2011 was a fabulous year for us, our daughter went to NYC and became a nationally ranked sprinter, the hubs completed Department Head School, and I passed my Comprehensive Exam for my Doctoral Program. And we were moving overseas…what could possibly go wrong?
I mean it wasn’t our first rodeo, we had PCS’ed three times overseas before and this would be our second time to Japan. We had our Hotel booked, airline tickets, pack-out was completed, and we were excited to start our new adventure. Fast-forward to our arrival overseas…the great Tsunami/Nuclear Fallout/Fukushima Daiichi plant disaster of 3/11/11 had just hit, which meant much of the base was operating at minimal staffing. Everywhere. Local nationals were working but not many Americans. The skeleton crew on base made it very difficult to accomplish our mandatory tasks to get settled into our new home. Making matters worse was that everything in Japan was a huge confusing mess. Then, after being there for three days, Murphy’s Law reared her head. The Hubs received the news that he was going to sortie (last minute unplanned underway) out, and had no idea when he would be back.
There it is: I now needed to purchase a car, find a home, schedule our HHG delivery, enroll the kids in school, write a dissertation, find a job, possibly find an outfit made of lead (because radiation), and pour myself a tall strong pineapple chuhai. Because nothing else can help you laugh instead of crying like a Chuhai can!
Sandra Dareing
Murphy’s Law of Deployment, or as I like to call her, MLOD, is a big ol’ spiteful B! Even if your spouse is on shore duty, you still are not safe from ole’ MLOD. Shortly after a PCS from sea duty to operational shore duty, my spouse was away for just a couple months of training. During that time, we lost our cat, found our cat, and then realized that our cat had been seriously injured. We ultimately had to say goodbye to our cat, in my arms, as my seven year old was brushing his teeth before school drop off. There is nothing like spending my morning holding the lifeless body of our beloved family pet, while realizing I have to explain this whole circle of life situation to my child.
My personal favorite wine pairing for such an occasion was the bottle of Italian Barolo that I had been saving for a nice dinner with the spouse, but duty calls and Barolo reported for duty that very evening, after a long talk with my son about the circle of life.
Heather Fay
Upon moving to Japan, I made sure we had roadside (English speaking) assistance, you know, in the event something were to go wrong while my husband was on a vessel in the South China Sea. So after a quick weekend getaway about 3 to 4 hours from base, my car decided not to start. It was just me, my children, spotty cell-phone reception, and people who could not understand me. I called roadside, they told ME to find a place to take the car. I explained that I did not speak Japanese and that I specifically paid for an English speaking roadside assistance in the event
I needed assistance, like translation services for when my car breaks down. I informed them that I needed THEM to find a place for me. I was obviously annoyed and he was annoyed that I was annoyed. He then asked if there was a male present and if he could possibly speak to a husband or someone (Male) other than me. This, may I add, is the equivalent of telling a woman to “calm down.” Long frustrating story cut short: Japanese mechanic shops will not deal with you if you do not speak Japanese. We had to call a friend of a friend who did speak Japanese to tell them to just take my money and fix my car…
I paired this situation with a nice Paloma. A nice glass of tequila with a splash of grapefruit, bubble water, and lime.
Karla Langham
Going back to the beginning, before we were even married and following my aspiring sailor/childhood sweetheart to his first duty station in “paradise” seemed like an amazing idea. Arriving to Hawaii, we knew the ship was in the midst of work-ups and deployment still a ways away, so we thought we would have time to settle in together, explore our new digs, buy a car, and receive our HHG’s. We were cute. Nope, he was being flown out to the ship on Day 4. I found myself, the lonely girlfriend, in an empty apartment, sleeping on an air mattress, and the only thing to keep me entertained was a 10 inch TV (VCR included in that bad boy), sitting on a cardboard box that my parents had shipped to me with some things to make me feel a piece of “home.” One of those mornings, I got shaken, literally, out of bed. Having no clue as what had just happened, the ground does not randomly shake in Boston, I stepped outside. There was no power accompanied by eeriness outside. I went to the car to listen to the radio, confirming a strong earthquake had struck. Some days I look back on that and wonder if that was the Navy’s way of welcoming me or sending me an omen… sigh..
Mariesa Holloway
I paired this situation with a cheap red wine, but the years that have since followed have been accompanied by nothing too far off.
There are often workups just before a deployment. These are ship exercises that can take your spouse away for a few days up to a few weeks. Right in that sweet spot when you are already trying to squeeze in 6-8 months of honey do’s and quality time, while preparing to be alone and also driving each other crazy with exactly those unrealistic expectations. So there I was, just having said goodbye. The ship has gotten underway again. It was a bit of a confusing goodbye this time, though. The schedule for the ship had not been finalized and though there was a chance we could see him again in a few weeks, it was more likely we would not see him for many months. Leave it to the Navy to provide yet one more spin to saying “see you later.”
On the day of his departure, I met some friends at a local park that had a beach and a good view of the Navy base. We had a fantastic time picnicking with the kids and waving goodbye to Daddy as the ship sailed right past us. Unfortunately, once I returned to my car I found that my window had been smashed and my purse had been stolen. And no, you pessimistic one, I had not left my purse laying on the car seat out in the open. Let’s just say losing my military ID, license, debit card, credit cards and cash mere minutes after saying goodbye to my spouse did not exactly make my night. I drove straight to a friend’s house, my hair blowing in the windowless breeze. She was kindly hosting a dinner for fellow ship spouses.
I walked in and promptly announced that the bottle of wine in my hand that I had brought for her was now in fact, for me. I poured a big old glass of red and started making my calls – police, bank, credit card companies, etc.
Cheers to the unexpected and thankfully the humor I kept because I landed in a house full of supportive spouses who would expect nothing less than a crazy story like this playing out the day our ship departed!
Karen Deltete
For six years I stood firm on not having a puppy. The timing was never right, we either had too small of children or Andy, my husband, was gone way too much for me to handle kids AND training a dog –a subject I know nothing about. Finally, Andy convinced me, timing felt absolutely perfect, and we even stumbled upon a pregnant Golden Retriever—EVEN MORE PERFECT. Andy is amazing with dogs and was ecstatic to begin training our retriever puppy, a puppy HE had always wanted. The kids were at a great age; I was assured I would have minimal participation with training and cleaning up after this dog…. And. And. And. Did I mention how perfect everything was? ….Then Andy found out he was leaving for a deployment in a matter of weeks.
His departure date coincided with the picking up of our newest addition to our family. Everything was slightly less than perfect. I had no clue how to raise a puppy! I was left with the responsibility of keeping two children alive and now this golden furry baby named Brooke. I am happy to report no family members, including the fur baby, were maimed or harmed under my care. I took the path of least resistance raising Brooke, which meant she never had her own bed (she slept in mine), she was never kennel trained (I never tried), she was allowed on the furniture, and she never learned to fetch.
Alicia Kerr Olsen
Looking back it feels like such a blur. Two amazing little kiddos, a dog with an old soul (thank goodness), and strong vodka with tonic water and a lime got me through.
Say you just finish a cross country PCS, in the middle of summer, and sign for your new house that you have yet to lay eyes on and your husband deploys a week later…totally a set up for success, right? Right.
We made it 4 hours before my children broke not one, but BOTH passenger door handles off on my car. Thank you to Amazon for getting me replacement handles the next day and to YouTube University for the lesson on how to take apart a door and replace the handles. Fast-forward two days: While in the morning drop off lane, just as the teacher is helping my kiddos get out of the car, my automatic running boards fail. Did you know failed running boards sound like you are pulling on the tails of about 100 cats all at once? Drove all the way home like that, where, again, thanks to YouTube University, I figured out how to locate the fuse and pull it. Enter the very next day as I’m loading groceries in the back of my large SUV, the lift gate fails and just drops ON me.
I didn’t even consult YouTube University because by that point, Thursday, I literally did not care and was just praying for Friday night. Enter Friday morning: I walked outside and the temp had dropped drastically overnight. It was almost 90 the day before. I hop in the car, close my door, which caused a really fun reaction: the top plastic part of my dashboard cracked in half. Thank you to YouTube University for instructing me that this is actually a thing.
Paired the end of that week with a double Rum and Diet Coke and a cheers to deployed daddies, broken cars, Amazon and YouTube.
Jennifer House
Some situations require a bit of cleansing. One thing any deployment can guarantee is a household pest or few. Perhaps you find a black widow in the bathtub, fleas on the dog, or a small dead snake in the hands of a two year old. The pièce de ré·sis·tance, is “Rat in the Toilet.” This creature swam through the base sewers and up two floors to wish me a good morning in my master bathroom.
After disposing of these unwanted guests, I highly recommend a glass, or bottle, of dry champagne. Their riddance is worth celebrating, and the effervescent bubbles will cleanse your palette a bit after you’ve finished scrubbing your hands like a surgeon. Cheers!
-Laurie Steiner
