By Louisa Brizendine Curry
The Expert Husband Badge (EHB) is a special skills badge awarded to any United States Armed Services personnel who demonstrate mastery of critical family tasks.
To receive the badge, full completion of all the tasks outlined must be completed.
- PT Test (househusband edition)
- Land Navigation (body or home edition)
- Ruck (3 hour date, intellectual conversation)
While operating on only 4 hours of sleep, you must wake up & complete the following events.
PT Test: Events
- Make coffee; just to not get a chance to sit down and drink it.
- Cook breakfast while simultaneously washing the dishes to ensure minimal mess while entertaining the kid(s). Extra credit: make sure the sink is rinsed out and clean.
- Vacuum the entire house under 5 minutes while repeatedly getting distracted by a toddler trying to go airborne off some piece of furniture. Extra credit: empty the vacuum. Extra, extra credit: do it with a smile!
- In 25 minutes or less shop for the home on a budget ensuring no one’s requests fall through the cracks, risking tantrums or meltdowns all awhile corralling the rogue kids asking for the 15th time why they can’t have something made of straight sugar. Extra credit: don’t leave anything behind!
- Find something to deep clean: muddy shoes, patio furniture, the car, anything! Complete with your kiddo, practicing active parenting: teaching them the importance of equipment management.
- Find something to organize, be it the stack of paperwork by the door, the hallway closet, or garage. Think Clutter = non performance.
Land Nav (Body edition)
Romantically locate all points on your Spouse, spending over 20 minutes in an attempt to ensure correct coordinates.
Land Nav (Home edition)
In under 3 minutes locate all 8 household points outlined by your spouse. This can either be something such as which drawer the scissors go in, where the extra toilet paper is stored or where a kiddos favorite sippy cup lives.
Ruck
Three intentional hours of enthusiastic conversation.
Extra credit: have a plan of what you’d like to discover about your spouse!