What influence/impact has family had on your career as a Soldier? What influence/impact has family had on your career as Miss USA?
I think it’s easier to support a soldier as a family member if you’ve been a soldier before. When I first joined, my dad and my mom did a really good job at helping me understand the military dynamic and how to understand the organization as a whole. Especially my sister and my brother. Everyone is enlisted but me and they never let me forget it.
I’m the only officer. They are able to give the enlisted perspective. There were times that I would call my sister, who was an E-5 two years ago, and say, “Hey, I’m dealing with an issue with a soldier. How do I handle it? What do they mean by this?” My sister had been in a lot longer than I have and she was able to give me the perspective of a previously enlisted soldier. There is no way to explain how awesome of a support system my siblings have been. They are wonderful! Mostly because they can relate to what I’m dealing with.
I’ve been competing in pageants for the six to seven years. Much of my family have been supportive, except for my dad; he has never been a pageant guy. There was a reason I was able to go back every year, in spite of losing the year before, it was my family that pushed me to go back and compete again. My dad will come to the pageants, but if I don’t win, he’s waiting for the judges outside. I’m saying, “You got to relax dad! You got to chill out! Not everybody wins.” Yeah, my dad is a different type of guy. The rest of my family, they’ve all been very supportive. They have really pushed me.
What would you tell to any young adult or service member that has been told they “can’t”?
If anyone is telling you that you can’t, that’s a huge problem. Don’t surround yourself around people like that. The first steps to achieving a goal is believing that you can actually achieve it. I think that’s why it took me to win a pageant. I never pictured myself being Miss USA or Miss Universe. I never pictured it in my mind. The moment that I actually believed I could do it, was the moment I became successful.
When it comes to young adults, its more than just saying, “I want to be a lawyer.” Do you really see yourself as a lawyer? There is a difference between saying something and believing it. You can believe anything, but you have to be able to convince yourself that it can happen. Once that happens, you’re able to mentally produce the steps to make that happen.
What’s the best piece of professional advice you could give to Army Reservists as a soldier and a leader?
The best advice I can give is to decide what you want to do and make it happen. Don’t procrastinate. As soon as I graduated with my undergraduate degree, I took a year and a half off and then I jumped right into my graduate degree. I didn’t wait on anything. Suppose there is a job you want at an agency. What are you waiting on? What do you need to do to make it happen?
I would say, the quickest way to fail is to procrastinate. Say what you’re going to do and do it. Do not wait, do not hesitate; just jump in, full body. There is always going to be people surrounding you that are very, very determined to achieve whatever goals that they’ve set for themselves, and they’ll end up passing you real quick because you’re procrastinating. You may think, “I’ll do this tomorrow” or “I’ll do this next week. I can stay at this job for another year and then I’ll go to that job the next year.” Why even wait? If that’s what you want, then make it happen!
What do you think of when you hear Family Readiness + Soldier Readiness = Mission Readiness?
It really takes a village. I think that for the Army to run, for soldiers to be able to deploy, for soldiers to be able to train, they need a support system. Sometimes a soldier’s family, children, and spouses are their support system. Do you have a support system in which you can call and say, “Hey, can you take care of my child? I have a two week training event.” or “Hey, I left my ruck sack at home. Can you bring it here?” or “The mothers are organizing a big sale for unit day.”
I’m really just saying it takes more than the soldier to make the soldier successful. It takes the family and the entire organization as a whole to ensure that personnel are able to be productive. It’s so much more than just having the unit support, but also having a family the support system for the Soldier to lean on. There are a lot of things that I’ve had to do for my siblings or that my siblings had to do for me, especially when my sister and brother were both deployed. We needed to take care of this or take care of that. How do we handle the lease on your apartment or take care of your car. Whatever the case may be, it takes more than just an individual, it takes a village for the military to run.
For more information about Army Reserve Family Programs, visit our website at www.arfp.org, or contact Fort Family at 1-844-ONE-FAMY or your command’s Family Programs Director or Coordinator. We Inspire and Empower. Anytime. Anywhere. 24x7x365.
The Army Reserve Family Programs mission/intent is to increase awareness of services provided to Army Reserve Soldiers and their families, Command teams and civilians throughout the geographically dispersed Army Reserve community. We also seek to enhance support of Army Reserve missions, soldiers and families.
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