By guest author Brianne Guy
You have finally found a job you can tolerate, settled into your new routine, kids and puppies in daycare making friends, and you finally found your favorite shirt in the last box you unpacked. Life is starting to move forward again, in less of a swirl and more of a direction.
And then it is time to PCS again.
The thought of starting all over again is exhausting, especially since it feels like you just finished unpacking last week. Like any good military spouse, you get over the frustration, smile, and start your descent into controlled chaos once again. The stress of finding employment, a daycare, and a new home all piles up until it feels unbearable. If you could put it in a slogan, “Starting over…because someone else said so,” might ring true.
But does it have to be so terrible?
Who says starting over has to be bad or that we have to dread getting a fresh start? Why not see this time, despite its exhausting moments, as a way to reinvent yourself with each move. Here are some things to consider for your next move.
1. Try something, anything new
Have you ever wanted to try a paint & pour class or even a career change? A new duty station is the perfect time to start. There is no one to hold you to a certain standard or tell you what you should or shouldn’t be doing. Everything you do will be perceived as normal for you by others, meaning you can truly do anything without anyone thinking less of you. They will assume it is who you have always been. What would you do if you knew you would not be judged?
2. Spend time for you
Spending so much time and energy getting everyone else settled and happy will take a lifetime of sacrifice which leaves no time for you. Spending time on yourself doesn’t mean forgetting everyone else, but it does mean doing something that brings you joy. Dig out the Nintendo and get some screen time in or go buy some ingredients and try to master a homemade pasta sauce. Whatever brings you joy and allows “you time” do it. Everyone will be happier when you are happier.
3. Purge the old and embrace the now
Out with the old, especially if it is dragging you down. I’m not just referring to the old bookcase that once belonged to your grandmother, but is so heavy, ugly, and broken that you’re afraid to put something on it. Holding on to memories, physical things, and fears is so easy to do, especially when they are the only consistent things through endless moves and deployments, each carrying boundless uncertainty. If something is only weighing you down, it isn’t helping you move forward. Jump in with both feet and leave it at your last duty station. Make each new duty station an opportunity for a fresh start on a better life.
Starting over is never easy, but if you change your mindset and choose to see each PCS to a new duty station as a way to reinvent you and your family, you might find the hidden adventure in every new duty station.
