8) ….and the rest of the things you don’t get done

Miles. This list spans miles.

9) ….and how many times you’ve frequented the ER

Enough times to make me grateful for TRICARE.

As you can see, this list is full of viable, completely unhealthy options for counting down a deployment.

And, lastly, if you get tired of adding things (it’s a lot of math, I know… no judgment), here’s another idea:

10) Flip over an hourglass of eternal sands

This one is easy. Scientifically calculate just how much sand you’d need to fill an enormous hourglass for the months/years your spouse is absent, grab a flatbed truck and head to the beach to load up. Watch painstakingly as each grain falls.

Fastest deployment ever.