By Micah Peppers, Marine Corps Spouse
Deployed in Japan with the Marine Corps, Capt. Jake “Red Stripe” Frederick took off in his F/A-18 Hornet on the evening of Dec. 6, 2016. His wife, Kiley, and him had a ritual: he would always text, “safe on deck” upon his landing.
No text came.
The next day, in Beaufort, S.C., Kiley woke up around 6 a.m. with a knot in her stomach. She knew something wasn’t right. “Are you back? I love you.” Message undeliverable. Shortly thereafter, she received a phone call from the Marine Air Group Commander (MAG CO). Something’s happened.
Jake’s ejected. We are looking. Who can we call? Kiley said a name: Allison.
Allison, a squadron spouse with Kiley, immediately spread word to the other spouses. Within minutes Kiley’s house was filled with the friends she needed most. THE NEWS Twenty-four hours later, Kiley received a knock on the door no spouse ever wants. The MAG CO, Base Chaplain, and the Casualty Assistance Calls Officer (CACO) stood on the other side.
The tears that had dried from the initial news of the crash began to flow again throughout the house. They had found Jake’s body. The next few days were a total blur. The squadron spouses packed up Kiley and Jake’s home, took care of their son, and cooked her meals. Her family drove up from Texas to be with her, and her father, a pastor, led a group in prayer and song. When asked how she got through this dark time, her answer came easily,
“My faith in God and the knowledge that Jake was a Christian. And for the love of the spouses who never left my side.”
The Support
At some point, the CACO asked Kiley, “Do you authorize The Wingman Foundation (TWF) to fundraise for you?” Kiley had never heard of TWF, but she agreed. As Kiley, and the friends and family surrounding her, would continue to learn, TWF would play an integral part in the support of her family, not only on the day of the mishap, but for months to come.
In August 2017, the director of TWF, Ricky Savage, invited Kiley to attend some of their upcoming events. Kiley felt it was now time to volunteer and get involved with the organization that had helped her during her hardest times.
“It was not only healing for me, but what I noticed was that it was an organization run entirely by volunteers, and these people were working with so much passion. I wanted to give back and help spread the word.”
The organization had previously organized a 5K run; it did well, but did not receive the numbers or exposure they had hoped for. In summer of 2018, Savage approached Kiley and asked her how she would feel about transitioning the run to honor Jake. The Red Stripe Run (RSR) was born. On Dec. 1, 2018, RSR took place in Jake’s hometown of Corpus Christie, Texas. TWF also set up remote locations worldwide. They set a goal to raise $7,500. To their surprise, they raised over $20,000.
The day after the run, Kiley decided she wanted a bigger role in TWF. She was ready. “Unfortunately, there will be more mishaps. I didn’t want anyone to be like me and not know about this organization,” she said. Mike Rogers, TWF executive director, encouraged Kiley to work directly with the mishap families. Kiley thought back to the days after Jake’s death when she had received a call from Christina Kuss, who had also lost her husband, Capt. Jeff Kuss, only six months earlier. Christina told Kiley, “You’re not OK, and you won’t be for a long time, but you will make it. “ Kiley agreed.
The Wingman Foundation is a nonprofit organization whose mission is to honor the sacrifices of fallen warriors in Naval Aviation, as well as provide support to the families. Their immediate goal is to connect with families as quickly as possible and stay for as long as needed. They are there for travel, lodging, memorial expenses, and have just recently expanded to cover physical memorials, scholarships, and memorial events.
Four days later, and one day short of the two-year anniversary of Jake’s death, an F/A-18 collided with a KC-130J off the coast of Japan, the same location of Jake’s crash. “The similarities were not lost on me. I thought, ‘I can’t do this. This isn’t what I meant,’” Kiley said. But she persevered. Kiley picked up the phone and spoke to the new Gold Star wives and repeated the same words that Christina Kuss had said to her two years earlier. Kiley is now the head of communications for the growing organization.
“To be able to talk to the spouses, and tell them that I know what they are going through has been a really incredible experience,” Kiley said.
TWF to date has raised $1.5 million and supported families of 24 mishaps since their establishment in 2014.
“I was recently in the airport in New York City,” she said. “I had the TWF logo attached to my backpack, and I was tapped on the shoulder. A gentleman looked at me and said, ‘ Thank you for supporting that organization. They are incredible.’”