Going into a deployment can put a huge strain on a marriage. Often times leaving both people in the relationship feeling vulnerable and insecure. Any spouse’s fear of infidelity is a real concern.
This is something that you hear about on a regular basis within the military community. Post after post asking for marriage or divorce advice on the military spouse pages. Telling the all too common story of the service member falling out of love and cheating, even while they are deployed. A story of heartache and betrayal that leaves so many spouses wondering if they too could end up in the same position. Adultery within the military is a criminal offense, so why is it so relatively common? Is marriage no longer looked at as it once was, a sacred vow that two people make to be together forever through good times and in bad? Are military marriages happening too quickly, before they could even comprehend the difficulties this life brings? Do we now live within such a promiscuous culture that it drives couples away from working through problems every marriage faces?
Giving up on the life they built together because they no longer want to work through any issues… Marriage has never been known to be easy. It takes an immense amount of work and patience. The idea of spending the rest of your life with someone you love means you would walk through fire with them. Seeking out another who is not your partner is inexcusable. In so many of these situations, lust seems to be winning.
Being apart for months at a time, especially with a lack of communication, can set up a chain effect for marriage failure. Often times leading to one seeking out that emotional connection that is no longer there. The service member surrounded by so many others going through the same deployment as they are. Offering the ideal connection of having something in common. The thrill of stepping outside of your morally acceptable comfort zone makes it even more appealing. Growing the idea that this secret relationship that satisfies the latest need is acceptable. Leading from emotional to physical relations, crossing a boundary that can never truly be taken back. Often times taking a whole family that was created in love and dismantling it forever. Leaving no room for reconciliation.
In a time when deployments are rapid and being together is rare, military marriages need to be built on a strong foundation. A foundation of faithfulness, support, and honesty. Creating a relationship that can stand the test of time. Working together to build a life that never gives the impulse to stray. Cherishing the values of a traditional marriage where your partner is the only one!