“Hey, Sweetheart. We need to have the talk.” My husband’s kind, but firm, tone of voice on the other side of the phone let me know that he had seen the bank statement.
I knew what was coming. The unending charges to my local Chickfil-A, Panda Express, and Five Guys Burger and Fries had raised his concern. (Not to mention that I am now on a first name basis with the Starbucks barista.) I was eating my feelings and it was time for what I call the “three-month pep talk.” He said the normal things. “You’ve got this and I love you. But we could have bought a new espresso machine with that money. Should we rethink our dining out budget?”
For me, the first few months of a deployment cause an unexplainable amount of anxiety, change, and weariness. Trying to adapt to any schedule seems futile. I get overwhelmed and I have a set collection of habits that get me through deployment: takeout, tv, a lot of talking, and a sleep pile.
Cleaning…nah. A sign hangs in my kitchen above my sink that reads, “Don’t worry, dishes. No one is doing me either.” My laundry pile is slowly, but surely, morphing into something that could be seen creeping out of the Black Lagoon. My house could be most accurately described by using crime scene language – “There is evidence of an apparent struggle” or “distressed burglary.”
Either way, cooking is not happening. I am doing the self-aware and self-care responsible thing, right? Takeout? I’m outsourcing dinner. At least this is what I tell myself.
In addition to jumping in the truck to do the 4:30 dinner run, another coping mechanism for deployment survival is a good television marathon. I know that I’m getting a little too tired when all I want is a fresh pair of sweat pants and some good ol’ reruns. As an interesting factoid, I heard that the reason we enjoy reruns so much is because our brains already know what to expect. It is truly relaxing because we can completely check out. This deployment has already showcased binge watching marathons of all Downton Abby (plus the movie), a good ol’ Hart of Dixie replay, a whole lot of Survivor, and Firefly (I’m cool like that.)
After grabbing some wicked good BBQ, curling up on the couch, and sliding in some Netflix -minus the chill, you can find me on the phone. The rotation is usually my mom, and then my two best friends. It is safe to say that I talk to these people multiple times a day.
I usually finish the night in a Croods 2 style sleep pile. As it turns out, deployment has turned the master bedroom into everyone’s favorite hangout. At bedtime, there’s an enormous pile of children and dogs stacked up on about 5 million comforters. We eat one last bowl of cereal around 9:00 pm and hit the hay. It is a good thing that we home school because not one of us is up before 9:00 am.
These coping mechanisms are simply a result of having little to give and much to do. I’m certain that when my husband returns home- after the fun season of reintegration, things will return to a much more normal tempo.
I might actually sleep for eight hours…like in a row. Cooking will be a joyful experience again. And maybe, just maybe, the length of time that I spend in an elastic waistband might be reduced. I mean, a girl can hope, right?
Megan B. Brown is a seasoned military spouse and military missionary. She is the Military Liaison for the Speak Up Conference Global Missions Military Scholarship and the 2019-Armed Forces Insurance Robins AFB Military Spouse of the Year. She is passionate about military mission work and teaching and preaching about Jesus in and out of the local church. Her Bible study, “Summoned: Answering a Call to the Impossible,” published by Moody Publishers in Chicago, will release in April 2021. She lives in south Mississippi with her husband, Keith, and their energetic kiddos. She is a Bible teacher, speaker, and freelance writer. To learn more or connect with Megan, visit www.meganbbrown.com.