“We just arrived at our new base a couple weeks ago. I found out about a spouse social and a professional networking event downtown. I can’t wait to go and meet new people! The mailman and the cashier at the commissary are nice, but let’s get real—I need some peeps!”
If only we could pack up our family, friends, neighbors, jobs, and that ‘great restaurant down the street’ and bring them with us!
If it is an overwhelming struggle and you are tempted to barricade yourself in your house and wallow in a pit of sorrow because you are once again ‘the new kid’ in a place that feels very foreign and uncomfortable, just remember how great it feels to have relationships with other people.
Although finding a new best friend is wonderful, one person won’t fill all of your needs so think about it in terms of building a tribe. In fact, you probably need multiple tribes. Tribes are great for camaraderie and support.
Think back on all the tribes that have meant something to you. Here are a few examples to get your mind rolling:
- family
- fun friends
- help-each-other-out neighbors
- church family
- work friends
- fraternity brothers or sorority sisters
- professional colleagues and mentors
- fitness buddies
- fellow special-interest fanatics
Some of these tribes are formal groups while others are not. The important part is that your tribes serve a purpose in your life and it is important to build them back up when you have to start over.
This is where things get difficult, because it is impossible to rebuild the exact same group when you can’t pack them up and take them with you on your PCS Move. Cultural and regional variations can also shake things up. For example, if you are an avid snowboarder, you are going to have a hard time finding anyone who enjoys snowboarding and will make the pilgrimage to get in some much needed power time if you are stationed in Florida.
If you are longing for your peeps, here are five ways to build your tribes…
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