Worlds apart, two friends create a space for military teens and give them a voice.
Written by Jessica Manfre, Photographed by Benjamin Rusnak
Advocacy regarding the military community’s pain points has become a hot topic in recent years. One noticeable gap was the ability to serve its youth, and two Army teens decided to fix it.
Matthew Oh and Elena Ashburn said they are the closest of friends, despite their agreed drastic differences in personality.
“We met in ninth grade when we were both stationed in Carlisle, Pennsylvania, at the US Army War College. The first time I remember meeting Matthew was in an English class and I thought he hated me because he’s just a very serious and studious person,” Ashburn laughed.
Matthew described Elena as wildly joyful and energetic while admitting he tends to be an observer before warming up. But they bonded quickly over their love of academia and extracurricular activities offered at their high school.
But after less than a year of fast friendship, they were stationed a world apart.
Separated
Oh’s father was transferred to South Korea and Ashburn’s to Florida. “That was really hard for us and all of our friends we made there, who were also military kids and had to move away,” he explained. “I personally had a pretty rough transition to Korea. It is probably the hardest move I’ve ever done. People say moving gets easier, but it really doesn’t in my experience and if anything, it’s gotten harder, just because of those deeper relationships.”
Though Ashburn’s move wasn’t as far or challenging as Oh’s, the new duty-station transition wasn’t easy for her. “I was really struggling because I felt like everyone needed me to be strong and resilient. But that’s not how I was feeling,” she said. “I remember just thinking what is all of my suffering for? For me, it was the start of thinking we should do something for other military kids like us.”
Blooming Through Difficulties
It was their shared difficulties which would lead to the idea to found Bloom, a space for military teens. “Elena and I, of course, kept in touch and tried to do some work; we’re very creative people, so we like to channel our emotions through creativity,” Oh added.
Initially, they thought Bloom: Empowering the Military Teen, would just be a blog. Launched in April 2020, it started with 15 military teens writing about their experiences and sharing ideas to combat the challenges of military teen life. Almost two years later the team is now 30 strong and they’ve partnered with organizations like the National Military Family Association.
It was the collaboration with NMFA which led to the first ever survey on the Military Teen Experience, which drew over 2,000 participants and even garnered the notice of People Magazine.
Among the results: 87% of teens reported feeling low or moderate happiness, 42% stated they were experiencing low mental-health and well-being, and nearly 20% had been made fun of for being a military kid. The Department of Defense has long recognized youth as being the next generation of potential troops, but the numbers of civilian teenagers willing to raise their right hand is alarmingly low at 13%. Bloom asked the military teenagers in its survey if they plan to wear the uniform, and the results were overwhelming: 65% said yes.
Our Future
The survey made a few things very clear: Military teenagers are clearly hurting and they may be the future of the Armed Forces.
“We’re reaching a lot more people in our community, not just the teens who were the original audience, but everyone else to show military teens are sort of this overlooked sector of the military community,” Ashburn said. “Matthew likes to say we’re not the cute little kids waving the flags when our parents come home from deployment, we’re teenagers. But it doesn’t make us any less worthy of having our voices heard and it doesn’t make our experiences any less valid.”
Another population on the backburner may be the children of retired or veteran service members, as the transition to civilian life doesn’t always go smoothly. Bloom has built a place for these youth as well.
What’s Next?
Both Elena and Matthew are heading to adulthood and facing their serving parent’s retirement, but are excited to begin to help the next wave and generation of military teenagers. “I hope Bloom continues to be run by military teens and for military teens—that was our founding principle,” Ashburn said. “There are so many organizations and coalition’s in this space which support military teens and kids. But they often speak for them and make decisions for them without including them in the conversation.”
Bloom will always have an open table for military teens, both said. They also teased about the big things coming in 2022 as far as collaborations and resources for their audience.
Despite all of the challenges, both agreed they wouldn’t change a moment of their lives being a military teen. “It’s grown me so much as a person. The biggest skill I’ve learned throughout military life is just empathy for others through hardships,” Oh said.
“I feel like military life has taught me not to take anything I have currently for granted because I don’t know how quickly it might go away,” Ashburn added. “It’s all about adapting to those new things and new experiences, embracing them instead of not being willing to embrace change.”
They also hope to encourage military teens to find their voice.
“You can’t always assume someone is going to be looking out for you, as an individual, as a student, as a community member. You have to find ways to advocate for yourself,” Oh explained. “Then turn it around and advocate for other people as well. It’s about supporting each other, but also making sure everyone has a voice in your community.”
Lastly, never be fearful or ashamed when admitting you are struggling.
“You aren’t alone and people love you and want to help you. There’s absolutely no shame or problem with admitting you need help, because we would far rather have you admit you need help than for you to struggle and suffer in silence. That’s one of my biggest pieces of advice,” Ashburn said. “There’s always going to be someone who loves you and wants to help. So, reach out if you need it. It’s an isolating lifestyle, but it doesn’t mean you have to be alone.”
Bloom will make sure military teens always know they are never alone.
Learn more at bloommilitaryteens.org.