As we roll into February, I like to think about the relationships in my life, not just between me and my husband, or our kids, but the friends who have stood beside me every day since we were children.
One of my best friends, Kelci, has been by my side since third grade! We met coincidentally in the bathroom at the elementary school. We were both changing into our little bumblebee costumes for our class trail mix commercial and I heard tiny sniffles coming from the next stall. I asked the little girl if she was ok, and she said she needed help with her costume, the wire was poking her, and she couldn’t fix it. Of course, I helped right away, we fixed her costume and then got to rejoin our class for the commercial. Kelci and I have been best friends ever since! As children, we already had to practice long-distance friendship because after that year in school her family moved away to another state. We were learning how to write letters in school, that’s right…snail mail…and we wrote to each other as often as possible, also sending little trinkets when we had them. I really believe this prepared us for the military long-distance friendship we would later endure.
My other bestie, Kara, and I met a while later when we were in high school. Her family was new to our church and our youth leader asked me to go talk to her. At the time, this was completely out of my comfort zone. Of course, I wanted new people to feel welcome, but I had no idea how to start that conversation and was always worried that the new person wouldn’t like me, or I would scare them off somehow. Amidst those feelings of insecurity, I felt a gentle little nudge in my heart, saying to talk to this girl even if I was afraid. When I introduced myself, she smiled at me, and we spent the rest of the evening chatting and getting to know each other. We even played with her younger siblings who kept making us laugh. Our friendship isn’t complicated and sometimes we don’t need to say anything at all, we just understand each other, and I am so thankful for that!
Both amazing women were bridesmaids in my wedding, have traveled out to see me wherever we were stationed at the time and even love my kids like their own. They are simply treasures that I would never be able to live without. As most of you know, being a military spouse can throw a serious wrench in maintaining relationships, especially over distance and time. Here are three things that have helped Kelci, Kara and I stay in touch over the years.
First, we text almost every day.
None of us are very fond of talking on the phone, but we all are great with texting. Even if the message is just “Hey! I haven’t heard from you in a few days, are you alive?!” It is a way to show we care and are thinking of the other person.
Second, is the Marco Polo app.
We love sending short videos so we can see each other in real time. It is also sometimes easier to send a quick video with kids running around than trying to type out a long text.
Finally, we have all tried to travel to each other when we can.
Recently, I discovered a great discount airline and was able to fly to Kelci for her baby shower! Both Kelci and Kara have come to visit me when I’ve had babies too. It does get hard sometimes, but we know how much the other friend cares about us, and our families, so we make travel happen whenever possible.
Life in the military is hard enough, wrought with its own struggles. Take the time to be thankful for the friends who stay by your side through the ups and downs and try one of these tips to better communication!