“Powerful… Kander displays a level of vulnerability not often seen in political memoirs, offering a bracing portrait of untreated PTSD and an insightful psychological profile of political ambition. Readers will appreciate the candor of this harrowing tale.”
Publishers Weekly
“Kander’s advice is urgent and relevant: ‘Either you deal with your trauma, or your trauma deals with you’… A heartfelt message borne of pain and true sacrifice.”
Kirkus Reviews
“In Invisible Storm, author, soldier, activist, and political leader Jason Kander generously details his quest to manage and support his mental health as a road map for those who may be wary of the journey. With spare and unflinching narrative and unexpectedly humorous insights, he rejects the culture of shame and denial, boldly detailing how he often used his political career and ambitions to avoid confronting personal struggles. More importantly, he invites the reader inside his reckoning and the critical work of the aftermath.”
Stacey Abrams, politician and author of Lead from the Outside
“If you think war is rough, try politics! Jason Kander has written a deft, wonderful book about trying to serve our country in combat and in government. The war didn’t break him, but politics almost did. Woven through this extraordinary narrative is an important and enormously helpful account of his struggle with PTSD. I read Invisible Storm in one sitting and will be thinking about it for a long time to come.”
Sebastian Junger, bestselling author of Tribe
“Invisible Storm is refreshingly raw. It’s almost haunting and yet so full of hope. I absolutely loved the choice to include Jason’s wife Diana’s first-person perspective throughout. In telling their story, the Kanders are telling the story of countless military families, but really, this is a book for anyone who has struggled with mental health or simply loved someone who has.”
Rachel Vindman, cohost of the podcast The Suburban Women Problem
“Invisible Storm is a truly special book. This combination of honesty, thoughtfulness, urgency, and vulnerability is not common in leaders, and Jason demonstrates boundless occupancy of all of these traits. You will learn, you will laugh, you will cry, you will think, and you will act. I’m thankful for everything that this book will do to make our society better.”
Wes Moore, New York Times bestselling author of The Other Wes Moore
“This book is a must read. It’s powerful and inspirational. There will be another debate on a future date about sending an American army to war. When it happens, I hope the people deciding will have read this book. I hope Jason Kander will be one of those people deciding.”
Steve Schmidt, Principal at SES Strategies
“A beautiful read for those who know the struggle of trauma and mental illness. An even better read for those who don’t.”
Mark Duplass, filmmaker and actor
On July 5, Mariner Books is proud to publish INVISIBLE STORM: A Soldier’s Memoir of Politics and PTSD by political wunderkind and former army intelligence officer Jason Kander. Already being described as “important and enormously helpful” (Sebastian Junger) and “a book for anyone who has struggled with mental health or simply loved someone who has” (Rachel Vindman), this is a haunting, powerful memoir about impossible choices—and how sometimes walking away from the chance of a lifetime can be the greatest decision of all.
In 2017, President Obama, in his final oval office interview, was asked who gave him hope for the future of the country. Jason Kander’s was the first name he mentioned. Suddenly Jason was a national figure, barnstorming the country and preparing a run for the White House. He was already a rising star in the Democratic party. You may remember Jason’s
2016 viral campaign ad where he assembled a rifle blindfolded while advocating for stronger background checks, or his 2018 political book Outside the Wire that helped introduce him to the national stage.
But what no one knew was that despite his meteoric political ascent, Jason’s service in Afghanistan as an intelligence officer had haunted him from the moment he got home. For eleven years, he suffered from PTSD – a secret he kept from everyone, including himself. He didn’t believe he’d earned it. Yet Jason thought endlessly about the civilians he could not help and the fellow soldiers he left behind. His survivor’s remorse was acute, his nightmares were constant, and his defenses spiked to alarming levels that tested the strength of his marriage and closest friendships.
As his presidential prospects blossomed, Jason’s condition worsened. He thought going home might help, so he shocked the political world by leaving the presidential field to run for Mayor of Kansas City instead. Even as he cruised toward a landslide victory, privately Jason continued to spiral. He was seized by depression and suicidal thoughts. Finally, recognizing the severity
With INVISIBLE STORM, Jason has written the book he himself needed in his darkest moments. It is a no-holds-barred account of what it is like to be touted as a top contender for the highest office in the world, while at war with personal demons. Brutally honest and emotionally raw, Jason’s account of his hard-won fight for a mind at peace reframes what courage really looks like and provides hope for those still on the journey towards healing.
Among the important topics and insights Kander explores in the book:
- The importance of recognizing and accepting treatment for trauma, specifically PTSD. Many people have trouble processing the complicated feelings around mental health struggles or get stuck in a headspace of “it wasn’t that bad” or, like Jason, feeling they didn’t “do enough to earn” a diagnosis of PTSD. Jason’s story can help others who are struggling (or know someone who is) name the problem and, hopefully, seek help in overcoming it.
- The impact of trauma on military spouses and families. Throughout the book, Jason’s wife Diana shares her own recollections and gives valuable insight into the sacrifices and challenges that military spouses wrestle with.
- What PTSD actually feels like. From night terrors to hyper-vigilance to intrusive thoughts, Jason sheds new light on the experience of PTSD for those who live with it.
- The vital work of the Veterans Community Project. Jason now works with the organization to reduce homelessness among veterans and to share what he’s learned about re-entry.
- The impact and relevancy of the U.S. withdrawal from Afghanistan. As we approach the 1-year mark, it’s important to reflect on how the news and images from last summer’s withdrawal were triggering to many veterans, including Jason. He found a renewed sense of purpose and camaraderie in founding the Afghan Rescue Project to help evacuate hundreds of Afghans safely out of the country.
- His political rise and fall, and the often-rough realities of a life dedicated to public service. At a time when our nation desperately needs our best and brightest to ascend to leadership positions, is the toll of our “always on” culture and never-ending social media spotlight too much to ask of any individual representative?
- Modern masculinity and vulnerability. Jason’s story illustrates the complicated emotions and concerns many men face around seeking mental health treatment.
- Parenting in the wake of trauma. Jason and Diana reflect on their own parenting struggles and triumphs and the challenges parents face when discussing complex feelings with their children.
SEE JASON KANDER DISCUSS INVISIBLE STORM THIS SUMMER
WASHINGTON, DC ST. LOUIS, MO | Thursday, July 7 at 7pm ET Thursday, July 14 at 7pm CT
- Politics & Prose Hosted by St. Louis County Library & Left Bank Books
- 5015 Connecticut Avenue NW Washington, D.C. 20008 @ Mirowitz Performing Arts Center
- In conversation with Don Calloway 2 Millstone Campus Drive / St. Louis, MO 63146
- Free & open to the public In conversation with Missouri State Senator Jill Schupp
- * Ticketed Event (details here)
KANSAS CITY, MO VIRTUAL EVENT | Tuesday, July 12 at 7pm CT Tuesday, July 26 at 12:30pm PT (3:30pm ET)
- Hosted by Rainy Day Books @ Unity Temple on the Plaza Hosted by the Commonwealth Club via Zoom
- 707 W 47th Street / Kansas City, Missouri 64112 In conversation with Congressman Adam Schiff
- In conversation with KCUR host Steve Kraske Free event (RSVP required)
- * Ticketed Event (details here)
ABOUT THE BOOK:
INVISIBLE STORM A Soldier’s Memoir of Politics and PTSD
Mariner Books | On Sale: 7/5/22 Hardcover | ISBN: 9780358658962| $28.99
Also available in E-Book and Digital Audio, 16-page B&W photo insert (images available upon request)
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
JASON KANDER, a former Army Captain who served in Afghanistan, was the first millennial ever elected to a statewide office. He is the president of national expansion at Veterans Community Project, a non-profit organization, and host of Majority 54, a popular political podcast. Jason’s first book Outside the Wire was a New York Times bestseller. He lives in Kansas City with his family. Learn more at JasonKander.com or follow him @JasonKander on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.
A conversation with Jason Kander, author of INVISIBLE STORM: A Soldier’s Memoir of Politics and PTSD
Q: What inspired you to write INVISIBLE STORM, and why now?
Jason Kander: If this book had existed fourteen years ago, I believe I would have gotten help back then, but unfortunately it didn’t exist, and so I decided to write the book I’d needed all those years.
There are so few depictions of PTSD in our culture that aren’t some version of what I refer to as PTSD Porn. Just a voyeuristic and tragic look at someone spiraling. With veterans it’s usually someone beating their spouse, abusing drugs, or robbing a bank. Sometimes it’s all three at once.
That’s why I didn’t even learn how common it was for PTSD treatment to be successful until I was already months into therapy. When I started to get to a point where I could manage my PTSD, I assumed I’d never really had it, because I didn’t think it was something you could overcome. My therapist had to show me studies demonstrating that the majority of veterans who committed to the VA program actually did get better. That’s when I knew that I wanted to play a role in modeling post-traumatic growth, so that I could demonstrate what no one had demonstrated to me: That PTSD is not a terminal diagnosis. If you commit to the work of therapy, it’s the beginning of your journey to something really worth pursuing.
Q: How is this book different than your 2018 book Outside the Wire?
JK: Outside the Wire is a great read about politics. That book is, in a nutshell, how to get involved politically, maintain hope, and not become a shitty person. It was a pretty easy book to write, because it was just some of my best stories from the stump over the years. Every story in that book had been road tested for years by the time I wrote them down, and I’ve had a lot of people tell me they found that book inspiring.
But Invisible Storm is a memoir about what was really happening behind the eyes of the man telling all those stories on the stump. What was really going on in my life – including the stuff I wasn’t acknowledging to myself at the time. While Outside the Wire is a collection of useful vignettes for a life of public service, Invisible Storm is a first-hand account of what it’s like to battle an undiagnosed psychological disorder while pursuing the presidency. And the third act is about what it’s like to battle that disorder head-on while a decent size swath of the American public waits to find out whether or not you’ll ever show back up and – if you do – what the heck that will look like.
You know, just your standard coming-of-age tale.
Q: What motivated you to join ROTC when you were still in law school?
JK: Growing up, I was inclined toward the idea of public service. It wasn’t just that I admired the way my grandfather and my great-grandfather put their lives on pause to fight in WWI and WWII before returning home to pick up where they left off. More importantly, that just made sense to me. Prior to 9/11, the idea of joining the military existed in the ‘maybe someday’ corner of my mind. As in maybe someday I’ll join as a reserve military lawyer or something. But when 9/11 happened, it went from my maybe someday to now. And I wanted to feel I could get in and directly impact the likelihood that more soldiers got home safely. For me, that meant becoming an army intelligence officer instead of an army lawyer.
Of course, like most veterans, I never had the satisfaction of knowing my service had truly made some great quantifiable impact, and like most veterans, I struggled with that for a long time.
Q: In 2018, you had a pivotal one-on-one meeting with President Obama, who gave you a confidence boost to run for president. But you write that once on the campaign trail, instead of feeling excited and energized, you felt depressed. And while running for mayor of Kansas City you started to have frightening, suicidal thoughts. Do you recall the moment when you decided to seek treatment?
JK: Three months into the mayoral campaign, we had a commanding lead, but I was getting worse. I had been getting worse for a long time, but it was beginning to feel as though I was getting worse faster, and I was thinking pretty regularly about ending my life. That frightened me. I didn’t really want to die, or at least I didn’t want to want to die. Having run out of ideas, I called the Veterans Crisis Line. The woman on the other end of the call asked me if I’d had suicidal thoughts and I said yes. I expected her to consider me unworthy of these problems or to react as though there was something wrong with me. She was so calm and routine and warm about it all that I could tell from the tone of her voice that I didn’t sound any different than anyone else she’d talked to that night or any night. I knew then that I wasn’t different – I realized I’d been hurt over there and for ten years I hadn’t known.
Q: Were you surprised when you were diagnosed with PTSD? You write in the book that you didn’t feel you “earned” that condition. What did you mean by that?
JK: I realized I had PTSD the night I heard that woman’s voice on the Veterans Crisis Line. I googled PTSD immediately after I hung up and finally read it with an open mind. It was like it was written about me. Intrusive thoughts. Hyper-vigilance. Feeling unsafe. Night terrors. Anger. Shame. Guilt. Self-loathing. Depression. That shocked me. It was a completely different way to understand myself. When I was diagnosed a few days later, I was over the shock, and by then I felt almost a sense of relief, because finally after a decade of wondering why the hell I was like this, why I couldn’t feel joy, why I couldn’t feel hardly anything, why I couldn’t sleep or relax . . . finally I had an answer. And even though I was still wracked with depression and PTSD, at least I finally had a glimmer of hope. I realized that understanding the situation gave me a fighting chance of finally improving it. And, frankly, I felt seen. It was clear the clinicians at the VA looked at me and saw something they saw all the time, and that made me feel less alone.
Q: Throughout the memoir, you refer to PTSD as “The Monster.” It’s impossible to fully describe any medical condition in words, but if you had to tell someone what PTSD actually feels like – what would you say?
JK: To me, it felt like a constant threat right behind my shoulders in a blind spot I often couldn’t quite see no matter how hard I tried. Like it was always there, either terrorizing me or about to terrorize me. Sometimes it felt like my shirt was too tight, and other times it felt like everyone in the world was oblivious to how dangerous everything was, and I had no choice but to put all my energy into preventing danger to myself and my family.
Q: How has dealing with PTSD post-diagnosis affected your outlook on life and work?
JK: It has made me better at everything I do, but most of all it has made me a better husband, father, son, brother, and friend. It has also allowed me to extend compassion to myself, and most of the time even to like myself. Probably the greatest gift of all of it is that it’s given me back the chance to be a participant in my life. I went over a decade with almost no ability to be fully present with my family or my friends. The only time I felt present in a moment was when adrenaline was involved. As a politician, that meant I only felt alive when I was performing for others in some capacity. Now, I’m usually able to be present with my loved ones, and that means I no longer feel as though I’m missing out on my own life.
Q: It’s clear from the book that you maintained your deep love of family and country—and your dry sense of humor!—throughout your challenges with mental health. What other values or traits do you think helped in your healing?
Q: Throughout the memoir, you refer to PTSD as “The Monster.” It’s impossible to fully describe any medical condition in words, but if you had to tell someone what PTSD actually feels like – what would you say?
JK: To me, it felt like a constant threat right behind my shoulders in a blind spot I often couldn’t quite see no matter how hard I tried. Like it was always there, either terrorizing me or about to terrorize me. Sometimes it felt like my shirt was too tight, and other times it felt like everyone in the world was oblivious to how dangerous everything was, and I had no choice but to put all my energy into preventing danger to myself and my family.
Q: How has dealing with PTSD post-diagnosis affected your outlook on life and work?
JK: It has made me better at everything I do, but most of all it has made me a better husband, father, son, brother, and friend. It has also allowed me to extend compassion to myself, and most of the time even to like myself. Probably the greatest gift of all of it is that it’s given me back the chance to be a participant in my life. I went over a decade with almost no ability to be fully present with my family or my friends. The only time I felt present in a moment was when adrenaline was involved. As a politician, that meant I only felt alive when I was performing for others in some capacity. Now, I’m usually able to be present with my loved ones, and that means I no longer feel as though I’m missing out on my own life.
Q: It’s clear from the book that you maintained your deep love of family and country—and your dry sense of humor!—throughout your challenges with mental health. What other values or traits do you think helped in your healing?
JK: All those years ignoring everything except whatever career pursuit would quiet the invisible storm in my mind meant I was also ignoring my physical health. I ate poorly, didn’t sleep, and generally didn’t take care of myself. When all that stress stopped living in my lower back, it allowed me to start working out again the way I did in the Army. Today, nutrition and fitness are a major part of my life. I feel like at least ten years younger now and I’ve even joined a men’s adult baseball team. I play baseball games 2-3 nights a week with former college players and even some former pros, and it’s an absolute blast. There’s no question I feel the best on the days I move my body the most, and so I prioritize making time for it as often as possible.
Q: You have since thrown your time, expertise, energy and passion into the Veterans Community Project. Tell us more about the organization.
JK: Veterans Community Project was founded by a group of combat veterans in Kansas City. I got a VIP tour during my mayoral campaign and it was one of the few truly inspiring experiences of those few months for me. It just felt like home. VCP’s vibe is like if a forward operating base in Afghanistan and a startup in Silicon Valley had a baby. When I
needed help navigating the VA a few weeks later, I went through their outreach center, and they got me scheduled for weekly therapy almost right away. The place saved my life.
The Outreach Center is vitally important in confronting veteran suicide and the villages of tiny homes with wrap around services take veterans from the street back into full participants in communities with an 85% success rate.
Three years ago, I joined as President of National Expansion. Since then, we’ve grown to Denver, St. Louis, Sioux Falls, and Oklahoma City, with more cities coming soon. It’s the best civilian job I’ve ever had.
Q: You surprised everyone when you left the presidential field to run for Mayor of Kansas City instead, and again when you dropped out of the mayoral race. A lot of people saw you as the future of the Democratic party. Do you think you’ll ever get back into politics?
JK: Right now, I’m doing a meaningful job I enjoy, laughing a lot with my wife, coaching our son’s Little League team, holding dance parties with my daughter, playing on a baseball team, and using my platform to help people – including by staying very active in politics. I still fight for things I care about, but I’m not going to run for office anytime soon and I don’t know whether I ever will again. Maybe I will. I don’t know. And I’m really ok with that, which is a huge change.
I used to think obsessively about the future because the present was intolerable. Now I’m enjoying my life and I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ve earned that. America and I are square. I still choose to serve my country in a myriad of ways, but I no longer do anything because I think I should. I do things because I care about them or because I enjoy them, but never because I think I have to. Maybe that distinction sounds like parsing, but to me it’s an enormous change from where I was a few years ago, and I’m just not ready to give it up. Not yet anyway.
Q: Your memoir exposes the often-rough realities of a life dedicated to public service. Do you think the toll of our “always on” culture is too much to ask of our representatives? What advice would you give someone looking to get into politics about how to protect their mental space?
JK: I have some advice I give about taking care of yourself, putting time in the calendar for yourself and your family, but mostly what I do when I talk to people running for office is something no one else ever does: I don’t ask them about polling or fundraising or strategy. I know from experience they talk about that all day. I talk to them like a friend who understands they are a human being with value beyond their approval rating.
Q: I’d like to ask a question of your wife, Diana, whose own memories are layered throughout Invisible Storm. Diana – how can reading about your experience as a military spouse and partner to someone suffering from PTSD help others who might be in a similar position now?
Diana Kander: PTSD is contagious. And like secondhand smoke, it can cause damage to the loved ones of the person who actually experienced the trauma. I didn’t learn about secondary PTSD until well into Jason’s treatment at the VA, but once I did, it explained so much of our experience together and just how much his PTSD had impacted me. I want to share this message with as many people as I can so that they can love and take care of a family member who is struggling without also losing themselves in the process.
Q: Together, you and Diana discuss what it was like to parent in the wake of your PTSD. What advice would you both give to other parents on how to talk to kids about trauma and mental health?
JK & DK: The biggest thing we learned in our individual therapies was how to regulate our nervous system to control the symptoms of PTSD. We’ve been trying to teach that same skillset to our kids. To become aware of their body’s response to stressful situations and learn how to manage that stress in a healthy way. PTSD or not, we believe this is a key skillset for our kids as they grow up.
Q: Do you think that pulling our troops out of Afghanistan was the right thing to do? Was hearing that news triggering for you?
JK: Yes, it was right to end our long overdue military presence in Afghanistan. At first, yes, it was a seriously triggering event. But eventually, as I became more and more involved with evacuating Afghans I knew and then hundreds of Afghan allies I didn’t personally know, I recognized the experience as an all-new trauma. I co-founded an organization called Afghan Rescue Project and we’ve now gotten nearly two thousand at-risk men, women, and children safely out of the country, but it has come with a lot of trauma.
I’ve gone back to weekly appointments with my therapist at the VA and that’s really helping me work through what has been a difficult ten months, but the difference now is that I know what to do and I know I have to address it. It’s only been about a month but I can feel myself getting back on track.
Q: What do you most hope readers will take away from INVISIBLE STORM?
JK: I want anyone who has experienced trauma or loved someone who has – or just anyone who has suffered mental health challenges – to learn what I learned: Treatment is worth it. Post-traumatic growth is real and it is achievable and you don’t have to feel like this forever.