February is here and with it comes aisles and aisles of red boxes filled with hearts, teddy bears, and flowers all carefully placed for us to purchase for our loved one. This festive display is meant to spark excitement and provide the convenience of helping us select the perfect gift. What if you’re just not feeling it? Where is the aisle of cards that say, “I appreciate you. I’m not sure if I like you, but we’re surviving so cheers to that!” I doubt this is a commercial option (yet), so let’s unpack three ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day when you’re not sure if love is really in the air.
Be Your Own Valentine
In this military lifestyle it is easy to get caught up in putting everything else before yourself. The mission, the family, your relationship, your friends and the hundreds of other curveballs that will be thrown your way. For this Valentine’s Day, try to prioritize yourself and speak your own love language. If you’re not sure what your Love Language is, I’d recommend doing a quick Google search on Dr. Gary Chapman’s work. With a simple survey, you can identify your love language. From there you can choose ways to show yourself a little love. This could include treating yourself to your favorite meal, creating a playlist to enjoy, booking a massage or even making time to journal. Creating space to love on yourself is critical before trying to love on someone else. You can’t pour from an empty cup so prioritize yourself.
Spark Joy With Kindness
Whether your relationship is firing on all cylinders or barely getting by, prioritizing kindness towards your spouse this Valentine’s Day can help move you both in a positive direction. Examples may include leaving notes where your spouse may find them, scheduling a movie night to watch their favorite film or making the time to allow them to feel seen, heard and respected. This doesn’t have to cost any additional money, but the investment of time and attention can yield the spark of joy that you both may be needing.
Share How You Feel…For Real
Although this holiday is meant to celebrate love, I think we should all start with celebrating honesty. Let’s normalize the fact that it is okay to not be okay. Let’s create opportunities to share the reality of where we are and desire of where we want to be in our relationships. This might look like scheduling time for therapy, chatting with a trusted friend or sharing your truth in the 2024 Military Marriage Survey. You can find support providers and the survey at www.militarymarriageday.com. Sharing how you really feel is freeing and can start your process of healing so that you can start feeling the love.
This Valentine’s Day, let’s be intentional about caring for ourselves and our relationships. We owe it to ourselves to honor however we are feeling. If you want the balloons, flowers and chocolates, go ahead and treat yourself. If not, that’s okay too. Take control of how you celebrate and do it with love.