if your husband asks for a divorce for Christmas there is a LOT of comedic material right there. Week three went even better! How could it not when that week I joined a dating app and had a guy tell me, “Nice tits, when did you get them done?” Typo? Maybe. But it made for a great punch line! Especially when it dawned on me that he might have meant tats…
By week four I had done my very first open mic night thanks to my Canadian instructor and southern belle mentor taking me out on a Sunday night. And at the end of week five I had a full-on five-minute set ready to go for the grad show, as long as I would slow down. So, when our rehearsal show rolled around, I was ready to go! I only forgot one joke that I wanted to make, and my classmates even had signs to hold up telling me to “slow the eff down!” when I started talk too fast. We had done it! We were ready for the graduation show!
There is no way I can put into words how amazing that final night was. We were performing at a local theatre in front of a sold out audience of friends and family members. All of my classmates, who were now not just weirdos I wasn’t sure about but instead were turning into a spare family, were dressed to impress and ready to get the mic in their hands. I was in the middle of the line-up, which meant I had plenty of time to get nervous about tripping up the stage steps or peeing my pants in front of the audience. As the performer in front of me walked off the stage and my intro started I walked from the back of the theatre and tried to remember to breathe.
In. Out. In. Out.
Thank the host. Grab the mic. Move the mic stand. Breathe. Smile at the audience.
Next things you know, my set was done, people were shaking my hand and I was crying with happiness about tackling it! I could not believe I got on stage, made jokes about lesbians and sex toys in front of my mother and pastor (yes, they were both in the audience). I remembered all my jokes. I didn’t fall off the stage! It was an absolute high.
That first week I walked into class I wasn’t sure I was going to make it to the end. I was positive I had made a mistake. Instead, it was one of the best things I have done since I left the military. Know why? Because that is what ASAP is for.
The Armed Services Arts Partnership has a mission to “cultivate community and growth with veterans, service members, military families, and caregivers through the arts.” The whole point of ASAP is to allow the military community to work through their issues in a creative way. None of my classmates came into the room whole. All of us have some sort of trauma we are working through and were looking for a way to get help when maybe the traditional outlets weren’t there.
Looking back now I fully believe in the values that ASAP trying to demonstrate.
Community
My classmates are now family. I called on one of them when I was having a craptastic day and he dropped everything, drove 40min through Hampton Roads traffic, and took me to dinner just to make sure I was ok.
Trust, Honesty & Openness
My classmates have shared their PTSD, their trauma, their real stories of hurt without feeling like there is anyone judging them. We have all been through something that led us to ASAP and we learned quickly that being open and honest created great material to play with.
Respect
One major rule in the class was to be respectful. We didn’t talk over each other when someone was performing, say particularly derogatory remarks in our sets. We offered constructive remarks and remembered that all of us were new to this. There was time to workshop with each other and we all wanted to make each other better, not let someone go up and fail. Even on grad night, when one of the classmates forgot part of his set, you could hear all of us cheering him on from the back and getting him back into the mood to perform.
Creativity
Remember when I said I wasn’t funny? Turns out that if I put my mind to it and think a bit out of the box I can be! I managed to turn my divorce, horrible dating experiences and lesbian mom into one heck of a set thanks to great teachers and amazing mentors showing me how to get creative.
Humor
Thank to this course I now know how to find the funny in even the worst moments. I teach middle school, so this skill comes in handy on my rough days. But through the class we were taught how to find the funny, find the premise, find the punchline in everything. It’s a pretty effective stress-breaking skill to have.
Lifelong Learning
While I took the comedy class, ASAP offers creative writing, acting, storytelling, and improv classes along with independent one-class workshops that keep class graduates engaged in the program. My instructors and mentors all came from the program and wanted to keep giving back. ASAP aims to help the military community beyond just the eight-weeks or so that we are in our first class. They want to be a place where veterans can turn for years to help and grow and give back.
If you are interested in getting involved in the ASAP programs and are in the Virginia & DC area, visit ASAPASAP.org for more information on all of their upcoming workshops, classes, and get-togethers. I promise you won’t regret it.
PC: Brannan Blascak